Let's just duel it out - winner keeps Brad.
“Inner Guide…I wholeheartedly welcome your guidance. I ask that you teach me to perceive everyone as equal, and to see everyone as love. Teach me love through every holy encounter.” Gabrielle Bernstein, May Cause Miracles
“You’re going to stop harassing Linda and allow her to do her work at her own pace,” I instructed the manager at the hospital.
“This is her workplace. She’s not going to be bullied by you or anyone else!”
The snarling manager who had it with me was on the phone, calling security to have me removed from his office and the hospital.
In my most inspiring and sacred job as a union organizer, I’ve had to get in the face of unruly managers plenty of times.
The people who steal your peace.
Many conversations have turned into shouting matches. Sometimes, the cops have shown up. The mutual feelings of animosity and anger were shared by all.
Not only in the workplace but every day of your life presents you with situations where you will be angry, frustrated or extremely annoyed with the people around you.
You want to yank out her hair and strangle her. You want to pour a bucket of water on her lovely dress so she’s soaked, embarrassed and brought back to reality!
Not just your girl-friend but,
– The rude clerk at the grocery store who refuses to give you a double coupon discount.
– The hotel receptionist who insists on giving you a smoking room
– Your co-worker who’s supposed to listen to your ideas but goes ahead and does whatever she pleases.
– The obnoxious retail lady who shoo’s you off to the plus-sized dresses when you clearly don’t belong there.
– The boy-friend who forgot your anniversary, birthday, Mother’s Day, boxing day, President’s Day and hey maybe, the murder-worthy day to forget – Valentine’s day.
Can you love the people who you’d rather run over with your Prius?
The ones who make you angry?
Frustrate you?
Judge you?
Cut you off in traffic? (I just cut someone off recently while driving – a nun of all people! A story for another day).
The people you get angry with daily and feel like beating up with your designer Alexander Mcqueen heels? Or run over with your Prius? Or want to throw over the bridge?
In my case, how do I come to love the people, the adversaries, who sometimes do horrible things to workers? How do I love them?
I know there’s a fine line between being a pushover and standing up for what you believe in but how I do I love the people I’m angry with?
How did Nelson Mandela survive prison to fight apartheid? Dolores Huerta endure strikes and fasts for workers? Wendy Davis stand up, without food or water, for 11 hours for her beliefs?
Leggo your Eggo Let go of your ego and chose love.
Sending out love makes you happier, reduces turmoil in your life and creates more harmony in the world. Loving others is also a way to celebrate the divinity in all people.
Gabrrielle Bernstein orders us to step back, put our hands behind our back, and reads us the Miranda rights. Well, she reads us our ego’s rights and how to incarcerate the pesky character.
“The intention of the ego is to maintain control over the perception that the other person is separate, through attack, judgment, jealousy, and so on,” she writes in her latest book, May Cause Miracles.
Gabby says that’s we’re protecting ourselves by thinking attack thoughts on others and by doing so, creating more attack. Yup, it’s a vicious cycle.
She pushes us to challenge our gargantuan egos which occupies our consciousness and radiate love instead.
“The spiritual act of surrender releases you from the ego’s grip and opens up your consciousness to receive guidance. (Shift) the goal of the relationship from one in which you defend specialness and separation to one in which you experience oneness and wholeness.”
Can you love more daily?
To chose love more, you have to come to terms with your judgment and impressions of people. You have to notice what your default perception of people are.
Where does your mind go when you face rudeness, annoyance or arrogance?
Do you attack? Or let go and love?
Once you are aware, let me challenge you to love more.
Can you hold less grudges and forgive more trespasses against you?
Can you put yourself in another person’s shoes? Sympathize with them?
You can’t become a perfect human overnight. You’re going to get upset and angered by the countless transactions you have every day of your life. And want to put people in a neck brace. Don’t do that.
You’ve gotta use every opportunity to look at the situation with love. It’s a daily practice. Hell, it’s a minute by minute practice.
So, instead of feeling attacked, fearful or angry with someone, chose in that moment to love them.
The most improbable results manifest when you do this. I notice that when we treat the other person with love, the other person changes! Often, they respond more logically, kindly and with love themselves. It’s like a magic trick. Gabby would call it a miracle!
You can change the way someone behaves by treating them showering them with love. I’m not a woo-woo kind of guy who believes in tarot readings, divine signs and all this spiritual mumbo jumbo. What the &%#@…let me take that back.
That’s exactly the kind of guy I am but don’t allow that to undermine what I’m about to say.
Do this today:
1) Confront your hatred, judgment and anger towards others. Acknowledge it and be aware of how you are responding to those closest around you. Not just in your personal life but everyone you interact with.
2) Choose to react differently – chose love over fear. As Gabby suggests, set the intention of your relationship with the other person as one of finding peace and love, not attacking them.
Respond to every attack, judgment and negative perception of someone with Gabby’s mantra: “I am willing to see love instead of this.” When you’re lied to, frustrated, angry or upset by someone, chose to see love in the situation, instead of the ego-based thoughts.
3) Chose love in every situation you’re wronged, challenged , rejected, hurt, misunderstood, labeled, you’re made fun of, talked about, lied to…
4) Find more happiness, peace, love and joy in your life when you love someone you want to strangle. Note how your internal world changes for the better. Notice how your external world is filled with more kindness, understanding and love.
How do you love someone who you makes you angry? Let me know in the comments below – one of you lucky comment-leaving souls will win a free copy of Gabby’s book, May Cause Miracles.
Photo credit: Radek Szuban