I need you to keep this a secret for God’s sake!
Don’t ruin it for everyone else, please.
The more married people come to know about this, the more lives are going to be ruined.
This must only stay here between us.
Divorce is sad and hard.
One day you’re grocery shopping together, strategizing about the tofu wraps you’re going to prepare for your dinner guests at home.
The next day you lose your spouse, your friends, your home and all desire to eat tofu.
Other people are going to work and living their everyday lives but you want to curl up in bed, wrap yourself in a blanket and just permanently stay there.
Don’t we get 3 chances at life just like video games? Or 9 lives just like cats?
Anyway, I was in your shoes.
I thought it was over after divorce. I was looking forward to a peaceful life and old age.
This whole married thing and looking normal to the rest of society was fun and normal.
We had jobs and friends and family and vacation time and professional degrees.
What the heck else could we ever want?
I mean sure we could ask for real love, happiness and a life of our dreams.
Or we could have dinner, put the dishes away and go to bed so we could go to work the next day.
We could go to Ikea and Christmas parties.
We could send out annual greeting cards and post happy Facebook photos of ourselves even if we weren’t.
This continued until the divorce at which point it all came to a crashing halt.
And you know what it has been.
Divorce sucks. Sucked.
You’re alone much of the time.
Society doesn’t really see you.
Most people think there’s something wrong with you.
And everyone deeply desires you get married again so you can be happy and normal like the rest of everybody else.
Which brings me to this dirty little secret about divorce.
Since divorce, I’ve been living the best few years of my life.
- Every damn day, I live the life I want.
- I see who I want, I do what I want and live the way that I want.
- I don’t give a hoot about what anyone thinks about me or the way I’m living my life.
- All the negativity and toxicity has been out of my life.
I wake up happier knowing that my life is truly in my hands. I experience freedom, happiness and joy often.
I write and share content online for other people who were in the same situation as I was.
I write books for those people and encourage them to live their best lives.
I travel to parts of the world that I want to travel to but never had time to.
I go to events that I want to go to.
I meditate and chant mantras on the daily.
I slowed down my life and live a life of quiet existence doing whatever the heck I want.
From the outside in, my life looks like a total disaster and going all downhill.
People I intimately know are praying for my salvation and hoping I wake up soon and join the ranks of regular society: marriage, kids and real estate.
I continue to wake up every day looking forward to doing what I want: spirituality, writing and helping people.”
Who would have thought that I can live this life !?!
God dang, this is the best.
Screw marriage (the bad ones, of course).
Please don’t share this information with anyone else. Especially not with the married folk in your life.
Don’t ruin it for them!!
Don’t tell them that divorce might make them happier every day and give them the chance to create the life of their dreams.
Don’t tell them that divorce means peace, happiness and living life on your own terms. It might mean the best thing that has ever happened to them.
Don’t tell them that it means finding true compatibility and having a reals shot at love.
You and I must do our best to keep the gory details of divorce a secret.
Let us enjoy in secrecy while the rest of society is marching to prescribed notions of what a good life is.
Don’t share this blog post with any unhappily married people you know.
Don’t ruin it for us in this private, exclusive, happy divorcees club.
Don’t buy my books either if you’re contemplating divorce. If might push you over the edge and convince you to get one.
Or celebrate your post-divorce life like a champion.
Photo by Alina Kovalchuk