Did you have a rough upbringing?
Were the people who were supposed to have loved you the very same people who hurt you and tried to tear down your self-worth?
Did you grow up in an abusive home with absent or abusive parents?
Grow up in a home with a physically abusive father?
An emotionally abusive mother?
Alcoholic parents?
Detached parents? Cruel or neglectful?
You may have thought the past is the past and you could move on and live your life. Yet, you’re likely finding that your past doesn’t just disappear. Instead, you find yourself alone to carry the pain of your past.
This could come in the form of low self-esteem. An eating disorder. A generally non-motivated and uninspired life. Combative and unhealthy relationships you find yourself in as an adult.
You didn’t have the tools to resist your parents, stand up for yourself as a child or find shelter against unhealthy parenting but you do have tools now to move past the pain.
The healing is in the light.
Sunlight.
Candle light.
Your inner light.
Divine light.
You have the inner light to weather anything life has thrown at you. When you fully immerse yourself in your light, you can no longer suffer abuse. Others can no longer trample you. They can no longer tear you down.
Here are 8 steps towards embracing your light when you feel the darkness of hurt and pain.
1. Sit in the light of pain and loss.
Before you can heal, you must claim and sit in the pain and the loss. It’s perfectly ok to acknowledge the hurt you’ve experienced, cry over the sadness of the past and sit in the sorrow you feel.
You will never know light exists if you first didn’t realize you were in the darkness. The idea is to be aware of this place, not to live there.
2.Remind yourself that darkness and light are part of the same universe.
You’re not in an entirely different universe. You are simply in the darker parts for now. The light is on the other side. You will find your way there. Being aware of the darkness is the first step to seeing the light.
Having known the darkness, you’ll more easily find the light. Having known the darkness, you’ll have a greater appreciation of the light.
3.Allow your light to wash your wounds.
The light can fill whatever loss you’re carrying, whatever holes you have within you and whatever voids are in your life.
You can find the light within you. It’s the ounce of hope within. It’s the flicker of inner knowing. It’s the divine spirit you might have felt while observing the redwoods or watching the majestic skies at night. It’s the moment of inspiration, hope and aliveness you feel within yourself. It’s the belief in a new day and a new dawn.
If you’ve ever seen or felt this light within you, you know it’s there. You know you can cultivate it and allow it to shine into the spaces of hurt and loss.
4.Extend the light to those people who crushed your soul.
You may want to withhold your light from the very people who hurt you, robbed you of your childhood or crushed your soul. You may never want to give them your love, affection or attention.
The very people who are hurtful and abusive need the light the most. No, you don’t have to kiss and make up like nothing happened but you can set the intention within to forgive them for all the ways they hurt you. You can extend to them the light of understanding and empathy. You can acknowledge they, too, were hurting and didn’t know what they were doing.
5.Be in communion with the divine.
Your light may come from a divine experience or a spiritual place.
You walk into your house of worship and feel the light. You see the flickering flames of candles, oil lamps and sunlight coming in through the stained-glassed windows of the church.
Whatever your house of worship is, know you can cultivate the light from a divine and spiritual place. Go within, reflect, take inspiration and inspire.
Have a communication and relationship with the divine light you experience.
Walk out of the temple or church each time with the light burning a little stronger.
6.See the light in all.
The light fills the entire world. All you must do is sit and observe it. Even in the middle of the night or when all feels dark, light is there. It fills the earth.
If light is everywhere, the light must be in you. The light must be in the people who hurt you also. The light must be in places of darkness. Learn to see the light in the dark places. Look hard for the light when it’s especially dark. Look for the light in others.
Once you see the light in others, especially the people who hurt you, you can let go of the hurt and move on. The same fabric of light composes you and the people who hurt you. You will more easily forgive and realize your oneness with all.
7.Fill your soul with light.
Spend time each day filling your soul with light.
The light may come from work that brings you joy or work that serves other people.
The light may come from your spiritual practices, like contemplation or prayer.
You may feel the light while playing with your children, cooking a meal or taking a walk.
You may find the light when you choose kindness over hatred or empathy over anger.
When you see or feel the light within you, allow it to fill you. Sit with the light.
8.Extend compassion and empathy to all those around you.
Spread the light from within to all those around you.
Set an intention that the vibration of the light you’re feeling is spreading to those around you who are in pain and hurting.
Be an example in the light. Live your life in the light every day.
If you spiral into darkness one day, seek the light the next day.
Show others it’s acceptable to live in the light, even when you’re in pain.
You can fill the void and the loss with the light.
You can substitute the hardships and struggles with the light.
You can view the misdeeds of others in the light so your anger melts into compassion.
The light allows you to turn hostility to understanding. It helps you stop judging others and instead try to see their perspective.
The light releases grudges and fosters forgiveness.
The light can remove obstacles, cut through the pain, and heal you and those around you.
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