Why Forgive? 6 Reasons To Forgive Even When You Don’t Want To.

forgiveness
Bro, I need another 18 reasons to forgive her!

I sat on the curb at 2 a.m, in front of my grandparent’s home.

I had never spent the night on the streets of Singapore (or any country really) and having just arrived at midnight, I didn’t want to startle my sleeping grandparents –or have them ring the cops!

I hadn’t told anyone I’d be visiting.

I flung my luggage in front of the iron gates and made myself comfortable on the curb to wait for dawn. I did what anyone sitting on a dimly-lit street at 2 a.m. would do in Singapore: I pulled out my laptop and started reading my friend Galen Pearl’s ebook on forgiveness.

The journey to this curb had been one of the longest journeys of my life. And I’m not just talking about the 20-hour flight from California.

See, I hadn’t spoken to my parents for a little more than 2 years.

During one of the most difficult periods in my life – the most difficult, in fact – my Indian parents aggravated a painful experience by actively intruding in and opposing my separation from my ex-wife.

What about our family name,” they pleaded. “What will others say about us?

You have no choice – you must stay together,” they commanded uniformly.

Being in a place of extreme vulnerability, pain and hurt, I couldn’t handle the added pressure and demands of my parents.

So, we stopped talking. I did, anyway. For 2 years so I could complete the divorce and move on with my life.

I resented them for being unsupportive and choosing to see me in pain rather than alleviate painful circumstances.

This trip back to Singapore was the first step on my journey to forgiveness. I hopped on a flight I didn’t want to take. Struggled to book my ticket, to hop on the plane and sit through a 20+ hour grueling journey. Survived transit lounges,  immigration and customs to confront 2 people who had hurt me so much.

And here I was now contemplating how I’d forgive the two people that compounded the pain of my separation and later divorce. The parents who opted for self-interest and family name before their son’s interest.

As I sat on the curb and waited for dawn, I re-read the chapters on forgiveness in the book, 10 Steps to Finding Your Happy Place (and Staying There).

I needed all the advice and inspiration I could get before I would have to confront my parents in the next couple of days and find a way to forgive them.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that prisoner was you.” Lewis B. Smeedes

I re-read the forgiveness chapters for the fourth time. Galen recognized forgiveness was a challenge to most, but provided a convincing argument in several chapters of why to forgive someone.

I needed every reason in the book to allow forgiveness into my heart.

Wanting to forgive was why I had gotten on the plane and why I was now sitting on the curb in the middle of a mildly humid Singaporean night.

“Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.” Suzanne Somers

Here are 6 reasons that moved me to forgiveness during that trip, per Galen’s book, and why you should forgive the people you’re holding grudges against in your life.

1)      When victims of tragedy and crimes can forgive, why can’t you? Galen gives an example of the most horrific crime committed on a community of people. For example, the Amish schoolhouse shooting by Charles Robert in 2006 which killed 5 young Amish schoolchildren.

When the community was willing to rely on their faith to forgive an unfathomable crime, are you not able to let go of small or large trespasses against you?

All major religious faiths and traditions encourage forgiveness, one of the most important principles after, ‘love your neighbor’.  Religious traditions encourage forgiveness for the most horrific, painful and destructive acts by others.

Why aren’t you able to forgive the person who didn’t send you a ‘thank you’ card?

2)      No matter what your reason for holding grudges, you’re poisoning yourself internally.

Are you holding back on forgiveness because you’re upset, angry or wanting to teach the perpetrator a lesson? You’ve probably realized that holding a grudge and not forgiving someone may be “secretly delicious”, as Galen says, but it ultimately hurts you the most.

When you don’t forgive, you’re filled with anger, bitterness and revenge.

Not forgiving will cost you your well-being – physically, emotionally and spiritually.

You think you’re hurting someone else or making them feel your wrath. But the gorilla of anger and bitterness envelopes you daily and your every interaction. Your life and view of the world are blinded by anger, hate and bitterness.

Every relationship and interaction is clouded by your inability to forgive.

* Here’s the big secret about forgiveness: you’re freeing and releasing yourself in the process. Forgiving others benefits you and releases YOU from pain. Your life improves dramatically when you let the grudge go.

3)      Even if you’re not ready to forgive, set the intention to forgive. I wasn’t ready to forgive but got on a flight and made the journey back to Asia. I had set the intention to forgive even if I was finding physically and psychologically hard to do so. How do you forgive people who’ve caused you so much pain?

Although I didn’t know how I’d forgive, I forged ahead anyways. If you set the intention to forgive, you’ll start opening your heart to the possibility of forgiveness.

Galen writes that we need, “a willingness that opens the crack in our hardened heart shell just enough so we can breathe in the healing power of compassion and breathe out the toxic bar of bitterness.”

Explore the possibilities of forgiveness. Visualize what it’d be like. See what needs to happen in you to let go and stop the hurting person or their actions from continuing to plague you every day.

4)      Forgive radically. Did the wronged act benefit you in some way?

Radical forgiveness is not your traditional way to excuse another but more dramatically to look at the incident as a gift.

What??

While you may have no intention to pardon your ex who broke your heart to a million pieces, your parents who destroyed your self-esteem or your friend who betrayed you, could each one of them have brought forth revelations in your life, paths for growth or self-understanding?

You have to go to a pretty radical place to realize and change your perceptions on the wrong-doer and the pain they caused.

And forgive them while focusing on the many benefits and positive circumstances that came out of their wrong-doing.

Did my parents help teach me how to be there for others in their time of need?

Did they make me want to consider restraint before meddling in other people’s problems or relationships?

Were they trying to show me their love and trying to protect me from the heart-break and pain that came with divorce?

5)      Forgiveness transforms pain into compassion. Once you’re able to exonerate someone, you’ve just showered the person and situation with compassion. You’re willing to acknowledge the pain and let go of it.

Forgiving allows you to build your ability to be compassionate to others. It allows for understanding others, excusing their wrongs and redeeming them. If you can extend this kindness to those who pain you, you’ll be better able to live with more compassion towards all those around you.

Compassion brings you happiness and allows you to celebrate the divine quality in others.

6)      Forgive to open up paths to be forgiven.

You may want to be forgiven some day too, no?

Although this might be the one of the more selfish reasons to forgiven, I thought I’d add to reasons to forgive by suggesting using the Golden Rule to your advantage.

You’ve wronged others and hurt them. Sometimes, you don’t even know how much you’ve irritated, infuriated or wronged someone else.  You may have hurt someone who means a lot to you and who you want to continue to have a strong relationship with.

How would you feel if you could NEVER be forgiven by someone you cared about? Now, do you want to be that person? A person filled with so much indignation and self-righteousness they couldn’t allow their ego to pardon a wrong?

Don’t be that person. Build up your arsenal of forgiveness karma.

There’s someone you need to forgive today. There may be more but there’s probably one person you were thinking of as you were reading this article.

Are you ready to forgive them? Have you forgiven someone and glad you did?

Please add to the conversation in the comments below – your thoughts give me more perspective on these issues.

* Photo credit nme421

52 Comments

  1. V! This article was a long time coming! Really great read! Your strength is inspirational.

    I’ve had to do some pretty deep soul-searching to forgive lately. Yes, I was the prisoner of all that emotion until I set it free. And I tell you, it was about 2 years in the making. Definitely not an overnight process.

    And it comes in waves.

    I thought I was ready to forgive this person at least 6 times before I actually WAS ready to forgive. The forgiveness cannot be forced.

    My decision was made when I finally asked myself how staying angry with this person was serving my life. It wasn’t being served positively! And that’s what triggered it. It didn’t make any of the experience of the past go away, but I made peace with it.

    And it all started with, as you say, setting the intention to forgive.

    The irony is that the other person is not ready to forgive me, and I can see now, quite clearly, how this is harming them. It breaks my heart to see it but it’s not for me to fix. We all come to the decision in our own time.

    – Razwana

    1. Razwana, as you describe, forgiveness is hard but yeah, we gotta start somewhere. Even if it’s with the intention to forgive. The thing is you’re free now and the other person has to find it in their life to forgive. They may have to go through their own forgiveness journey to realize they have to forgive for themselves, for their life to get better. Thanks as always for your comment.

  2. Vishnu,

    I love the direction of your writing man. You are getting really personal and real (just like your post on A Daring Adventure).

    Man – I cannot imagine the type of struggle to go through a divorce and to have your parents pushing against you like that. I got mad respect for your ability to have that experience plus the story on a daring adventure plus all the other stories you haven’t yet shared and still be able to bring such humor to the table.

    Says a lot about your character man.

    Me – I think I was most taken a back by number 3. Sometimes we just aren’t quite ready to forgive, but if set the intention to forgive then in time we can start to see the experience with more open eyes.

    I liked all of these man. You know I’m gonna share the balls off of this post (Yes, apparently I have just stated your post has ‘balls’).

    1. Thanks Izzy for your comment and for sharing – I’m thinking this goes back to a romantic evening in Los Angeles….haha Thanks for the kind words about writing more openly. As Razwana and you like to say – courage is not an act of thinking, it’s an act of doing. Well, not sure if you both say that but thought I would conveniently paraphrase you both for this reply comment. LOL

      I think the intention is key – it starts the process that can help you become ready to forgive any day. Some day.

  3. Vishnu, Thank you for linking back to my book review for Galen.

    The funny thing about forgiveness is that we presume it means that what the other party did was OK and we are excusing it by forgiving, when in fact that is not the case at all! What we are doing is offering grace in the situation. You are right, we have all done harm, in ways we may never know in this lifetime, and we would like a chance to make amends or be forgiven.

    1. I like how you say that Julie – offering grace in the situation! And yes, forgiveness karma is what I like to call it. Forgive others cause we may need to be forgiven by a whole lotta people we may or may not know about!

  4. Forgiveness is not an easy thing to do. It can even be harder to forgive when the other party is a loved one. We cannot understand why the person who is “supposed” to love us most can possibly cause us so much anger. However, what can help is the realization that all of us are human and without knowing any better, mistakes can be made.

    According to David Hawkins, the lowest emotion on the Map of Consciousness is shame. The thought of shame can drive us to make an unwise action.

    Hope you have mend your ties with your parents 🙂

    1. Thanks for your visit Evelyn. Forgiveness is quite a challenge! Hmm…never thought about shame and it’s impact on forgiveness but more food for thought. There should be a follow up to this post to what some people have said is a cliff-hanger. haha

  5. So, so tough what your parents put you through, adding insult to injury as you went through a painful divorce, but you are doing the absolute right thing by forgiving them. Holding grudges, for sure, only hurts us in the long run. And, yes, I’ve had to forgive some folks who, at the time, caused me lots of pain and hurt. But, turns out, that was an experience which led me onto a better path in my life.
    Such a thoughtful, honest, and personal post, Vishnu. Thank you for the inspiration!

    1. Glad you too have forgiven others in your life, Martha and especially good to hear that it led you onto a better path. That’s probably yet another reason for us all to forgive more. Thanks for your kind words.

  6. Vishnu, This must have been a hard post to write, but what a gift to show people what challenging forgiveness looks like. It took a lot of courage to write this, and much more courage to forgive. Blessings to you. (And I’m so humbly pleased that my book was helpful to you.)

  7. Vishnu,

    I can only imagine how hard that situation must have been and how difficult this post must have been to write. Forgiving is a courageous things, but it’s so liberating! I have been there myself but when you decide to let go and forgive, trying to understand the other even if you don’t share their behavior puts you in a light, wise place.
    Thanks for sharing it with us.

    1. hey Maria! Glad to see you here and your new blog. Good to hear you’ve forgiven also and that forgiveness can put us in a lighter and wiser place. It was difficult to write but probably easier than forgiving:)

  8. I forgive you…Oh, I was just practicing…but how does it feel to be forgiven?

    I have given you a list of people I should forgive but in the end, it is really myself that I have not forgiven ~ it is such a long process and we do need ‘light switches’ to turn all the signals on…

    When you wrote, ‘forgive even when you’re not ready’ and to do it ‘radically’ ~ it really blew off my mind. How? We all come from different places of hurt… I know only God could ‘crack’ that desire/willingness to do so…only a profound force could ever break a hard heart… You have cooperated well…

    *Thanks for sharing your experience… and I agree that you have come a very long way… continue in your journey. Lots of love and prayers. God bless.

    1. haha let’s all keep practicing MT!

      yeah, that’s probably a whole another post – no? How to forgive ourselves?

      Forgiving radically and setting the intention to forgive were a couple of Galen’s awesome tips! And yes, we can always welcome God into our lives to help us inspire the path to forgiveness. And definitely played a role in my forgiveness journey. Thank you for your visit and prayers!

  9. This post is just what the doctor ordered for people like you and me who have been wronged so much by others in our lives. It’s hard to forgive when you’ve been the victim, but ultimately you have to. Like you said, the more you hold a grudge, the more it poisons you and destroys your well-being. Plus, it’s as important to forget as it is to forgive so you can heal physically & emotionally.

    Great post, Vishnu!

    1. Thank you DKnight for the feedback! Yes to all you said from the post – forgive for yourself, and forgive to heal emotionally and even physically.

  10. Hi Vishnu,

    Thank you so much for sharing your experiences so authentically and how you used what happened with your parents to grow as a person, and by doing so, being an inspiration to all of us to do the same.

    Forgiveness of people who have wronged us, is indeed a biggie. However, it really is needed for all the reasons you explained so well in your post. We can never control other people and what they are going through. Indeed, at times others will project their own fears onto us, which in itself I wish didn’t happen, but unfortunately it does. I think it is when we find ourselves in such painful situations that spirituality and religion really do become powerful forces to deal with them.

    Thanks a lot for writing such a great post.

    1. Thank you Hiten! Forgivenes is on my list on top 3 life rules. Let’s see – what are the other two again:) I’m going to try to remember them and share them in a post soon. I keep going back and forth on several life rules as to the top 3!

      A spiritual and religious practice can definitely help us take that first step towards forgiveness. Thanks again for adding your thoughts here.

  11. I remember this part of Galen’s book striking me very hard too, Vishnu. I have been doing the ‘work’ of forgiving too over the past few months and I can see it bearing fruit in my life – helping me to heal and move on. Thank you for daring to be so authentic – I truly admire your ability to walk the talk, my friend. May we continue to forgive and become more compassionate individuals. ♥

    1. It’s a great read anytime but especially more so when you have a few hours to kill at night (and under the circumstances I described 🙂 I’m trying to tell the story as openly and authentically as I can – as you and many of my friends in the blogosphere also do.

  12. Vishnu,

    Thanks for sharing your story. I think it is wonderful that you were able to find the strength to forgive. You are inspiring many others with your writing and by sharing your personal stories. Really great.

    Lisa

    1. Hey Lisa – Gotta figure out something to do with these stories so why not help others? They’ve been filled with so much pain, tears and struggles – why not turn them into something positive:) ? Your honesty and vulnerability is what I like in your writing!

  13. This was a wonderful post on forgiveness and I liked all the reasons you’ve stated. Though forgiving is challenging its benefits are numerous and it It takes courage to pen down your own story. Thanks for sharing your story and being an inspiration to many.

    1. Thanks for your comment and visit Diana. Looking forward to checking out your blog.

      Yes, there are numerous reasons to forgive and I needed every one of them in the book 🙂

  14. Hi Vishnu,

    Another great post and heartfelt. I am going through my own forgiveness journey at the moment and the thing that helped me through is the ‘prisoner’ element you referred to – and realising that not forgiving was causing me even more pain. It does take time though, as sometimes the hurt numbs us to what is happening, and that is not a bad thing. If we have a physical injury, we have to wait and recuperate before we start using the muscles again so as not to cause further damage, and the same can be said for our hearts. We have to heal to a certain degree before we are ready (and I think your ‘intention to forgive’ covers this). Part of this is forgiving ourselves first and not putting pressure on ourselves to forgive even if we want to but aren’t ready. So another important factor is to give ourselves time I still have a bit of work to do and your post will be a great help, so thank you. I will be reading this again.

    Thanks, Vishnu

    1. Hi Keith!! The prisoner theory/element is probably the most important lesson I’ve learned so glad that it resonates! And you’re right – took my time to get there. A couple of years haha so I’m sure everyone will get there at their own pace, after healing. And you too have raised an important point about forgiving ourselves. I’m going to be reflecting on that topic more. I’m looking forward to reading more about your forgiveness path when you’re ready.

  15. Being able to forgive our self and others is essential to moving forward and living a fulfilled life. I really like the truth in the quote you shared: “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that prisoner was you.” Great post and thoughts!

  16. What a great post Vishnu – Forgiveness is such a strong weapon for peace and love in mankind isn’t it?

    The best part about this post and forgiveness is that when you are ready/not ready to forgive someone but have the intention to, you’re actually helping yourself by releasing yourself. That is a great life lesson learned here!

    Wonderful post, thanks so much for sharing!

    Aditya

    1. Thanks Aditya, just like the quote said, forgiveness allows you to realize that you were the prisoner and now allows us to be free. Yes, forgiveness is good for us personally and humanity overall b/c our small actions have a global impact.

  17. What a great article! And kudos to you for seeking healing and forgiveness. I strive to focus on forgiveness every minute of every day because I really struggle with that whole process. Feeling bitter, resentful and “right” just feels so much easier sometimes! Ha. For myself, I found that once I finally allowed myself to feel the anger then my depression lifted. And after stewing in my anger, it finally lifted and I could view things less emotionally. For me, forgiveness is a daily process of reminders that I feel help me work towards a happier life. I try to remind myself that we all are doing the best we can in this moment… but sometimes other’s best are not what I or someone else need. Happy day and best wishes in your journeys! : )

    1. Thanks Kaylin for your feedback and sharing your personal journey. If there’s one practice to have daily, forgiveness sounds like a great one to have. So much of our personal development and growth can advance if we forgive. Your perspective on forgiving others – others are not always doing their best or having their best moments – is a refreshing way to forgive easily and regularly.

  18. Hi Vishnu,

    Sorry for stopping by late and not being around lately as I was just a little busy travelling with my family and kids on our yearly vacation, though I’m glad am here now 🙂

    Ah…I can so well understand the courage it must have taken you to even step ahead and think of forgiveness, and then to move over to really take this brave step of forgiving. I know it’s not easy, but when you realize things you get to know that life is really so very short to keep grudges. More so, being parents they have their ways and rights of expressing their feelings, which we being kids have to learn to accept. Yes, we do feel bad about it, but once we realize that there’s going to be no outcome of holding such feelings, we learn to let go and forgive. It only helps us and makes us feel better, lighter, and that’s how we move on in life.

    I wonder though that did you eventually meet your parents, and what were their reactions. I’m sure the clouds must’ve cleared and everything went off well. 🙂

    Thanks for sharing more of you with us. Have a nice week ahead 🙂

    1. Thanks for your comment and for stopping by, Harleena. Hope you had a good vacation.

      Yes, it did take some courage to make the journey and to make the journey to forgiveness. Putting things in perspective, like life’s short, changes our perspective and allows us to forgive more.

      I’d love to tell you what happened but going to leave things at a cliff-hanger for a follow up post:)

  19. It’s weird that I’ve been hearing so much on forgiveness lately. One of the more interesting things I’ve heard is about the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness, as an act of letting go of your anger, is possible in every situation and should be done by everyone. Reconciliation, which is about repairing the relationship between two people and getting it to the level it was at before or even closer, is not. Even more surprising to hear was that reconciliation should NOT occur in every situation, as in between an abuser and his/her victim, or other unhealthy relationships (which makes sense.)

    The other great thing I heard about forgiveness and reconciliation: Reconciliation takes 2 people. Forgiveness only takes one (you): Anyone and everyone can forgive. And should.

    An observation on #6: Conditional forgiveness actually has a Biblical basis. The Lord’s Prayer specifically says you need to forgive if you want to be forgiven by God. (Matt. 6:12) and it’s the only part of the prayer that Jesus specifically goes back to and clarifies that forgiveness is indeed a 2-way street. (Matt. 6:14-15). I just thought that was interesting. 🙂

    1. Jammie – thanks for this insightful comment and sharing the concept of reconciliation as well. Yeah, there are probably situations when people should forgive but not reconcile, especially the one you describe. Also, glad you brought up Matthew here and the implications of forgiveness. And I like the Biblical mandate (given to Peter) to forgive someone not just 7 times but 70 x 7 times.

      Glad it’s a 2 way street – yet, another reason to forgive others for the small trespasses they commit against us.

  20. Vishnu… I love you man!

    Every time I read one of your posts, I just want to hug you.

    You reminded me in this one, that it used to be a weekly, and sometimes nightly ritual for me to ask “Who do I need to forgive today?” That must of went on for a couple of years before it dawned on me, that I’d never ended up on the list….

    It’s surprises me what a struggle that’s been on and off since.

    For me it’s much easier to forgive other people.

    Thanks for this one man.

    1. Tim, it feels weird saying this (lol) but I love you too!

      Yeah, forgiving ourselves is probably just as hard as forgiving others. Often, we ourselves don’t think we are worthy enough to forgive ourselves. That forgiveness exercise is a powerful one which allows you to practice forgiveness daily. Glad you enjoyed it and good work on forgiving yourself and others.

  21. Hi Vishnu,

    This is my first visit here and I am deeply touched by the openness with which you have written about your forgiveness journey. As a spiritual seeker, I find the ability to forgive as intrinsic to evolving better in spiritual practices and at the material level too. Ultimately, forgiveness is for one self than for any one else. Personally, for me, it does take time, sometimes years, though I try very hard to start the process. I still have a long way to go but your post has been an inspirational starting point. So, thanks for writing this and hope you write from the heart and not from the head, as many are prone to do. God bless you.

    1. Swapna, nice to meet you and thanks for the feedback. It does take time, sometimes years that’s why even setting the intention to forgive is a a good place to start. I’m glad you found inspiration in my story. I received a lot of inspiration and guidance to forgive from Galen. Thank you for the kind words and looking forward to keeping in touch.

  22. Dear Vishnu, my friend, I always knew you are a bigger and better person than me but I didn’t know why until I read this post (to which with your permission I also like to link from my new blog post). I am amazed that you forgave them. I have to tell you I am not ready to forgive my mother – we stopped talking Jan 1st 2013 and I never in my whole life thought I’d be the kind of daughter to utter such a thing, that I’ve not spoken to her or allowed her in my life for months, but parents come to surprise us and one day we see clearly that their advice is sometimes out of pure self-interest not out of pure love for even their own children. You: Indian, me: Iranian. That same conversation would have ensued had it been about a divorce or separation in my case but it wasn’t – I am just saying it to comfort you that you are not alone and that if we were closer friends, I would have supported you to never speak to them again. I am not convinced yet with the power of forgiveness, I know that having her back in my life will just aggravate me but I am also aware that I am not as wise as i like to be someday – so in all likelihood, my friend, you did the right thing and I am very proud of you for your tough choice. May your heart be at peace now, and may mine fine its own peace!

    1. Farnoosh- thanks so much for your feedback (and your visit and the link). I think a lot of times our parents’ interest are in their own self-interest and not ours. LOL That’s why it makes it even harder to forgive. And I’m glad you would have been there to support my decision not to forgive.

      The journey to forgiveness was a long and difficult one and took a couple of years. But now, about 6 months later, I realize it was probably one of the best decisions in my life. For all the reasons I mentioned plus the fact that life is short, plus the fact that parents know not what they do always, plus the fact that they grew up with their own cultural and societal pressures and baggage, helped start the forgiveness process. And I think one of the main points and realizations which helped me get to forgiveness was realizing it was lifting a big weight off my own shoulders. Forgiveness was more for me than for them. And not forgiving them was continuing the pain they initially caused. And not forgiving was sapping up my energy and focus in life on their wrongdoings and my anger towards them.

      Anyway, for all these reasons and more, forgiveness helped. It has been a life changer. So having said all that, I definitely know where you are and I wish you find your own path to peace and maybe forgiveness:) down the road. Thanks again Farnoosh for your comment and support.

      1. Can’t argue with a single word you said and continue to be amazed by what a great friend and wise person you are, Vishnu. As you know I had my awful awful car accident today and it is making me reflect on everything. Thanks for your wonderful words.

  23. I think I almost cried after reading this. I had a hard time forgiving some over and over again. The minute I set out to do it, I met my husband shortly after. Forgiving means making room for more awesome things in your life. I also believe it makes you look more beautiful/handsome. At least, that’s what I’d like to think 😉

    1. Hey Sarah – wonderful story. Looks like even an intention to forgive can bring good things into your life. Forgiveness does seem to enhance internal and external beauty – probably because the act of forgiving is rooted in love.

  24. Nice article Vishnu, this was the topic I chose among many other in your blog as this is what I need now.

    I am in the same boat as yours, am trying to forgive my ex husband as he had been torturing me from the day I have married and still is torturing without signing the papers, my parents for having not understood me and not choosing right partner for me, my friends who were mean and are still mean to me…

    I am still struggling to forgive all the above mentioned people… I was not ready to forgive anyone until I read your article, as mentioned atleast I will try to start the process of forgiveness, I know its going to take a while… but I’ll keep trying.

    1. Hey Sridevi, Thanks for dropping by and your comment. I can definitely relate to your comment and the struggle to forgive all who have all who have hurt you.

      I think the 6 tips I mentioned in the post helped me forgive. Also, some of the reasons to forgive I mentioned in the reply to Farnoosh.

      We each have to go through our own journey to forgiveness. I think I’m going to have to write a follow up post to this one on how forgiveness internally helped change and release a lot of external circumstances. I’m not sure why things work this way but when I forgave, all external conditions and people started improving.

      I think the sooner we forgive, the quicker we forgive, the more we forgive, the more unconditional we forgive, the quicker our life and outside circumstances improves.

      Yes, keep trying – you’ve already started by setting the intention:)

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