It was our final trip together.
We were trying to save our marriage in Paris.
Think romantic walks along the Seine river, hand-holding in the Louvre museum or late night frolicking at the Eifel Tower.
Sad to report, that was the trip of my dreams but not the trip of what happened.
It was a wonderful trip but the separation between the two of us was thick in the air.
We didn’t speak at times.
We disagreed about what we wanted to see.
And had pent up anger towards each which was thicker than a cup of café au lait.
It was painful and heartbreaking.
It was months before our divorce was finalized in 2011.
Fast forward to today where I’ve moved to Asia and writing to you from India.
This week, I write to you from Kerala.
Someone called this God’s country.
Everything they say about Kerala is true.
I’m here for a bit doing more writing, finishing books and coaching people who are recovering from their own breakups or divorces.
This trip is so different than the last.
Early morning writing and walking.
Meditating and socializing with people visiting from around the world.
Watching the sunset in the evening.
What the heck, I’m thinking to myself.
How did I end up here?
This is what I would call my dream life.
Working and living the way I want to.
It took me awhile to get here and I’m still pursuing this dream that I had but I’m telling you that this life would have never been possible if I was still unhappily married.
Here’s where I want to get real with you.
Your life felt like it ended when your marriage or long-term relationship did.
You may never have had the opportunity in life to pursue your dreams.
You may never have had a chance to ask yourself what it is you want and how it is you want to live your life.
So much of your life was by default.
The beauty of things coming crashing down is that it clears the path.
It gets rid of all the social constructs, obligations, fears and expectations.
It gives you courage, resiliency and a knowing that you can get through anything or achieve anything.
If you lived a normal life without much challenge or adversity, you couldn’t forge ahead with your dreams.
Those of us who have been through crap know that we can do whatever we want.
We are survivors.
If we can go to hell and back, we can definitely follow our dreams.
So, let’s start today with what it is you want.
Have you given yourself permission to ask yourself what it is you want out of life?
We are here in another new year.
If you feel like you’re not living the life you want, it’s time to ask yourself the easy and hard questions.
What do I want to do with my life?
How can I find meaning and purpose?
How can I create the life I want to live?
If you haven’t asked yourself these questions, let me prompt you.
I’m coaching people this month to uncover what it is they want.
The session lasts about an hour. You can get details here.
Stop dreaming about living your dream life and start making your dream life a reality.
It’s no longer time to play small.
You know what you’re capable of because you’ve survived the worst of it.
I want to ask you what your vision for your life is – read more about my coaching here.
Start the year off right with a life direction coaching session. It’s the first step to launching the life you want to live.