10 Common Beliefs About Love After a Breakup

love after a breakupIs love after a breakup even possible?

After a serious and committed relationship ends, you begin to have weird thoughts swirling through your mind about the future.

First comes the hurt and the pain of having gone through a breakup.

Then comes the blame towards yourself, your ex and others that caused the breakup.

Finally, comes the sad and lonely thoughts about your future, along with your fears that you will never love again after a breakup.

I can personally attest to many of these common beliefs that came in and out of my life after my divorce.

I think the belief that I held about the future was that I would be alone again for the rest of my life and that no one would ever love me again.

It’s at points like that you begin to ask yourself what’s the point of living and what’s the point of life?

Thankfully, I’ve come a long way since then.

I realize that many of the beliefs that I developed post-breakup came from a place of grief yet it took me years to overcome them.

Our mind has a way of playing tricks on us and leading us to dramatic and untrue spaces of thought.

Here are some of the most common beliefs that went through my mind as I thought about finding love after a breakup.

These might be thoughts that are whirling around your mind too.

Please read, reflect and let me know which ones resonate the most with you.

All you have to do is hit reply to this email and fill me in.

Of course, if you’re not on the email list, please get on it!

10 Common Beliefs About Love After a Breakup

1. I will never find love again and be alone forever.

Just because one person ended the relationship with you, you believe that you won’t find someone and be alone the rest of your life.

You think love will pass you by and you’ll spend the rest of your life by yourself, withering away into oblivion and dying a peaceful death surrounded by loyal furry friends.

2. No one will like me or love me again.

Since your ex didn’t like you and fell out of love in you, you believe the other 7 billion people in the world are also going to dismiss you for the terrible person you are.

Love only happens once in your life. It happened. Now, it’s over and you will be living in solitude for several more decades.

You had your one shot at love and it didn’t work out.

3. No one will accept me once they see the real me.

You got to know someone, spend years with them and were in a relationship with them.

Since you believe that something is wrong with you and you scared your ex away, you believe that you will scare everyone else away too.

Once people get to know the real you, they will run for the hills.

There is something permanently damaged about you that no one can accept you for who you are once they get to know you.

4. I am permanently broken

Once again, your relationship ending with your ex will help you see that you have issues. Serious ones that you developed since a child or through other life trauma.

You’ll realize that you’re permanently broken or there is something so flawed with you that no one will want you ever again.

This is not a temporary condition. You were cursed from birth to be broken and unlovable.

Well…there’s always the next life.

5. There are no good people out there.

You take all your previous relationships and all of your recent bad dates to conclude there is absolutely no good people out there.

Everyone is a deadbeat, a dud or a deadbeat dud.

Why even bother dating when people are bad, unavailable, uninterested, boring, evil…

6. I will repeat the mistakes of the past.

You made many mistakes in this past relationship which you hold yourself solely responsible for.

You ruined a perfectly good relationship with a perfectly good person.

You feel like you’re an immature, unworthy, cruel person who causes massive pain and hurt to the people they love.

7. I will choose the wrong person again

You made a mistake in choosing your previous partner. You are pretty much guaranteed to pick someone just as bad the next time around.

Since you did such a poor choice of choosing someone compatible, you believe that you’re going to draw someone into your life who’s just as lousy and bad for you.

8. If I don’t know myself, how could I know what I want in a partner?

After the tsunami of a breakup, you have lost a sense of self, a sense of purpose and a sense of being.

You don’t even know who you are and what you want out of you life.

You’re so lost, how could you possibly be clear on who you’re looking for in a partner?

9. I don’t want go through heartbreak again.

You’ve been through it once and it was more unpleasant than a visit to the dentist.

You cried in bed for months, never went out in public and felt like digging a deep hole and hiding out in it for years.

You’ve experienced serious heartbreak and similar to heart attacks and getting your wisdom teeth pulled, once is enough.

10. I don’t want to feel unworthy again.

Your ex made you feel terrible about yourself.

They made you question your self-worth and your confidence.

You felt so terrible about yourself as a person that you would never let anyone do this to you again by having another love after a breakup.

So you’re going to have super-high walls around your heart and make sure that getting to your heart is going to be 80 times harder than getting tickets to the next Hamilton show.

You would rather push people away, hide from people and make people angry at you than allowing someone to get close enough to you to make you feel unworthy.

To find love after a breakup, pick up my book, Love After Heartbreak, here.

Which of these beliefs most resonate with you? I would like to hear from you via email about your own experiences, thoughts and beliefs after a breakup.