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The Sacredness of Brokenness

The Sacredness of Brokenness


Some of the most difficult times in my life were after my marriage ended. Everything from getting out of bed and getting to work was hard. It was so shell-shocking and devastating that I didn’t know how to process it.

Without question, this was the most difficult period that I’ve ever experienced in my life. My marriage unraveled, I lost the place that I was living in, we lost the house we had, I left the job that I had and I ended up leaving the state that I was living in and moving back to California.

In one short 6 month period, my life had turned completely upside down and I was more broken than I ever was in my life. I was mentally a wreck, I was emotionally tormented and spiritually broken. Nothing so big had gone so wrong in my life.

Until this point, it had all been smooth sailing: a good education, a career as a lawyer, an early marriage to a woman I loved, and us purchasing a house together. We had so many dreams and things we wanted to do in life together. All of it just vanished when our relationship fell apart and the divorce papers were signed.

How to cope with the unimaginable? 

I really did not know how I got through that period in my life. I honestly felt like I died and I was a ghost in the world. My ghostly body was going to work, going to yoga, and preparing food to eat. My soul was stuck deep underground and refused to see the light of day.

There was no future. There was no hope. There was no happiness. Or joy.

I shut myself off to the world around me. I stopped talking to all of the people in my life including my family, colleagues and friends.

I questioned the meaning of life and what was the point of it all.

This incident broke my happy-go-lucky spirit and shattered my soul into a million pieces. I was floating around in the world, not sure how to function as a human anymore.

The light in this broken place 

It was in this depth of despair when everything had fallen apart that everything about me unraveled. Everything that I had known to be true was no longer true. This was the rock bottom moment in my life.

And it was in this moment that something special came about that I want to share with you if you’re in this moment in your life. When all of the walls in your life have fallen apart and when my human existence had cracked, I found myself in a sacred place.

This was a place of brokenness and nothingness.

I was lightly treading on this place where I nothing and knew no one. It was in this dark and lonely place that I discovered myself for the first time.

All of the joy and happiness had left. All of the people and love had left. All of the normalcy and familiarity had left. All that remained was me, myself and I.

The sacredness of brokenness 

It was in this place where I knew no one and nothing that I created a temple for myself. This was when I became intimately familiar with the real me. The external trappings fell aside and I got to meet the real “Vishnu”.

This was the first proper introduction to who I was as a person. My life had become so shaken up that I was left to literally find myself and get to know this person. I found out about my hurts, my traumas, my pains. I started earnestly discovering who this person was, what he was like, and what he wanted.

In this soulful place is where I was able to see the broken parts. It was in this sacred place where I was able to work on healing the broken heart.

In retrospect, this place was not a welcoming or familiar place. It was dark, alone, and terrifying. I was a miserable wreck during this process but I had no choice. There was nothing else to hold onto. I had no choice but to see myself and work on myself which is what I started doing from that day onward.

The sacred work in front of you 

Not everyone will be given this sacred space or get to visit this place you might find yourself in. Not everyone will have everything taken away from them as their life deteriorates completely.

If you’re reading this, you may be one of the few people who have the honor and privilege of being here in this dark, lonely and unsettling place.

Yet, it’s right here where you have no boundaries, no railings, and no familiarity that you can begin doing the work of healing, growing and becoming familiar with who you are.

It’s in this place of brokenness you can align with the divine. It’s in this place you can let the light in. It’s in this place that you can become fully who you were meant to be.

There are no distractions or noise here. Just you, the universe, your soul, and the light.

Take a moment to put your hands together, bow and honor this space.

This may feel like the most broken place you’ve found yourself in but this is also where the healing begins.

This space here is your temple.

This is where the divine can be found.

This is where the light enters you.

If you enjoyed this post, don’t forget to pick up my book, The Sacred Art of Letting Go here or the 10 Sacred Laws of Healing a Broken Heart here (affiliate link)

Before You Find Romance

Regardless of who loves you and validates you, you can’t invite romance into your life until this happens first.

Don’t believe the Hollywood hype and pop song lyrics You are not complete and whole simply because someone else loves you.  Click on the above video to watch.

For more on this topic, check out my books at the Amazon store here:

Love Yourself After Heartbreak

The Self-Romance Manifesto

7 Simple Personal Growth Lessons I’ve Learned In The Past 7 Years

7 Simple Personal Growth Lessons I’ve Learned In The Past 7 Years

As my life swirled out of control upon the end of my marriage, house and career, I fell into a state of hopelessness and despair. “What is the point of it all?” I asked myself. “What even matters?” I wondered. “Is there life after heartbreak and loss?” I pondered.

Getting out of bed was difficult. I found myself in tears more than I had at any point in my life. The tsunami of personal, emotional and financial failure was overwhelming! It was also my life’s greatest wake-up call.

Since that time 7 years ago, I’ve done everything I can to regain a grip on my life. After reading hundreds of books; reflecting for hundreds of hours with therapists, coaches and healers; writing thousands of words and implementing dozens of life hacks, here’s what I’ve discovered.

Although it came with much pain, suffering and tears, I’ve distilled my life’s biggest learnings into these 7 lessons.

These are 7 simple personal growth lessons I’ve learned in the past 7 years.

1. The insides matter more than the outsides.

We spend almost all our younger lives focused on building our careers and providing for ourselves as adults. We are busy either making money or learning a trade to make us money. There’s nothing wrong with being able to support ourselves but this focus does ignore everything else that matters. Professional and financial success matter but how about emotional resiliency, interpersonal relationships and self-worth? The latter matter much more but we don’t spend any time developing these qualities.

I’ve learned that the insides matter more; this is your operating system that determines the quality of your life.

Learning to be in touch with your emotions, to pick yourself up after falling and to develop healthy relationships with people is what matters for long-term happiness and success.

2. Habits trump dreams.

People tell you to have dreams and follow them. You revisit your dreams during the new year and maybe a couple other times in January. You set some goals and intention for the year but all of this quickly falls away. People tell you to visualize your dreams and write them down.

None of this is effective.

If you truly want to achieve your dreams, you must focus on daily habits. Daily habits are vehicles that will move you closer to your dreams. A simple check-off of daily tasks you accomplish over a long period of time will get you much closer to your dreams than will audacious dreams.

Small, doable habits you accomplish every day beat tricky and complicated habits you have no motivation for.

3. Less is more.

We fill our lives with so much crap. We look for better housing, better jobs, better relationships, better vacations, better cars, better friends, better partners, better things.

We spend all our time bringing more into our lives.

However, I’ve found that the opposite is true for personal growth.

You must get rid of the stuff in your life. You must lower the number of people filling your life. You must let go of the career or job that is overwhelming you.

Create space to breathe.

Fill your life with what truly matters to you.

4. Busyness is over-rated.

Along the same lines, people in the West are addicted to staying busy.

You’re too busy to take care of yourself, too busy for your health, too busy for your sanity.

People take pride in filling their schedules and lives to the brim. Busyness isn’t cool.

Busyness is for people running on the treadmill of social pressures and pursuing external achievements.

Create more time for yourself so you can do what you really want to do. Don’t be a slave to time.

5. Today matters more than yesterday.

After failure and loss, we want to stay in the past.

You know why?

Because that’s where we are most comfortable.

It’s like knowing the end of a movie. You would rather watch or be in a movie whose ending you know rather than be in a movie you have no clue about.

We would rather be comfortable in the certainty of our past than venture out into an unknown future.

However, this comes at the expense of our lives today.

If you live looking backwards, you’re robbing yourself of what today holds. Live for today; appreciate what’s in front of you. Be mindful of what you’re experiencing and imagine today is the only day you have left.

Live more, reminisce less.

6. Intuition and values are your GPS.

We spend much of our lives focusing on what other people think of us.

I did this for the longest time … until my life fell apart.

When I had nothing else to lose and everyone thought I was heading down the wrong path, I gave up on what everyone thought.

As the black sheep of any community or culture, you have tools to guide you – tools that you never rely on.

Most of your life, people have used loud noises and chatter to drown out your intuition.

You’ve never learned that your values rule your life.

Spend some time getting a better understanding of your gut feeling, your intuition.

How do you listen to it? How does it speak to you?

Also, discover what your values are.

What are your life priorities? What matters to you? How do you find meaning?

Spend the rest of your days both aligning with your intuition and making decisions according to your values.

7. You don’t have to wait to be happy.

You don’t have to achieve x, y, z to be happy.

You don’t have to hit a certain career point or find that special someone to be happy.

Often, we wait our entire lives to be happy. Why not be happy today?

I’ve concluded that happy is as happy does.

You don’t have to wait some day for happiness. Start figuring out what makes you happy today and do that. To be happy, you don’t have to move, marry, get a raise, succeed in your business or get that degree.

Look for the simple pleasures in life that trigger happiness in you; a walk, a pet, a phone call, a visit with a friend, a date, a movie, giving back, cooking your favorite dish, picking up a new hobby.

Do whatever lights your soul on a daily basis.

Schedule it to get daily shots of happiness.

For more personal growth lessons and insights, check out my books at the Amazon store here.

18 Uplifting Quotes to Keep Going During Difficult Times

18 Uplifting Quotes to Keep Going During Difficult Times


Do you need a boost of uplifting quotes after life’s stumbles and falls?

When you’re facing your darkest hours and your most difficult times, remember better days are ahead. Here at 18 uplifting quotes to help you move forward in life when the future seems bleak and the going gets tough.

18 uplifting quotes to inspire you to keep going:

1. “You may encounter many defeats but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” Maya Angelou

2. “When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” Haruki Murakami

3. “Once you choose hope, anything is possible.” Christopher Reeve

4. “In the middle of every difficulty lies an opportunity.” Albert Einstein

5. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” Winston Churchill

6. “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Winston Churchill

7. “The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.” Chinese Proverb

8. “Failure is a detour, not a dead-end street.” Zig Ziglar

9. “Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.” Oprah Winfrey

10. “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” Robert F. Kennedy

uplifting quotes

11. “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” Marilyn Monroe

12. “We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” E.M. Forster

13. “Arrange whatever pieces come your way.” Virginia Woolf

14. “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Maria Robinson

15. “Defeat is simply a signal to press forward.” Hellen Keller

16. “We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.” Kenji Miyazawa

17. “The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” Viktor E. Frankl

18. “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” C.S. Lewis

If you enjoyed these uplifting quotes, please share these 18 uplifting quotes on Twitter, Google+ and Facebook.

Photo credit Unsplash

Don’t Just Show Up: Be a Linchpin & Stand Out

Don’t Just Show Up: Be a Linchpin & Stand Out


“Wait! Are you saying that I have to stop following instructions and start being an artist? Someone who dreams up new ideas and makes them real? Someone who finds new ways to interact, new pathways to deliver emotion, new ways to connect? Someone who acts like a human, not a cog? Me? YES!” Linchpin, by Seth Godin

You have two choices.

1) Get a job, earn a salary, get health insurance and strive for security; or

2) Do work you enjoy, make a difference and unlock the genius you’ve been hiding.

Are you choosing “conventional”? Or “revolutionary”?

Showing up or standing out?

Following the rules or creating the rules?

One book that has inspired me and altered the course of my life is Seth Godin’s Linchpin. Although the book came out in 2010 and I read it only a couple of years ago, I wanted to take a moment to share its insights with you.
Will this book change your life the way it changed mine?

In Linchpin, Seth gives you a choice between two options: either to be a cog in the giant industrial machine, just one small part that makes the machine run; or to stand out and become a linchpin, an essential and crucial piece that’s irreplaceable.

You can be a worker. Or an artist.

Your two choices.

Seth equates today’s white collar workers to factory workers.

“It’s factory work because it’s planned, controlled, and measured. It’s factory work because you can optimize for productivity. These workers know what they are going to do all day – and it’s still morning.”

But it doesn’t end there. Today “machines have replaced those workers. Worse, much worse, is that competitive pressures (and greed) have encouraged most organizations to turn their workers into machines,” Seth writes. “If we can measure it, we can do it faster. If we can put it in a manual, we can outsource it. If we can outsource it, we can get it cheaper…”

Seth’s premise in Linchpin is that you should challenge the working world of today – refuse to be a cog in the machine. Refuse to simply show up and stick it out.

“The only way to succeed is to be remarkable, to be talked about,” Seth writes.

Your new role in the world is to “be remarkable. Be generous. Create art. Make judgment calls. Connect people and ideas.”

Be impossibly good at your job. Be more human, less machine.

“When you’re not a cog in a machine, an easily replaceable commodity, you’ll get paid what you’re worth. Which is more.”

Less busy work. More art.

Fewer directions. More inspiration.

Less about what you get. More about what you can give.

How do you stand out and become irreplaceable in the world?

1) Be an artist.

Seth talks about how artists are indispensable linchpins.

“Art is scarce; scarcity creates value,” he writes.

And by no means is he implying that you need to start painting and creating sculptures before your next business endeavor.

“Art isn’t only a painting. Art is anything that’s creative, passionate, and personal. And great art resonates with the viewer, not only with the creator.”

Art is a personal gift that changes the recipient. The medium doesn’t matter. The intent does.

You can create art not by singing a song or writing poetry. You can create art by affecting someone, inspiring someone, creating a change in others.

You become an artist when you find a new way to do things. You’re an artist when you create joy or pleasure for another person. You’re an artist when you do something original.

And you’re doing all these things not for money, but for the sake of giving and changing people.

“The reason you might choose to embrace the artist within you now is that this is the path to (cue the ironic music) security. When it is time for layoffs, the safest job belongs to the artist, the linchpin, the one who can’t be easily outsourced or replaced,” writes Seth.

And if you’re wondering, you don’t have to quit your job to do this. You can be creative, original, inspiring and generous in the very joy you’re currently experiencing. You can care and you can make an impact on someone by changing the way you think about your work.

“Your art is the act of taking personal responsibility, challenging the status quo, and changing people.”

2) Give away your art.

Now is not the time to think that Seth Godin wants you to become a pauper and live on the streets, selling your watercolor artwork.

“When art is created solely to be sold, it’s only a commodity. A key element for the artist is the act of giving the art to someone in the tribe,” Seth writes.

When you give away something you care about because of love, care or inspiration, you are offering something that cannot be adequately repaid – and that’s okay. You deliver so much value that people have no choice but to be grateful for and appreciative of your art.

Your smile, your act of courtesy, your thoughtful gesture, your connection with someone in the same industry, your introducing that person to a wine she’ll love – all are small examples of gifts that make you invaluable. Indispensable.

Your small acts of art, given generously, make you a linchpin.

Don’t do it for the money, but for the love of it and for the sake of changing people’s lives. The money will come.

Seth challenges us to give not because we want to receive, but simply as an act of love.

3) Be unique.

Seth relays the stories of Louis Vuitton, Hermes and other French artisans who embraced handmade luxury goods that took time and care to produce.

“Mechanizing and cheapening the process would have made it easy for others to copy. Relying on humanity made it difficult – it made the work done in France scarce, and scarcity creates value.”

Don’t go for the easiest or the cheapest route.

Whatever situation you’re in, ask yourself, “What would the artist do here?” How can you make something special or different to improve the final product? How do you inspire and make your customer’s experience stand out?

4) Raise the bar.

“The problem with meeting expectations is that it’s not remarkable. It won’t change the recipient of the work, and it’s easy to emulate (which makes you easy to replace).”

Choose to be remarkable instead, Seth preaches. In fact, if you can’t be remarkable or exceptional in what you’re doing, don’t do it at all.

Stay away from humdrum, average and already been done. What is the game changer? What can you do that is art?

What can you do that will change someone’s life?

You can do something exceptional as a courtroom lawyer or as a telephone receptionist.

Raise the roof if you have to.

5) Become an expert to question how things are done.

“Expertise gives you enough insight to reinvent what everyone else assumes is the truth,” Seth writes.

If you understand better than anyone else the products you’re working on or the topic you’re writing about, you’ll have more breakthroughs and big ideas.

Mastering a subject or a field allows you to do something special in that field. The better you know something, the more likely you’ll know what’s missing, what doesn’t work or how to make something better.

The more you know, the greater your ability to make meaningful changes.

6) Maintain empathy and engagement.

You’re not paid to care, but you’re freely able to do so.

You don’t have to talk to anyone, but doing so can change someone’s day or improve someone’s life.

Can you look for ways to help people and improve the situation? Can you think about the small things that you can do to show you care?

Can these things be as simple as a smile or a “How are you?”

Can kindness, generosity and common courtesy be art? I’d venture to say, yes!!

7) Break the rules.

The easy thing to do is to learn the rules and follow them. There are rule books, policy manuals and employee handbooks. There are instructions that tell you what to do, and bosses who tell you how to do it.

Can you do it differently even if it means bending the rules?

Can you find a more effective solution? A more creative one? A solution that delivers more value to the people you’re serving?

Are you willing to step on toes to introduce an unexpected solution, or go against the usual way of doing things so that you stand out?

Yes, you might be disciplined or fired. But in Seth’s world, the linchpin says, “If I lean enough, it’s okay if I get fired, because I’ll have demonstrated my value to the marketplace. If the rules are the only thing between me and becoming indispensable, I don’t need the rules.”

Following the rules? Or breaking them and creating new ones?

8) Stay passionate.

Artists are passionate about their jobs and passionate about doing important work that gives a gift to others.

Seth writes that “transferring your passion to your job is far easier than finding a job that happens to match your passion.”

Interesting, and contrary to what we’ve been told. It may be the one point I slightly disagree with Seth on.

It may be easier to transfer your passion to your job, but it’s more fulfilling and satisfying to search for your purpose in the world and pursue that thing you were made to do.

Getting passionate about something you’re not interested in is more difficult, I’d argue, than finding what makes you jump out of bed in the morning.

But can you get passionate about aspects or parts of a job you’re already doing?

I’d say, either way, the bottom line is to do work that inspires passion. Either find a new job or discover what you’re passionate about in the work you’re doing.

9) Ship.

In Seth’s world, “ship means hitting the publish button on your blog, showing a presentation to the sales team, answering the phone, selling the muffins, sending out your references.”

Shipping is getting it done. It’s getting the product out the door. Delivering your project to the computer.

If you’re having trouble completing something, you’re likely facing resistance. The solution a la Seth: “Call its bluff, ship always, and then change the world.”

As a linchpin, confront your inner fears and face the resistance you feel.

Your product may not be perfect, but it’s better to get something out the door.

“Shipping something out the door, doing it regularly, without hassle, emergency, or fear – this is a rare skill, something that makes you indispensable,” Seth concludes.

10) Break through the resistance.

People may not like your ideas.

You might fail.

You might be laughed at or fired.

Some of these fears and doubts will stand between you and your work.

The resistance, Seth writes, seeks comfort or wants to hide. Seth encourages you to get uncomfortable when facing resistance.

When you’re feeling uncomfortable, “you’re doing something that others were unlikely to do, because they’re hiding out in the comfortable zone.”

The only solution to breaking through the resistance, Seth tells us, “is to call all the bluffs at once, to tolerate no rational irrational reason to hold back on your art. The only solution is to start today, to start now, and to ship.”
Finally, you may be wondering what art to make and what gifts to share with the world around you.

That question is the “crux of it. Once you commit to being an artist, the question is an obvious one. The answer is the secret to your success. You must make a map. Not someone else. You.”

Linchpin can change your life if you adopt the revolution that Seth is asking you to lead. The power is not in society’s hands or your boss’s hands.

You’re the artist. You’re the linchpin and you can make it happen.

To purchase Linchpin, click here. For coaching to help you discover your art and become the linchpin of your life, click here.

Photo Credit @MarinadelCastell

The Wisdom of Your Inner Guide

The Wisdom of Your Inner Guide


You don’t have to win the argument with your inner critic; you have to step away from the conversation.” – Tara Mohr, Playing Big

You’re not ready.

You’re not good enough. Or pretty enough. Or likable enough. Or lovable enough.

You’re not the most competent person for the job.

Ahhh…the inner critic. Our doubter, our bully and often our own worst enemy.

It’s this inner voice that holds many of us back. And in Tara Mohr’s recent book, Playing Big, she acknowledges that this internal chatter holds most women back from “playing bigger” in their lives.

“The inner critic speaks up with more viciousness and volume when we are exposing ourselves to a real or perceived vulnerability – something that triggers a fear of embarrassment, rejection, failure or pain,” Mohr writes.

Mohr notes that the stakes are even higher for women. When you play big, you follow your calling and your dreams.
When you play bigger, you open yourself to criticism, rejection and vulgarity.

You’ve seen women in politics, business and entertainment who put themselves out there or take strong positions and consequently suffer grief at the hands of the press, social media and cable talk shows.

“Our own safety instinct seeks to protect us from that external criticism by spewing cruel self-criticisms (‘You aren’t ready for that, and you don’t know what you are talking about.’) that keep us from stretching into greater visibility and encountering those kinds of attacks,” Mohr notes.

Although the inner critic’s intentions (i.e., trying to protect you from danger and criticism) are noble, its voice does not reflect reality.

So how does Mohr suggest you deal with this misguided instinct that prevents you from playing bigger in your life?

How do you change your relationship with the inner critic?

1) Label it.

Mohr suggests calling out the inner critic when you hear its negativity and doubts. As you become aware of this inner voice, acknowledge it and label it. Say to yourself, “Oh, I’m hearing my inner critic right now.”

2) Separate yourself from the inner critic.

Whatever tantrums or chatter your inner critic is spewing, remind yourself that you and the inner critic are not the same. Separate yourself from it.

3) Create a character that represents your inner critic.

For many of us, the inner critic is a voice we have heard our whole lives – our mother or teacher or another disciplinarian. It’s the voice of the person who has put us down and doubted us.

Mohr suggests taking part in a playful but effective exercise in which you create a persona for your inner critic. “When you create a character with a name and visual image, you help yourself remember that the critic is not the core of you, it’s one voice, with its own personality and pathology.”

Draw, sketch and describe this inner critic. Turn it into a fictional person, cartoon or caricature of someone you know. Describe its voice, personality and typical phrases and patterns. Name the character and capture its voice in your mind.

Turn it into something funny because, as Mohr reminds us, this character usually says something ridiculous! It’s easier to notice your inner critic if it’s Peggy Bundy, Madea, Carmela Soprano or Sophia Petrillo. You’ll not only spot your critic quicker but get a good laugh at its expense as well.

4) What is your inner critic protecting you from?

Once you can identify your inner critic’s voice and picture your critic in your mind, you’ll be better able to communicate with it.
When your critic fills you with negativity, determine what exactly it’s protecting you from.

Ask your inner critic what it’s most afraid of at the moment. What is the danger it sees?

“Once you are in touch with the root of the critic’s intentions, respond with compassion towards the critic’s misguided attempt to keep you safe – usually from attack, embarrassment, isolation or failure.”

A great line you can use to acknowledge your inner critic but also inform it that you’re okay is to respond with, “Thanks so much for your input, but I’ve got this one covered.”

5) Turn down the volume.

Once you know what your inner critic’s voice sounds like, you’ll be more aware of the times when you hear it. If the voice is stronger and louder than usual, practice lowering it as though it comes with a volume dial.

Turn down the volume on your inner voice like you would with your cell phone or your television.

You’ll still hear the inner critic, but you can determine at which volume you’ll do so. Also, by imagining that your inner voice has volume control, you can differentiate between it and yourself.

Treat your inner voice with love, compassion and understanding.

You can’t win arguments with your inner critic and you can’t be angry with it either. Both strategies will simply fuel its fire.

The inner critic, as Mohr describes it, is a scared and fearful part of ourselves. It doesn’t respond well to anger, arguments or grandiosity.

Use the previous techniques in a loving and kind way. Treat your inner voice like you would an upset or unreasonable child.

Acknowledge it, comfort it, reduce its volume and thank it for guiding you. However, feel free to tell it that you’re in control of the situation.

Be aware that, at the end of the day, although its actions and words are misguided, your inner critic is only trying to protect you.

Your wise inner guide.

Not only can you compassionately deal with your inner voice, you can discover a more empowering, wise voice within yourself.

Mohr explains a concept she learned in her coach training school. This concept has students visualizing themselves in 20 years’ time. The students meet their future selves – the people they’ll be 20 years from today.

In the visualization, converse with your “future self,” asking it questions like, “What do I need to know to get from where I am today to where you are?” and “What has been most important about the past 20 years?”

When Mohr used this “future self” tool with her coaching clients, she found that people saw themselves as their best, most loving and wisest selves. When women reflected on their future selves, they always found the answers they were looking for.

“I began to call it the inner mentor because I found this voice functioned for women as a source of guidance, a voice women could draw on to develop a vision for their lives and careers, to make difficult decisions, to chart their paths,” Mohr says.

By giving women a tool that helped them determine how their future selves would approach a situation, Mohr ensured that the women she worked with would become confident and have a clear idea of what to say and do.

“Or a woman would come in feeling stuck about how to pursue her dream career, and by imagining what her future self would do, could immediately see a path forward that felt just right to her but that she hadn’t thought of before.”

Each of us, Mohr concludes, has this inner mentor.

Within yourself, you have the answers. You have the solutions and the wisdom you need to deal with the situations you’re confronting in your life.

You, too, can conduct Playing Big’s guided visualization and access this voice of perfect wisdom.

As Mohr says, simply asking, “What would my older self do?” won’t get you there. You must complete the visualization to access your wise inner voice.

Don’t let your inner critic hold you hostage. Fully embrace the voice of wisdom – your inner mentor.

This is just the beginning of what’s possible for you in terms of achieving a bigger life. The other eight chapters of Playing Big help you navigate fear, release your attachment to praise and criticism and help you recognize and respect your calling.

If you need a set of tools and practical solutions to help you take bigger steps in your personal and professional lives, pick up Playing Big today.

Photo Credit * Splitshire