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If You Feel Like You’re Going to Be Alone Forever After a Breakup

The first and most common thought that strikes us after a life-shaking breakup is that you’re going to be alone the rest of your life.

You believe that because one person rejected you or one person ended the relationship with you, then everyone is going to have the same reaction to you.

You may feel like there’s something fundamentally flawed with you.

Your ex didn’t want you. Or you ex cheated on you. Or your ex didn’t want to continue the marriage with you.

Whatever happened in the past, you are putting too much emphasis on it.

I believed that because my marriage ended and our relationship ended, I would never be able to find someone again. I believed that I would be alone forever after the breakup.

I put so much emphasis and attention on my ex, believing she was the only person who could love me or complete me.

I’ve since realized that simply isn’t true but we believe it at the time of our breakup.

When our mind is preoccupied with rejection and self-sabotage, it tends to spiral into this place of sadness and negativity.

Here are five reminders if considering love after a breakup.

1. There are plenty of people out there for you.

You just believe that there’s no one out there or worse, all the good people are taken. They’re not.

You’re either not meeting enough people or you’re meeting people in the wrong places.

There are so many people out there from your neighbor to your people on your online apps.

It’s not the people on the other end that are missing.

You may not be trying very hard or at all.

You may have a pattern of chasing the wrong people who are not meant for you.

There are plenty of people out there who are suitable for you.

Your job is to get better at filtering and discernment to figure out who is right for you.

2. You attract who you are.

Instead of focusing all your time on dating and trying to meet the right person, consider the possibility that you might have some work to do.

Maybe you’re meeting all the right people but….

you’re pushing them away because you’re afraid of intimacy.

you run when you notice that someone is open, healthy and available.

you keep self-sabotaging so people will run away from you.

How about doing a little less work on finding the right person and a little more work on becoming the right person for your person?

3. Your beliefs affect your outcome

Just like everything else in life, the way you think about something affects the outcome.

If you truly believe there’s no one out there for you, there’s seriously something wrong with you and you will be alone the rest of your life, you are likely right.

If you believe that you had to go through the wrong relationships to find the right relationship, you are likely right as well.

You get to choose your thoughts and your outcomes. You get to choose your beliefs.

You have more power than you believe you do.

4. You can’t be found if you’re hiding.

If you’re not putting yourself out there and you’re not trying to found, you’re succeeding!

Your prince is not going to come looking for you in the woods.

Help him out a little and put up a smoke signal so you can be found.

If you think you’re putting yourself out there but still not being found, trust me, you’re not.

We all think we’re doing enough but simply uploading your photo on a dating app is hardly trying.

Like anything else we want in life, relationships take work and effort.

It takes other people knowing you exist.

5. Be happy first.

You believe you’re going to be happy when you find love.


You’re likely going to be as happy as you are now so why not get happy now.

Don’t put your happiness into the hands of your future partner or your love life!

Cultivate your own happiness.

Be happy today.

Own your happiness.

It becomes much easier for love to find you when you’re in a happy place.

If you still feel like you’re going to be alone forever after your breakup, you have no choice but an encouraging read from yours truly. Pick up my book, Does True Love Exist? today.

That One Time I Fell In Love With My Instagram Crush and the Case For Love

That One Time I Fell In Love With My Instagram Crush and the Case For Love

“may love find you. even. when you are specifically. strategically. hiding from it.” Nayyirah Wahid 

She liked my quote about finding love again.

I liked her post about her recent trip.

The exchange of heart-shaped likes filled our Instagram pages.

This was the beginning of a modern romance.

She was on a mission to travel the world and said she was an independent woman.

She also had 10,000 followers on Instagram!

I’ve never had had hundreds of Instagram crushes.

Well, I’ve had plenty of Instagram crushes but I’ve never actually engaged with an Instagram crush.

What was so intoxicating here was not only was she beautiful and from the homeland but she was spiritual and loved helping people.

A match made in Instagram heaven.

We exchanged messages and continued to become each other’s Insta fans until I decided it was time to share my feelings for her.

How do you tell someone you like them?

Normal people, “Hey, you’re cool and we should talk more to see if we have more in common?”


“Hey, the universe has parted ways, the divine has awakened and destiny has called upon me to initiate this conversation. We have known each other for life times and we must speak to discuss our future marriage, where will live and how many kids we will have together.”

This is a fantastic first message, if I do say so myself.

Also, a good way to never hear from her again.

I turned the woman I thought I had been waiting a lifetime for into a woman I would never hear from again.

The love of my life had gone silent on Instagram.

We were both on the Titanic when she just pushed me off the ship into the stormy waters to find myself, to fall into an emotional thunderstorm and to frantically search for a rescue boat.

Now, what’s the moral of this story?

Well, first, don’t fall for Instagram influencers on the internet.

(Oh random – have we connected on Instagram? Let’s connect on Instagram here – you could be the next internet crush I fall in love with)

But here’s the bigger point here.


We rise in love and we fall in love.

This mini modern romance was not of much consequence. It was likely a romance in my mind than in reality. Maybe she didn’t even think twice about me before I sent her an essay professing my love to her.

Yet those real romances that we have gone through in our lives and have fallen hard in are like those violent thunderstorms that took down the Titanic.

When a relationship or the marriage hits the sea floor, you’re likely dead. Or if alive, bruised, battered and can’t breathe by the time you get your head above water.

You don’t need a reinvention.

You need a resuscitation.

You don’t need a recovery.

You need a revival.

The worst breakups take us down and put us out for the count.

You will never feel like getting into the boxing ring of life again after one knockout.

You will never feel like dating again after one hard-fought, knock-down, dragged down breakup.

Please dear God never torment me and try to kill me like this again.

Yet, I am here with a message for you on why you need to get the heck up and give love another try.

No matter how much you were hurt and no matter how badly the other person did you wrong, I want you to know that it is worth giving love another shot.

As much as you have suffered in love, fell in love, drowned in love, knocked down in love, died in love, be willing to give love another chance.

The love that you desire is waiting for you on the other side of the love that destroyed you.

Your job is to heal the wound, forgive the past, rebuild your self-worth, find yourself and show up for love again because love is worth it.

Love will help you become the person that you were meant to be.

Love will help you expand and grow as a person.

Love will help bring you connection, joy, affection and intimacy.

Love will help break down your barriers of what you believe to be possible and break down the walls that are keeping you from fully experiencing life.

Even if love doesn’t show up, keep going in love because I am convinced that the journey to love is the path to love. You are not going to get to the final destination in love until you go through all the stops along the way.

Keep moving forward in love, keep falling down in love, keep getting up in love.

A broken heart is an open heart.

Falling down is an opportunity to rise up.

What’s possible is out there if you can stay focused on the path and stay open to the possibilities.

You and I are on a love journey.

Keep going.

If you haven’t even started, start.

If you haven’t considered the possibility yet, be open to it.

Don’t swear off love because that one cosmic relationship you were in devastated you.

If you don’t know where to start, reach out to me for some support in this process. I’m going to be unveiling some coaching options soon that will help you on this journey to overcoming heartbreak.

In the meantime, check  out this book that I wrote. It’s a good first step to finding love, Does True Love Exist? The short answer is yes but love requires your participation.