I did whatever I could to avoid the breakup of my marriage.
Family intervention. Check.
European vacation. Check.
Marriage counseling. Check.
Date nights and communication. Check.
But it was all a bit too much, a bit too late.
Our relationship was beyond repair and nothing could save it.
Years of fights, yelling, speaking, not speaking, resentments and disrespect towards each other had created a relationship that no longer existed.
She left and all I had was had were some pots and pans, my clothing, heartbreak and soul-crushing pain.
Sleepless nights, uninterrupted streams of tears and consistent thoughts about whether living was worth it.
I believed my life was over.
You, too, may believe your life is over and it’s your ex’s fault.
You may believe that your ex is a heartless, soulless human being who had a lifelong plot to destroy you.
But before you conjure some sinister, criminal story about how your ex arrived on planet Earth to cause massive destruction in your life, let me introduce another possibility.
What if it had nothing to do with your ex?
It had nothing to do with the separation, heartbreak or divorce.
It had nothing to do with the cheating, disrespect or animosity that built up between you two.
When you’re experiencing the worst heartbreak of your life, and as your life is falling apart, you desperately want to believe your ex is to blame.
Your ex is the threat to your marriage and the destroyer of your life, you think to yourself as you seethe with anger and resentment.
Yet, we have the whole thing wrong.
It’s not about the pain, suffering and destruction that your ex caused.
That’s not what this whole life thing is about.
Sorry to break the news but life isn’t about heartbreak and pain, sadness or even joy.
It’s not about the white picket fence, a house in a gated community or having a family. It’s not about marriages that last, careers that accelerate or a luxurious life of chefs, butlers and meals in the White House kitchen.
So, what is it about?
Life is for your personal development and spiritual growth.
Those who are lucky enough to live relatively calm and stable lives (none of you reading this, of course) will experience a mundane and non-growth oriented life experience. Not growing is comfortable and relaxing.
Yet those of you who have gone through the washing machine of life must come to some understanding of why you’re going through the spin cycle.
The spin cycle puts your life in upheaval but allows your soul to awaken.
Every time crazy life events – like divorces or breakups – happen, the world as you know it bursts wide open and you question the very meaning of your existence.
When you’re questioning, you’re existing. You’re asking yourself who you are and why you’re here.
During those times of questioning, profound spiritual shifts happen.
You are here to be more of yourself. You are here to be more of your inner being. You are here to become more of your spiritual being.
All of these beings exist within you but are dormant.
Only when your life and circumstances get shook, do you get woke. (I’m not even sure what that means but all the kids are using these words.)
Anyway, point being: the more upheaval in your life, the more questioning. The more questioning, the more awakening to who you are. The more awakening to who you are, the more aligning with your spiritual nature.”
Your spiritual nature is your essence, your being, the inner you that jobs, families, houses, careers, drinking and bowling nights usually hide. You don’t have to know who you are if you are busy and if life preoccupies you. When you’re experiencing success and achievement, you don’t have to ask who you are.
Only when your world breaks apart are you ready to ask questions, to grow and get in touch with your highest self.
So your devastating break up or the divorce you’re going through isn’t here to crush you, like you believe. It’s here to awaken you and take your life and consciousness to the next level.
The game isn’t about worldliness, happiness and stuff. It’s about spiritual awakening and inner peace.
A breakup can fertilize the ground for contentment and waking up.
Divorce can fertilize the ground for spirituality, knowledge and awakening.
You may feel like life has handed you a death sentence when you’re really being born again.
Your task isn’t to seek comfort and stability while on earth.
Your mission is to discover who you are and become more of that in your life.
I wrote a book about living an authentic life and living your truth; pick up 7 Sacred Promises here today.