Despite my past, I am still a hopeful romantic.
All I care about is the heart of a man.
I want to know what inspires him and what he’s passionate about. I want to know the kind of person he is without anything but his mind and soul.
Of course, physical chemistry must be there, but it is his deeper core values and approach to life that attract me.
No one is perfect, but it is within that realm of honest presentation where I can respect him, admire him and ultimately fall in love with him.
I cannot help but be put off when I see a man hoping to learn these things. I want to “see” who he is before I actually see him.
Unfortunately, I have been trained to be on high alert. Finally, today I trust my intuition, so I can feel his energy and pick up on certain vibes.
I know there is the mask and there is what’s real. I need to see real. I need real.
I am patient, so I’m going to wait for it.
I have already fallen for the “persona” and I simply can’t risk doing so again.
I wouldn’t survive that again and I know I’m lucky that I survived it in the past. I now know that love shouldn’t hurt. I know that love is kind, open, forgiving, soulful and joyful.
Every one of us has a choice. We can be bitter, angry or resentful.
Or we can be kind, appreciative and respectful.
We can always choose love.
So here I am, choosing to let go of my past and allowing love to come in. I am letting go of the hurt and pain, the people in my life who didn’t love me.
I want to be swept off my feet with love.
I have always been the thinker, the dreamer; I have always chosen to believe in love. I’ve tried to act in the highest state of love.
It is the only way to fight darkness.
It is the only way to let go of the people who hurt me, let go of the heartbreak that broke me and to release my past.
You can choose love by:
- Imagining and envisioning the love you want. Remind yourself of painful and hurtful love and know that you’re looking for the opposite of that. Use contrasts to remind yourself of the love you want.
- Not believing the world’s definition of love. Or not believing the notion that love is dead. Focus on passion, romance and love. Cultivate it within you before you seek it in a partner.
- Living romance. With or without a partner, embrace and cultivate more romance in your life. Yes, I’m talking about chocolates, romantic love songs, poetry, massage oils, perfume, cologne, champagne, lingerie. Take trips together or take day trips alone! Bring romance into all areas of your life.
- Showing up as love to the people you love. Send the people you love a sweet text in the morning. Call the people you love and let them know how much they mean to you. Again, it doesn’t have to be a partner.
- Watching your thoughts and words. You can’t expect romance if you’re stuck in a pattern or mindset of judgment and resentment. You must work on affirming romance, embracing it in your mind and cultivating it in your words. Speak gently, kindly, lovingly.
I’m not naive anymore. I am well aware of what is out there, so I’m patient. I give someone the time to reveal themselves without all the pomp and circumstance.
I trust more in what I feel and I listen, really listen.
I refuse to give up my romantic nature, my art, my poetry, my spirituality, my way of life because I like to dwell in passion in light and love.
I don’t stay stuck in my past, but I will never forget, either.
The past doesn’t define me or the world around me and herein lies my victory. Survival might be about breathing and getting through the day.
But living is a choice – a dedication to wake up every day to embrace joy, passion and love.
For me, it’s also about being that
hopeless hopeful romantic.
I’m not going to settle. I’m going to wait for love to come ashore.
Hillary Barry is a Long Island New York-based reiki practioner at Beach Reiki. Her passion in life is to help raise the vibrational energy of the planet and heal one another through light work and love. You can follow her on Facebook here.