You don’t have to merely survive divorce if you’re going through one.
You definitely won’t be surviving divorce if you did divorce the charmed divorce way.
Leah Scott and Robin Sassi, bloggers and authors over at Charmed Divorce, wrote a book in 2017 that I’ve been reading over the years whenever I needed a shot of inspiration or a good laugh.
This book is like having a couple girl-friends giving you divorce advice over a glass of wine.
You’ll cry, you’ll laugh, and possibly forget you’re going through a divorce by the time you finish this book.
Interestingly, the two women start and end the book with the two words, “Get Laid”.
Now, this is in no way a sex book of any kind but the authors do stress the importance of sex in the first and last page of the book.
This is one sure way to have a charmed divorce, right? Lots of sex?!
Here are their other 10 tips on surviving your divorce charmingly well from the book Charmed Divorce.
10 ways to survive divorce charmingly well.
1. Taking care of yourself.
“How your body feels affects the way your mind operates and positive body conditioning is good for the soul. Working on yourself from the outside in is a way to feel good inside out.”
One of things that both women encourage is taking care of yourself and treating yourself well in divorce. They suggest an hour a day of self –care for your body, mind and soul. They say it’s time do whatever it takes to feel good even if you might be feeling lousy.
2. Appreciate the small stuff.
“With all the changes you are going through, life can appear overwhelming and unstable. Appreciating the small things will make the big things less daunting. Remember: small things. By small, we mean miniscule.”
They encourage showing appreciation for all the small things that are going right in your life. Remind yourself how good you have it. You may not be able to control the bigger things in your life but replace that with the tiny joy of everyday life.
3. Get through the hard stuff.
“Cry, stomp, rage, scream. Do these things and then be done with it. It is only when you process those emotions that you can move on with the right attitude. What is that attitude? You can get through this.”
You don’t have to run away from the hard stuff. Divorce will be the hardest thing you will be going through emotionally. Feel your feelings and experience the emotions to survive divorce. The women promise you that it does get better after you get through.
4. Declutter your life.
“Clutter that piles up in your mind will make it difficult to think clearly. It’s time to take inventory of your house and your mind. This will help you create your new life and new space. “
Decluttering will help you with the letting go process. First, clean out the physical stuff and then work on the mental stuff that is occupying your mind. Having less stuff will help you get more productive and feel more relaxed. You can fill your physical space and your mind with the things that bring you happiness.
5. Stay open-minded to new experiences.
“Make a list of things that you have thought about trying but never felt you had the time for. It could be a new type of food, class or social group.”
To get out of the rut of an unfulfilling marriage, try experiment and doing new things. The women suggest getting out of your comfort zone. Explore parts of yourself that were lying dormant. It’s time to live it up with adventure and change of routine.
6. Discover what you want to do with your life
“What better time than to start something new whether it’s a business idea, a new way of eating or exercising, or that craft you were always so good at making. ”
Be creative and explore what you’re passionate about in life. Reconsider if you’re career is something you enjoy doing or is it time to try something else. Consider starting that new business you had in mind. Try out different things that you feel drawn toward and start living a more passionate life. You are now free to.
7. Exercising bravery
“The fear you may feel come from anticipating the world without a partner. This is where you learn to be brave and discover that being alone is not the end of the world.”
They remind you that you’re going to have to find the courage to live a braver life. You’re going to have to do a whole bunch of things you don’t feel like doing after the marriage ends. This takes conscious effort, determination, and continually showing up for difficult and challenging situations.
8. Discover yourself
“This is the time to ‘date’ yourself. It’s time to take yourself to a movie, out to eat, or to some other event – alone.”
You need alone time post divorce to get to know yourself more. Only when you know yourself can you go forward and be in a better and healthier relationship. They recommend taking yourself out, eating and watching movies alone, to get to know yourself better.
“A ‘just divorced’ party is the celebration of the conclusion of the legal process of your divorce…Completing the divorce is a great reason to celebrate.”
You’ve reached a milestone and may have been stressed for the past few months or years while you survived divorce. No better way to celebrate, enjoy with friends and have a party!
10. Have great sex ?!
“It is time to enjoy your new life. What better way than to have some great sex? So go on, and get laid! You deserve the attention and pleasure.”
As I mentioned the women, start and end the book with this tip so there’s probably something to it. They recommend this because they say it’s time to start enjoying your new life. You deserve the attention and the pleasure.
The two authors have put a positive spin on the D-word in this book, Charmed Divorce. The women say that a charmed divorce is enjoying your new life post divorce, being strong and keeping a smile on your fact. They did it and remind you that you can too.
If you’re going through a divorce, do yourself a favor and pick up Charmed Divorce in the Amazon store today. You don’t have to simply survive divorce. You can get through it charmingly well.