I’ve had a picture about how I wanted to live my life ever since my divorce.
Before my divorce, I had this vision of a dream life that I thought was absolutely nutty.
Nutty in the sense that I never thought it would be possible.
I didn’t think I could spend my time inspiring people, write, coach, and get paid for it.
I didn’t think you could actually pursue your dream career and make it work.
I didn’t think that you could create your dream lifestyle and make that work!
My dream life is essentially to do my work around my life.
Not my life around my work.
I saw most of society putting work first and doing their life outside of the 9 to 5.
I wanted to live life between 9 to 5 and work when I felt like it.
Also, I wanted work to not feel like work.
I wanted it to be pure passion and purpose.
I made big leaps and took small steps.
I transitioned out of the legal profession.
I took a job with much more work-life balance that allowed me to prioritize writing.
I took months and years off from regular employment to build my coaching practice.
It feels like I’m finally getting there.
I’m back in Asia and doing slow travel and work from this part of the world.
Every day, my life revolves around friends and family, visiting spiritual places and meditating and trying to stay healthy. Oh and working, of course, but that happens early in the morning or late at night.
I write for this blog for people who have experienced divorce and heartbreak.
I write on Medium for people who need some motivation.
I write on Amazon and get paid when people purchase one of my books. The best way to support my work by the way is to pick up a book on Amazon (aff link).
I also am going to launch a series of courses about letting go of the past and overcoming heartbreak in the coming month.
This is the dream that I’ve been working towards for years and feels like it is finally materializing.
I work for myself and have the freedom to live my life on my own terms.
If I had looked back on the past, which I have a bad habit of doing, I would have thought about how great my legal career was and how I should have stuck to the known and certain path to financial security and career stability.
But screw that!
Here’s what happened post-divorce!
I realized how fragile life is/was.
I realized that if nightmares could come true, then for sure, dreams could come true.
I realized that life’s short.
I might as well spend the time doing what I want to do instead of what society wanted me to do.
So I envisioned a life that I wanted to life.
I saw a future life in my mind that seemed way out there but got clear about it.
And have spent the last few years moving towards that future.
It’s unfolding as we speak.
Seeing your future vividly is one way to help you let go of the heaviness of the past.
When your mind is replaying past highlights and memories, train it to see what it is you want it is you want now.
What is your vision for your life?
What does that life look like? If you’re on my email list, please reply and let me know what your dream life looks like.
If you need some support and guidance in this process, check out my coaching page here. There’s no better way to start 2020 than envisioning what it is you want out of life.
Everyone responds to divorce and breakups differently.
I have met people who are dating multiple people after their divorce, having the time of their life and marrying their soulmate soon after.
I’ve also met people who are stuck for years on end after divorce.
This is was me.
These are the people who I coach.
This might be you.
Some people feel physically alive but emotionally and spiritually dead post breakup.
Some people believe only their past contains their best life.
They believe their future is sad and hopeless.
We are people who saw the life that we knew crumble right in front of us.
We survived the wreckage but are still left wondering, “why us and what now”.
“Why me” is what led me to leave my career as a lawyer. (It also made me write this book Is God Listening)
“What now” is what led me to Bombay and Kerala, to Burma and Sri Lanka, to Guatemala and Costa Rica. (I should probably write a book on that…oh, wait…)
I now get why travel is so attractive to the broken-hearted and divorced.
I’m going to urge you to do more of it too.
You know what’s different about us?
Our entire lives fell apart.
Everything we had known to be true no longer is.
The life that we had created vanished right in front of our eyes.
Our marriage, our partner, our schedules, possibly our jobs and where we lived, where our children live, etc etc.
Our lives crumbled. Everything changed and nothing made sense anymore.
Which in many ways is like travel.
Imagine waking up in a foreign country that doesn’t speak the language you’re used to, has completely different customs and traditions and appears totally foreign too.
You and I are already used to this!
If you’re experienced in unfamiliar places, foreign surroundings and where nothing makes sense, then travel is perfect.
Except unlike our romantic breakups, travel is welcoming and pleasant.
We welcome in new foods and hospitable people.
We don’t understand languages that are filled with romanticism and adventure.
We see people and places that are unfamiliar but beautiful.
We find ourselves in situations where we might be by ourselves but seem connected to the people around us.
I’m not exactly saying that divorce is a like a trip to Paris but maybe I am
And those of us who are divorced will excel at it.
And those of us who are divorced should do more of it.
Once you see the world you’re familiar with disappear, you adapt and try to make sense of the new world in front of you.
If you’ve done it in divorce, you can do it in travel.
In travel, novelty and unfamiliarity is pleasant and welcoming.
Newness doesn’t mean waking up by yourself in a huge bed in a huge house.
Your newness is waking up in a quaint hotel overlooking beautiful lakes you’ve never seen in your life.
Or trying to buy unpronounceable street food from people who don’t speak the same language as you.
The divorced are experienced in the novel and unfamiliar.
We are trained to start over when everything in unknown.
We didn’t go out for a weekend seminar to learn this.
Divorce taught us to navigate the unfamiliar and uncertain.
It taught us to stand strong and step up when the rug was being pulled from underneath us.
So, travel more often.
Travel to more unfamiliar locations.
Have your external circumstances change regularly until…
you realize that the external can change frequently and often but you still remain the same.
Underneath all the change and unknown is you:
Known, truthful, expanding, growing, soulful.
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Hi, I’m Vishnu
I help people overcome their devastating breakups and divorces and find love again. Instead of visiting the Himalayas, sign up below and join me. I am taking a writing break but will be back soon.
This guide is free. A ticket to the Himalayas is $2000. Your move.
