How the student who refused to speak Spanish taught me the language of success.

Bro, I think we've had enough of your Spanish here.

In order to succeed you must fail, so that you know what not to do the next time. Anthony J. D’Angelo.

Let’s say you’re trying to learn the Argentinian tango or trying to get your book published.

Imagine trying to become a world-famous Chef like Julia Childs. Or even Julie Powell for that matter, who spent everyday of a full year cooking up one of Julia Childs’s recipes.

Or pretend you’re on the run from the authorities and need to spend a few months in the Central Americas, let’s say Nicaragua for now, and are trying to learn Spanish.

How do you do something you’ve never done before and excel?

How do you get good at something? What’s the language for success?

As you know, I’m in the spiritually buzzing city of Granada, Nicaragua, learning Spanish.  I took 4 years of high school Spanish but like my French, oh, I’ve never learnt or spoken a word of French in my life!), my Spanish had become rusty. When I snuck into Nicaragua this past month, however, I’ve only spoken Spanish at home, at school, church, and to people on the street.

In fact, here I am with the Spanish school director (who refuses to publicly acknowledge I’m a student of the school):

Don't ever tell anyone you studied here.

The student who wouldn’t speak Spanish.

At Spanish school, I met a fellow-student who had visited Nicaragua several times now but she still didn’t speak Spanish much.  She’s understood everything people were saying to her but usually did not respond. I probed her a little bit trying to inquire why she didn’t want to speak the language.

She said that she didn’t want to look bad by speaking it wrong. She wanted to speak it perfectly, so would continue to think about each word and sentence and perfect conjugation before saying what she wanted to say.

I, on the other hand, was told by my Spanish teacher on the first day of class that I speak Spanish like a ‘directionless bird’ – without any reference to tenses, time or proper conjugation. I’m not trying to brag in any way here about my bird-like ability to speak Spanish but I have and continue to reach a level of proficiency that I can get my basic point across (no matter how bad it comes out) and carry on a conversation.

That’s when I realized the successful ingredient to speaking Spanish or being successful in anything in life.

1. The language to success is learnt by failure.

Instead of hiding from the language or something new, the best way to master it is to attack it. You have to jump in there and get your hands dirty (if cooking), your feet dirty (if playing soccer) or your mouth dirty when speaking Spanish (You know what I mean!).

You must persist in pursuing a new skill or habit you desire to master, and be prepared to do it wrongly, incorrectly and so bad that you’ll be laughed at!

2. Cuddle with AND embrace failure. And no I’m not suggesting you go to bed with that loser ex of yours:) Not only is it a good idea to fail and fail often but also FAIL BIG. Because the more you fail, the more you’re learning. Most people don’t like the idea of failing because they look bad or feel embarrassed. But the flip side of never failing is never learning and never growing.

If you’re trying to learn a new course, a new language, mastering becoming a ninja, trying to become a yoga instructor, then go out and fail. It’s the same way when we were learning to ride a bike or mastered our handwriting as kids. We didn’t just come out on the first time and excel at it. We continued to mess up, look bad, feel horrible, had our parents yell at our incompetence before we figured it out and mastered it.

3. Treat your failures as your building blocks to success. When you do fail and do fail big, treat those failures as the vault of your future success.

People think the more you fail, the more of a loser you are. What if instead, the more you fail means that the more you know how not to fail in the future. And if you fail a lot now then you can’t help but being successful at the skill you desire to master, the habit you desire to have or the business you desire to build.

So, I’m not going to tell you to go out and pursue success. No, my friend, I’ve learnt that the language to success is failing big and often. Falling flat on your face is a good thing.

My Spanish teachers hate me and are trying to ban me from coming back to the school because I speak the language horribly but I’m speaking it everyday, conversing with people and getting better.

The other day, I told the woman who tried to sell me a wallet that I wanted a $10 cordoba ($.50 US) discount because I didn’t want a plastic bag for the wallet. No, she didn’t give me a discount and no I didn’t buy the wallet but we both conversed without the dialogue turning too violent or her ripping me off.

Go on now – go FAIL at something. Keep failing your way to success.

Do you agree about failing being the recipe for success? Do you love to fail or do you embrace failing like a shark in an aquarium?

P.S. Can you do me a favor and share this article with the patrons at the pub you’re reading this post at? Or via social media, if easier. Cheers!

Let’s get this party started – my 7 favorite spiritual songs.

Even if you have no interest whatsoever in spirituality, religion, faith or this blog, you’re probably a fan of music.  Well, how ’bout spiritual tunes that can stir your heart and awaken your soul?

Music can be a big part of anyone’s spiritual practice. Having grown up in a Hindu household, I regularly awakened to hot devotional tracks  with shout-outs to every Hindu God that existed (more than 20,000 it felt like) and spent Sunday mornings singing group devotional songs called bhajans.

Some call spiritual music the universal language of God; a way to invoke the divine in our practice. (Others of you might call music a must-have for building up any modern-day, main-stream cult but that’s a conversation for another day)

So, what are my favorite spiritual songs?

Here’s a list of my top 7:

1) Familiar with the Gayatri mantra? If you’re not Hindu, probably not. If you are, you’re probably sick of hearing this chant. But how could you be? This particular Hindu mantra recited by millions of people at sunrise and sunset around the world is a divine recitation straight out of the Rig Vedas of ancient times. Set to catchy music in this video, this mantra praises the divine creator in the world and asks for enlightenment. Who can ask for more, yo?

I’ve known people who have told me that reciting this mantra has brought miracles into their lives. Check out the song and let me know what you think.

2. Who isn’t moved by the magnificence of Amazing Grace? Basically the spiritual story of an Englishman, John Newton, this hymn has been a strong part of our culture in the United States from the time of the country’s founding. Newton was an obscene sailor living an irreverent life ‘til one day he found himself in the midst of a terrible storm. His spiritual conversion started right there on that rocky ship and produced this beautiful hymn later in his life. Here’s a rendition from child gospel singer, Rhema Marvane:

3. Ave Maria is a Catholic prayer, based on the Gospel of St. Luke. Here’s a wonderful rendition of this Catholic hymn dedicated to the Virgin Mary, by Mirusia:

4.  Swing Low Sweet Charriot is an African-American spiritual with references to the underground railroad, which helped free thousands of slaves in the United States. It’s a deeply moving and spiritual song.

5. Om Namah Sivaya  is a Hindu mantra praising Lord Siva, the powerful Hindu God know to destroy evil spirits. Siva  is as big as it gets in the Hindu faith and most temples have a shrine dedicated to this powerful God. Enjoy this devotional tune dedicate to the all-powerful Lord Siva:

6. Oseh Salom was a song I had never heard previously until I came across it in the CD to the spiritual tome, Spirituality for Dummies.  Sharon Janis has put together a terrific collection of songs bound to get spiritually inspired. Oseh Salom is a beautiful song praying for peace and wholeness.

7. Finally, Creere, by Tercer Cielo is a song I’ve fallen in love with in my travels in Central America. A tour guide introduced me to this song on his Ipod, as one of his favorite’s, while on a hike in the heart of the La Amistad International Park tropical rainforest. It translates to “I will believe” and is an inspirational song about believing in yourself when the doors are closed and going forward in life even when you feel like you can’t.

For my book on spirituality and resiliency, Is God Listening?, click here. 

What in God’s name is church-hopping and why you should get in on the action?

The spiritually-buzzing landscape of Granada, Nicaragua

“I love you when you bow in your mosque, kneel in your temple, pray in your church. For you and I are sons of one religion, and it is the spirit.” Khalil Gibran

Have you rolled out of bed after a night of bar-hopping to a merciless hangover? Yes, a head-throbbing headache, vomit, unquenching thirst and not knowing where the hell you are or what happened the night before?

 

Now, can you imagine a morning filled with strength, hope, peace and enlightenment?

You’re kidding right?

No, my friend, I’m talking about church-hopping and no better place to have discovered this activity than the colonial, spiritual city of Granada.

The city of Granada, Nicaragua stands out for it’s colonial architecture, historical heritage and yes, beautiful churches! I’ve found this to be an extremely spiritual city as well.

Not only is the landscape filled with sacred churches, (I walk past exactly 5 each day to Spanish class) but the people here emit a kind of spiritual vibrancy.

What’s a church-hopper?

If you hopped bars on a Saturday night, you’re a bar-hopper, but what if you hop through churches instead?

I’m going to call you a church hopper if you frequent churches, temples, and places of worship like you do your favorite watering hole.

Church hoppers maybe religious-junkies, spirituality-addicts or you’re probably thinking, lost souls who are going to spend their afterlife in a very hot place.

I would classify church-hoppers as people who frequent religious establishments as a religious or spiritual practice. People who realize that God’s everywhere and no religion has a monopoly on God; that God can be found in all places of worship.

Why church hop?

Having grown up in a Hindu household, I now do religion like you do all-you-can-eat buffets. Hinduism teaches us that there’s only one truth (or God) (or entree as the case may be) but many paths (religious or spiritual practices) to help get us there.

Since there are no Hindu temples here, I have no problem visiting and worshiping in some of the sacred churches of Granada.

In fact, I drop into one or two a day for a little prayer, reflection and meditation. A brief visit to one of the area church’s can give you a little boost of energy for the day, peace of mind and awareness. A little prayer in life, I’ve always found, to instill hope, strength and wisdom into my life.

As a church-hopper, you also get the variety of different religious practices and traditions. Church-hopping shakes up your regular worship routine.

Is this for real Vishnu or are you smoking some ganja in the Nicaraguan barrio?

Listen friends, this isn’t for everyone. If you believe that only your faith or religion has the true connection to God, then by all means attend your church. If you belong to an organization which demands absolute loyalty, a uniform and compound to live, by all means stay 🙂

I’m not advocating this as a path for everyone but if you’re thinking it’s time to give religion a go again, time to try a different religious or spiritual path or just want to get a feel of another religious establishment, then by all means go for it.

This can be a spiritual, cultural and travel adventure of sorts if you’d like! Plus, this is absolutely free and at many Eastern temples and places of worship, you get fed!!! (That’s probably half the reason I’m considering converting to Sikhism)

And come on – worshiping in someone else’s church or temple doesn’t simply mean you’re abandoning your beliefs, faith and traditions. I take it to mean that you’re so confident in your faith that you have no problem worshiping outside of tradition and your comfort zone.

Vishnu, are you going to hell?

In some folks eyes, this could seem as complete heresy, blasphemy and a one way ticket to hell.

But I’m three steps ahead of you. One, I’m increasing my odds of getting to heaven by spreading my risk – there’s less chance I’m embracing the wrong religion if I embrace them all. In fact, I’m probably increasing my chances of escaping hell and making it to heaven.

And if all else fails, as a Hindu, I’m just going to embrace the theory of reincarnation and plan to return in my next life to figure this one out.

Now before you head over to the comments and start giving me a earful, let me use these Nicaraguan church photos as a way to distract you.

Enjoy!

Cathedral church, across from Central Park
Iglesia Xalteva - the church closest to home.
You can find the Virgin of Guadalupe in all churches here.
Don't worry - plenty of room for you.

If you enjoyed those photos, check out this video I captured for you last night of the spiritual vibrancy here. It’s a street parade & celebration of a revered nun in Nicaragua.

What do you think? And I  especially want to hear from the militant religious-type fanatics out there:) Is church-hopping absolutely ridiculous or can worshiping in any religious establishment be ok?

6 Reasons Spirituality Is an Offer You Can’t Refuse

Do you want to look ravishing, land a leading actress role in Hollywood, snag your own reality TV show and sport a Mercedes?

Getting spiritual won’t help you achieve any of those things.

HOLD ON there paisano! Before you flip the channel, hear me out…

What CAN spirituality do for you? (let me make you an offer you can’t refuse on getting spiritual – in addition to the free makeup kit and hairbrush, of course)

Hustling spirituality in your life will have you to start asking some deeper questions about meaning and purpose. It might question your desire for the fancy car and reality TV show in the first place. Living from a spiritual place will bring about a re-examination of your desires and intentions.

Getting spiritual will also help enhance your life in these 6 ways:

1) Reduce suffering from indigestion, anxiety, stress or jet lag.

Ok, I don’t know about jet lag which you mostly get from flying across time zones but connecting with your inner self can help you dramatically reduce or alleviate some of your life’s stresses.  Seizing a spiritual practice can make you less anxious, reduce your blood pressure and lead to a calmer and more balanced life.

2) Control your mind like a lion tamer.

By the time you’ve devoured this post or glanced at this sentence, probably a hundred thoughts have gone through your head. Your mind is like a rabbit in search of a carrot . Or a lion about to eat it’s tamer:) It’s frantic and wild (and is jaw-crushingly strong) – how do you tame your mind?

Start a mindfulness practice to calm your mind. If you calm your mind like a lion tamer tames his cat, you will achieve more awareness, clarity and can become more effective  in life’s daily activities.  I’ve found having a tame mind helps stop procrastination, increases focus and helps you achieve goals. My friend Sandra has provided you with 10 essential tips to tame a wild mind here.

3) Open your heart.

Spirituality has been known to put you in sync you with the world. If you start thinking the world around you is a part of you, you’ll be acting from a place of connectedness, abundance and love. And when you operate from such a divine place, all positive things and infinite possibilities start opening up in your life.

Spirituality can open the heart of the most rushed Mom, stressed professional or entrepreneur.  Once you start operating from an open heart, you’ll find love, kindness, empathy and compassion pour  forth.

4) Clarity in your life.

Oh, yeah – you’ll start having profound life revelations. Material and trivial things begin to fall away from what actually matters. Prada purses and fancy sports cars lose their meaning in and of themselves. You may have thought your purpose in life was to be the divine Goddess to all men but you might realize that the purpose for your life is to be simply divine.

With clarity, you’ll find purpose.

You’ll bail out of professions that don’t suit your soul or fulfill your purpose, and start tackling work that does. You’ll stop wasting time and procrastinating because you’ll become inspired with your life. Clarity is a beautiful thing!

5) Being content.

You might be living a life of lack and unhappiness because you don’t have the perfect mate, house or car. You’re running frantically trying to achieve a dream, goal or fulfill an expectation of you.

Getting spiritual will help you realize that you don’t need to fulfill a single damn goal or dream to be happy. You’ll also realize contentment in the place you are in life for the the things you do have. If you’re content with what you have and grateful for it, you’ll be rocking a life filled with abundance. Spiritual teachers of new and old also teach us that being in alignment with abundance will bring forth everything that you’ve ever needed or wanted.

6) Having the universal laws work with you, instead of against you.

Does everything feel like it’s working against you? You want bullet it home and find yourself in a hellish LA rush hour! You pain-stakingly sign up to take that horrendous architectural exam to find out it’s being offered in a different city. On a different %(&#%@$* continent! You want to marry Giovanni but find out he already is!!

Whenever I’ve noticed that things go bonkers in my life, I’ve noticed it’s because I’m not in sync with the universe and stopped pursuing my spiritual practice momentarily.

When you are in sync with the universal laws, things just start to shift. Opportunities come your way, obstacles get removed and life becomes magical. Traffic jams disappear as God himself intervenes to get cars off the 405 (in Los Angeles)!

I hate you, blogger-dude. Or what if you’re already spiritual?

Oh, I get it – you were born at Woodstock, grew up going to Sunday school or spent your college years being a Hare Krishna.  You drink organic chai, visit church on Christmas and do yoga. You’ve got spirituality locked up.

Well here’s the deal – practice allows you to be more conscious of and grasp your spirituality more. “In the spiritual realm, it is not that practice makes perfect so much as that spiritual practices reveal your perfection” according to Kumuda, aka Sharon Janis, in the sacred Spirituality for Dummies.

“If you’re a multi-billionaire but you don’t know it, you may find yourself living like a pauper instead of in luxury. Similarly, if you don’t know that you’re an express of divine universal spirit, you may think that you’re just a world-entrenched person living in spiritual poverty” Janis tell us in her spiritual guide.

So even if you think you’re spiritual, spirituality is something that can be perpetually refined. You have to practice spirituality to realize your perfection. It’s not just reading a Deepak Chopra classic the next time you hop on a flight. Spirituality, like dating and diets takes work.

If you’re spiritual, what are your practices and what benefits have you received?  If you run from spirituality like you’ve just seen a 7 headed-monster, why?

To pick up my book, Is God Listening, about spirituality and resilience, click here

5 ways to live life shaken, not stirred. (Part 2)

Are you shaking things up?

“If you could pick one rule to experience amazing things, I suggest: If it feels uncomfortable then you’re doing something right. When you’re uncomfortable, you’re growing.” Scott Dinsmore

Are you living a comfortable life?

A life that’s within your comfort zone? A life without much variety or challenge?

Is life becoming boring, monotonous and preventing you from growing further.

Why shake up your life?

I wrote my last post on why to shake up your life on purpose and encouraged you to get out of your comfort zone and take more risks. To take on more challenges and try more uncomfortable things.

One reason I suggested to purposefully shake up your life is to help you embrace the impermanent nature of things and changes that life brings your way.

In addition to embracing change, shaking up your life can inspire further self-development and growth. As my friend Adrienne says, having an adventure allows us to discover more about the world, each other, and ourselves.

As Live Off Your Passion author, Scott Dinsmore, says, “It takes courage to try new things. It takes courage to blaze your own trail.The crowd lives in comfort. An extraordinary life thrives in testing the limit.”

Shaking up your life and getting out of your comfort zone can also be fun, exciting and challenging all at the same time.

5 ways to live a life shaken, not stirred. How to take action and challenge yourself.

1. Determine why you want to shake up your life.

You can shake up your life due to simple boredom and blandness.

You can also do it to challenge yourself, overcome a fear, take on new challenges and grow as a person.

For example, you may be terrified of traveling alone and being uncomfortable outside of the city you live in and the language you know. So travel to overcome your fear.

You may be a terrible dancer because yo were never taught. Take lessons to show yourself you can improve and master a skill.

You hate writing because it requires you to express yourself. Start blogging so you can overcome your reservations.

Don’t have a midlife crisis or go jumping out of airplanes for no reason. Know why you’re shaking things up in your life.

2. Choose activities outside your comfort zone.

The idea here is to challenge yourself and grow as a person.

If you do activities that you’re already doing, you’re not giving yourself the opportunity to grow and develop.

If you love meeting people, you’re not challenging yourself by ‘forcing’ yourself to the company party.

If you practice silence every day of your life because of monastery rules, being silent out in public is no big deal.

If you think about an activity and it makes you feel uncertain, anxious, fearful or uncomfortable, that’s the activity you should pursue.

As Ali Luke suggests, the question to ask yourself is, “what makes you nervous” in life? Those are the things to do in order to test your comfort level and challenge yourself.

3. Do your research.

I decided to leave a comfortable job, friends and a place I was becoming comfortable with. A year before I did so, I started doing research.

I found out how much it would take financially to take a work “sabbatical”. I calculated how much it would take to live in different parts of Central and South America. I researched the various countries I was going to travel to and prioritized them

With the power of the internet, you can research anything today. No matter what it is. From starting an online bookstore to selling tea online, to traveling the world or pursuing an acting dream. There are bloggers, writers, and experts in the field showing you how to do what you want to do. Find out how much things cost, and evaluate the pros and cons before you shake up your life.

4. Plan ahead.

Before you leave for an around the world journey or try to become enlightened or launch your music career, have a plan.

Just like doing your research, a plan is important for your journey to shake up your life. If you don’t have a general idea of where you’re going and how you’re going to get there, you’re not going to get very far.

Figure out how many months or years you’re going to pursue your project or passion. Figure out how you’re going to get around and what kind of transport you’ll use.

If you’re going to need the support of friends and family, know when and who to ask.

If you’re going to move to become a ninja, you have to figure out how to save up to get to Japan, find a dojo and master you skill.

If you’re going to start a web design freelance business by returning to the motherland, the Philippines of course, have a plan on how you’re going to deal with the challenges of moving back and working there.

For me, it took planning but that’s why I can now share these Nicaraguan pics with you:)

A view of the city of Granada
A fountain in a lovely garden.
Colorful streets of Granada, Nicaragua

5. Evaluate your progress.

Once you start your journey to shake up your life, evaluate your progress regularly. If you set out to overcome a fear or grow as a person, check in and see how you’re doing.

Are you getting more comfortable in your adventure or less?

If you’ve nailed it and successfully become the person you wanted to be or overcame the obstacle you were facing, maybe it’s time to shake up some of the other areas in your life.

Consciously monitor the progress of your new activities and see if it’s making an improvement in your life and helping you become the person you’d like to be.

If you are the new ‘you’, great! If you’re not and you’re spending a lot of time on it, it could be time to move on.

Here are a few folks I know who have shaken up their lives in different ways:

♦ Janet quit her job and move to the Philippines to start her own online freelance business.
Amy is a personal trainer who regularly challenges her clients to get out of their comfort zone with working out and life.
Wendy Irene strives to live a life of wellness and took on the Gunnar challenge, witth her husband, to lose weight.
Irving, or the wise Vizier, has embraced change in his life and blogs about the many lessons life’s taught him on his blog, Han of Harmony.
Penelope left the city, married a farmer and is raising two kids on a farm, while writing, blogging and helping young professionals manage their careers.
Milo, Therese and Izzy quit their jobs. Milo is now an international man  of copy and is trying to dominate the world . Therese helps you get unlost in life so you find your career path and Izzy is going to become a ninja.  (laugh at your own peril here)
Lori runs an engaging community blog and made a leap to publish her own e-book on kindle without going through traditional publishing channels.
Keith  started his own blog recently and is about to break some habits. (and takes us along for the ride)
Caroline, Meg, David & Maria are each shaking it up by traveling, taking on life and blogging about it.
Razwana has made a couple major job changes to London, then Paris and started a blog to help others find their ideal jobs.

Have you shaken up your life by doing something new, challenging or different? Please share your experiences in the comments below and what steps you took to shake things up.

Sharks, surfing instructors, a guest post on Everyday Gyaan and Muir Woods

Be careful when you scream 'shark'!

Hi there virtuous people!

Just a quick post to let you know about my guest post at Everyday Gyaan.

Have you falsely yelled “shark” when taking surfing lessons and had beach police show up? NO?

Oh, never mind. Please do read the guest post anyway as it’s about how to remain calm like the ocean floor when life confronts you with killer waves and challenges.

Thank you so much to my new blogger friend, inspirational writer and life coach, Corrine, for the opportunity to guest post on her wonderful blog, Everyday Gyaan.

Attention all tree-lovers and tree-huggers – enchanting Muir Woods photos!

Although I’m in Costa Rica at the moment and soon heading to Nicaragua, I did want to share some photos with you of a spiritual paradise  in Northern California.

Although I grew up in Northern California, I didn’t spend as much time in this place as I should have until recently. Muir Woods is a sanctuary for the ancient redwood trees. These trees are majestic. Did you know they can grow up to 379 feet tall and they are 2000+ years old? The tallest tree at Muir Woods is 252 feet, 1000 years old and 14 feet wide.

These trees flourish in California’s fog belt where the summer fog supplies the necessary moisture for these redwoods to thrive in California. The next time you’re in the San Francisco area, head over 12 miles north of the Golden Gate bridge to Muir Woods and pay homage to this cathedral of redwoods.

The clearest way into the universe is through a forest wilderness” conservationist John Muir.

Some photos from my recent Muir Woods trip:

Dude, where’s your inner peace?

Dude, where’s my car?

Where’s your car dude?

Dude, where’s my car?

Where’s your car dude?

— legendary Hollywood (should have been Oscar-winning movie) Dude where’s my car?

Ashton Kucher and Sean Scott spend a full 90 minutes looking for their cars in the epic movie, Dude Where’s My Car after a full night of intoxicated partying. They wake up in the morning looking for their lost car and spend an entire movie trying to track it down.

This post is not about finding your car.

But I would say, on a side note, that I’ve had plenty of trouble finding my car.

You know that feeling when you park at a shopping center and walk out 8 hours later carrying 12 luxury shopping bags filled with necessities from Gucci, Saks 5th Avenue, & Nordstroms? And all 4 sides of the shopping center look EXACTLY the same?

You walk up and down the parking lot trying to unlock every car that looks like yours? And in the process are surrounded by armed security guards asking you to put your hands over your head and then cite you for disturbing peace when you try to run away?

Oh…never happened to you…Ummm.. moving on…

You may not have searched for your car in the shopping center parking lot or after a night of drunken stupor but what are you searching for in your life? (what a transition!?!)

Don’t we all spend our lives looking for something? Paris romances? Dubai riches? Hollywood glamor? Thrills of driving a Maserati?

Not you?

Okay, how about your own search for what you think will make you happy and bring you inner peace?

I think it’s safe for me to say that I was searching for work success, advancement, glory, riches. And spent the 12 to 14 hours of my working life every day trying to get ahead.

Why eat with others when I can eat and read journals about the next big ideas and great inventions?

Why drive, listening to music I enjoy, when I could listen to movers and shakers talking about leadership and achievement on CD?

Why go home early to see the family when I never know who I’m going to meet at the next business networking event?

Of course, when we spend all this time in our life in pursuing the wrong things – climbing the corporate ladder, chasing the next promotion or raise at work, pursuing Hollywood fame, achieving social standing, things tend to come to a crashing halt.

When do you search for inner peace?

Each of us at different point in our lives come to the same realization – “hey, I don’t know if want I’m pursuing in my life is really want I want! There’s something missing in my life.”

“I’m pursuing external achievements, milestones, relationships, and material possessions that really don’t make me happy or bring me peace.”

“This job, this relationship, this car, this house, this business isn’t really what I wanted.”

Or maybe you did want those things but you’re still feeling a big void in your life – you’re not at peace with yourself. Your mind is a worried and scared, you’ve lost meaning in what you thought you wanted or life throws you a nasty curve ball that brings you what appears like insurmountable problems and challenge.

Sometimes, it takes one or all of those things, to start your search for inner peace, calmness, and stability.

It might take a life changing event or tragedy for you to realize that you cannot be controlled by outside circumstances anymore. You will not let the outside world determine your peace of mind. You will refuse to bullied by life’s circumstances and events.

Why are you looking in all the wrong places? And the secret to finding inner peace.

When you do start looking for inner peace, many of us go awry and get lost in the journey to inner peace. We seek healers, gurus, spiritual leaders, books, religions, cool cults and other practices that we think will help us achieve inner calmness and awareness.

Just like how you previously traveled along the road of life towards external destinations, achievements and goals, you now believe that the road to inner calmness and peace comes through external means.

It doesn’t.

Unfortunately, it takes us a long time to realize that inner peace is something that’s…how should I put this…INTERNAL!

As scary, uncertain, and daunting as that may seem, the journey to inner peace begins within ourselves.

We can be guided by spiritual practices or guides but ultimately the state of inner peace is journey that begins within. The journey to inner peace is a daily choice that confronts us with hundreds of daily circumstances. As my friend Wendy points out, it’s how we react to daily challenges.

We can use external tools and methods on the journey to inner peace but the trip requires us to go within ourselves and strive to find peace in each moment of our lives. If you’ve started on your inward journey towards peace, here’s 10 practical steps you can take today on your journey to inner peace.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Nothing can bring you peace but yourself”.

Are you looking for inner peace within yourself or searching for it like you’re at a buffet line at your favorite restaurant? What path are you pursuing to find inner peace?

To learn more about my book about spirituality and resilience, Is God Listening?, click here

Photo courtesy of Danny McL

Holy cows! A village traffic jam, Indiana Jones and lessons in moving forward.

A cow traffic jam can ruin your morning.

A rush hour traffic jam.

Traffic jams and accidents in the pueblo, or village, take on a life of their own.

Earlier this week, I traveled from the Costa Rican pueblo I’m living in for the summer, Biolley, to another nearby pueblo, Las Tablas. We went in my friend’s truck to pick up a student volunteer who was joining us at the farm for a couple of weeks.

It was a typical morning in Costa Rica; heavenly! The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, the greenery was as vibrant as ever. We even left 2 hours early for the 30 minute ride down to the Las Tablas bus stop, trying to capture the beauty of this region with our cameras.

As we  drove down the last winding turn towards a straight road that would take us into Las Tablas, we approached a trailer full of cows sitting in the middle of the bridge! (see photo above) The trailer could not make it up the small uphill climb because of the weight of the cows.

Indiana Jones to the rescue.

Since the trailer was stuck in the middle of the narrow bridge, cars couldn’t travel either way. 8 am in the morning, a trailer full of cows in the middle of the road, traffic stopped on both sides, what would you do if you got stuck on this traffic jam?

Exactly. Stop the engine, get out of your car and chit chat with all your neighbors from the village who you hadn’t seen in weeks. As we commiserated and tried to find the humor in this situation, we realized our cell phones didn’t have reception in the area to make calls or communicate with anyone.

At that point, we didn’t know how many kilometers away the actual bus stop was and it was nearing 8:30 a.m, the time the student volunteer was to arrive. As we looked out into the sea of cows stomping with restlessness in the trailer, a frustrated driver who couldn’t figure out how to move his heavy trailer, and no cell phone reception, I volunteered to do the only thing I could do in that situation.

Walk across the bridge to the bus stop.

My Indiana Jones-like tactics required I tip toe without falling into the river behind me and without getting a kiss from the agitated cows whose faces were literally a couple inches away from mine.

I had to walk past the entire trailer, clutching onto the rails with my life, to get over to the other side of the bridge. Once I made it across, I started to walk towards the bus stop. I commenced my long and treacherous uphill journey, uncertain of how many kilometers away the actual bus stop was located.

When you move forward past the initial road blocks, the obstacles seem to disappear.

I made it past the cow-filled trailer and began to walk towards the bus stop.

To my relief, the bus stop was only 1.5 km from the derailed cow trailer. I reached the bus stop exactly as the bus arrived. The student volunteer and I started walking back to our friend’s truck.

A local merchant in a van pulled over and offered us a ride back to the bridge. He rolled his eyes at us when we tried to explain to him a trailer full of cows had broken down back at the bridge. He drove us back to the bridge, where we jumped out and trekked back across the bridge, holding onto the rails with our lives.

Without falling in the ditch again or exchanging kisses with the cows, we got back to the other side of the bridge. Our friend was able to make a u-turn with her truck and we headed back home to the farm.

What does a broken down cow-filled trailer have to do with life? Well, if you confront an angry-cow filled trailer traffic jam, you have 2 choices. You can sit there and wait it out or try to move forward despite the obstacles.

All I did was decide to cross the bridge to walk to the bus stop.

From there, I found that it was just a short distance to the bus stop. The bus also arrived exactly when I did. A local merchant gave us a ride back and we were able to head back home a lot sooner than if we had sat in the traffic jam until the driver had figured out the physics of moving his cow-filled trailer.

When facing obstacles and challenges, you just have to move forward. While I could have ended up kissing a cow or falling into a river, I didn’t. And once I showed the situation I was willing to take a smooch from my four-legged friends, the other obstacles just disappeared right in front of me.

What about you? What do you do when facing a trailer full of cows? How about other life obstacles? Have you noticed that obstacles tend to fall away when you take them on? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

A couple other photos of the scenery that morning.

Costa Rican scenery
River from afar
Another couple of cows (not in the trailer)

 

 

21 Phrases People Who Resist Taking Action Use

This train's on Indian time. What's your excuse mate?

Ahhh…you’re back for more, eh?

What’s happened since we last spoke about delay and resistance? Did you start that blog? Kick off that business? Fire your stockbroker? Un-friend the deadbeat “friends” on Facebook?

To those of you who simply say, “screw it, I’m just not going to do it right now no matter what my attorney or Vishnu says”, you’ve embraced resistance and procrastination in your life. The bigger problem is for everyone else who’s in denial about resistance.

The language of resistance.

Resistance is putting things off in your life which you need to be doing but are not, for some strong underlying reason. It’s why you don’t take the garbage out until 4:59 a.m. (1 minute before pick-up time), why you never go to your in-laws house for dinner and why you keep library books with you until you receive an ‘intent to sue’ letter from the library. It’s why you don’t go to the dentist, why you stopped going to church and why you’ll never go on a diet.

The problem with resisting action is that it’s easy to overlook the language we use to delay. We can be incredibly creative in putting off tasks. Language is one cue that can help show us how clever we are when resisting action.

While the examples I share below may be over the top, the 21 trigger phrases I suggest (they’re italicized and underlined) are phrases we may be using regularly to resist action.

Which of these phrases have you said to yourself lately?

1. I really should become an A-list actor and do a movie with Brad Pitt. (My friend, Amy, just wrote about why you need to stop ‘should-ing’ your life away.)

2. I need to give up my Wall Street job and save children in Sudan.

3. If I had enough time, I would start a business that would allow people to post photos of their faces online and then create a social media platform where they can connect with each other based on shared likes and interests.

4. If I was a millionaire, I’d hire Tim Brownson to move into my guest house and be my life coach and spiritual advisor.

5. If I only could wake up in the mornings meditate, I could find inner peace and reach enlightenment by the end of the year.

6. I could run a triathlon if I really wanted; I’d do 3 a year and probably set some world records.

7. I’d like to travel to France, climb the Eiffel tower, walk over to the Pierce Brosnan-looking businessman staring out into the streets of Paris and tell him that we were destined to be with each other.

8. If God had wanted it, I’d have a house golf-course side in Palm Springs too.

9. When I meet the right agent, publisher and editor, I should be able to start writing my New York Times best seller.

10. If I had gone to school for that, I would have probably dropped out of Harvard and started Microsoft in a garage.

11. Once the housing market rebounds, I’m going to save up a little bit of money to buy a couple rental properties in the Florida Keys.

12. I need to stop working until 9 p.m every night and see my 2 year-old twins a couple nights a week.

13. One day, I’m going to start eating vegetables, lose 100 pounds and audition to be the guy who replaces Jared on those Subway commercials.

14. I love the idea of going into work at the post office, telling my boss to ‘stuff it’ and start that around the world overnight delivery service I’ve always dreamed of. (Actually, I know a blogger who did just that, with some slight variations of course). Milo said goodbye to the civil service, gave them plenty of notice about his departure and now is a full-time freelance copywriter. He didn’t just love the idea but he made it happen!)

15. I must forgive my third grade teacher for beating me in class every week when I was growing up and I must stop casting spells on her via this voodoo doll I had shipped over from the Caribbean islands.

16. I’m going to stop partying every week night til 2 a.m. at the clubs, spending my hard-earned money on booze and late night Denny’s runs.

17. When the new year rolls around, I’m going to stop smoking, turn vegan, drink organic water, cut out carbs, move out of my Mom’s basement, go up and see my Mom weekly and get a job!

18. If I knew people, I’d be in the U.S. Senate too and would have been Vice President by now instead of that Joe Biden guy.

19. My dream is to quit this waitressing gig in my hometown of Otis, Kansas and perform those country western songs I sing around the campfire to a live audience. (What if your dream was to quit your job, move to Japan and become a ninja? Yeah, I know someone who did that.)

20. Once the kids are grown, I’m going to give up my career as a trucker and really get serious about raising goats and selling them.

21. I would like to travel the world and teach people languages when I retire in 20 years. (One globe-trotter who didn’t wait 20 years and is teaching languages while she travels is my friend, Maria. If you want to learn Spanish online, she’s a Skype call away.)

We can’t knock out resistance in our lives unless we learn to identify the language we use to resist. That was my stab at common resistance phrases I’m familiar with and hell, may have even used at different points in my life.

Did I miss any? What words or phrases do you use to resist taking action in your own life? Let me know in the comments below. 

By the way, do you love goats? If you do, check out what rush hour looks like on the Costa Rican farm that I’m living at, Morning Rush Hour on the Farm. Also, check out a recent guest post I did on Bjorn’s blog, Culture Mutt.

* Photo by Passetti

 

 

A guest post on A Daring Adventure and more Costa Rican photos.

A view of the rainforest outside my window

A big hello to my 4 readers, 3 twitter followers, 2 brothers and myself:)

Just wanted to let you all know that I’m thrilled about having my first guest post on my friend, Tim Brownson’s blog, A Daring Adventure. Tim is the funniest blogger I know on the blogosphere so I’m glad I had an opportunity to post on his blog. Tim’s also an excellent life coach! Before you jump off that 30th story building, call 407-334-4692.

I enjoyed writing the blog post and am enjoying all the comments and thoughts about the subject – how to get out of bed in the morning to meditate. Seriously – getting out of bed in the morning is the hardest part of a meditation practice. I offer some great tips about how to do it including my favorite way – #6 Have some monks spend the night in your bedroom to kick off your early morning practice.

If you need some helping waking up to start your practice, please visit today’s guest post here: A Daring Adventure guest post.

For the rest of you who have no interest in meditation and came to this website looking for how to live a virtuous life, sorry! But do enjoy some photos from my current Costa Rican adventure.

Yes, this is what I imagined paradise would look like.
A street scene of nearby San Vito in Southern Costa Rica (near the Panama border)
The church in San Vito is in the central area of town.
Are they hiring at the local San Vito bakery?