Imagine you wake up one day and meet your dreamy lover.
She’s smart. Funny. Interesting. Educated. High-achieving. Focused. Resilient. Easy to talk to. Down to earth.
Yes, I believe in the power of intention and the power of manifestation, but never have I seen it work so powerfully as it did late last year.
So, now that I’m “over” the whole divorce thing, healed from the past, fixed thanks to therapy, reconnected with spirit, and in alignment with myself, I felt that there was no better time to meet someone new.
Of course, most people meet someone new by going on a dating website.
Or letting their happily married friends set them up.
Or showing up at a gathering with like-minded people, etc, etc.
Naturally, I did what I do best – I wrote.
So I wrote and wrote and wrote about this ideal, dreamy lover.
I described the most “perfect” person I wanted in my life. I didn’t do this once, but several times over the course of a couple of months. I tried to get as clear as I could about who I was looking for.
And through a series of events, the internet and Skype, I found myself mesmerized by a Goddess!
She was enchanting, she was brilliant, she was funny, she was a doctor, she was Indian, she had a similar background, she volunteered, she was hard-working, ambitious and, oh yeah, did I mention? Gorgeous.
And she appeared to me as an enchanting Indian princess. She was like Freida Pinto, Amala Paul, and Priyanka Chopra all rolled into one.
How was this happening, I wondered.
I thought the Gods must have opened up the heavens to bless me with this attractive, talented and intelligent woman.
We emailed, we spoke, we chatted, we Skyped. I was swept off my feet and in a dreamy daze.
I heard wedding bells every time I saw her text on my phone.
However, let me break the bubble of this love story and bring us back to reality. It didn’t quite work out.
In all of my visualizations and in my writing, I had missed something important.
I forgot about the stuff that matters most – values.
See, I had forgotten my own advice to stay true to what really mattered in relationships – values that you both hold dear.
This is where we differed significantly.
She valued her career, her industry, her achievements and everything that her hard work had brought her. I’m not saying that her values were wrong.
They just didn’t fit with mine.
We each saw the world very differently.
Many of the things I valued are internal – compassion, simplicity, freedom and spirit.
While I don’t look down on her values (her values are her values), I had to really come to terms with the fact that this couldn’t work. As alluring as her achievements were and as beautiful as she was and as thrilled as I was, I knew that this romance wouldn’t last long.
I share this story with you for two reasons. One, to show you that visualization works. Two, to show you that if it doesn’t work exactly the way you want, you can work on getting clearer about YOUR dream guy or woman.
Here are 5 quick tips on how you can visualize a dreamy lover. (And even better, a free visualization worksheet you can print out and use to manifest your dream partner.)
I want you to imagine as clearly as possible the kind of partner you’d like to have in your life. You might think about the physical appearance, height and clothing of this person, but I urge you to go deeper. Think about their voice, their demeanor and their personality.
Think about their qualities, their values and how they make you feel. Yes, it’s all imaginary, but the more real your imagination, the more likely you’ll see someone like this materialize in person. Feel free to consider the type of work they do and the field they work in.
The sky’s the limit with visualization – allow your mind to see as much detail as you want.
Once you’re done seeing this in your mind’s eye, feel what it would be like to have this person show up in your life. Go through all the feelings of the excitement you’ll experience upon meeting and being with this person.
Now experience how it would feel to meet and spend time with your partner. Capture those feelings of joy and excitement with this person who will soon be showing up.
Now put all the pieces together and cement this visualization through a writing exercise. You can do the exercise first, or you can do it after you visualize it. Either way, there’s something magical about writing about your dream partner on paper. It takes the abstract and makes it real.
Write down the exact type of person you’d like to see in your life. I’ve made it easy for you and put together a worksheet that will walk you through this writing process. It’s the exact process I used when I visualized this dreamy woman who showed up in my life.
Here are the questions and the prompts on this two-page worksheet. Print it out, fill it out and make a practice of doing this for a month. Check out the last question also to help you address any internal blocks that might prevent you from meeting this person.
4) Do your part.
Now, this isn’t magic per se or some kind of hocus pocus. I’m not going to talk about the law of attraction or any such thing. I’d like to think of this process simply as cultivating your energy and turning your subconscious thoughts into reality.
Doing your part means doing the writing and the visualization exercises.
It also means doing your part in getting out there, being available to meet people and taking concrete steps toward opening your life to a relationship.
Finally, doing your part means improving yourself, working on your inner and outer selves and being connected to your personal growth. You’re going to attract the person of your dreams only when you’re putting out the same energy in life as he or she is.
Once you’ve completed the visualizing and done your part to meet new people, get ready to welcome this wonderful person into your life.
Don’t run away from good things. Yes, it is entirely possibly that your dream partner will show up and that you did your part by manifesting them.
Yes, this manifestation is partly through your mind and vision, but you’ve also likely been doing the work to attract this person. You’ve been doing the work to become the best and highest version of yourself.
Don’t push this person away and don’t run from him or her. Give the person a fair shot. See if the man or woman you dreamed up is the real deal. If yes, celebrate. If not, go back to the drawing board and clarify your visualizations even more.
To download the Dreamy Lover worksheet, print it out here: ManifestDreamPartner.