Bro, I think we've had enough of your Spanish here.
In order to succeed you must fail, so that you know what not to do the next time. Anthony J. D’Angelo.
Let’s say you’re trying to learn the Argentinian tango or trying to get your book published.
Imagine trying to become a world-famous Chef like Julia Childs. Or even Julie Powell for that matter, who spent everyday of a full year cooking up one of Julia Childs’s recipes.
Or pretend you’re on the run from the authorities and need to spend a few months in the Central Americas, let’s say Nicaragua for now, and are trying to learn Spanish.
How do you do something you’ve never done before and excel?
How do you get good at something? What’s the language for success?
As you know, I’m in the spiritually buzzing city of Granada, Nicaragua, learning Spanish. I took 4 years of high school Spanish but like my French, oh, I’ve never learnt or spoken a word of French in my life!), my Spanish had become rusty. When I snuck into Nicaragua this past month, however, I’ve only spoken Spanish at home, at school, church, and to people on the street.
In fact, here I am with the Spanish school director (who refuses to publicly acknowledge I’m a student of the school):
Don't ever tell anyone you studied here.
The student who wouldn’t speak Spanish.
At Spanish school, I met a fellow-student who had visited Nicaragua several times now but she still didn’t speak Spanish much. She’s understood everything people were saying to her but usually did not respond. I probed her a little bit trying to inquire why she didn’t want to speak the language.
She said that she didn’t want to look bad by speaking it wrong. She wanted to speak it perfectly, so would continue to think about each word and sentence and perfect conjugation before saying what she wanted to say.
I, on the other hand, was told by my Spanish teacher on the first day of class that I speak Spanish like a ‘directionless bird’ – without any reference to tenses, time or proper conjugation. I’m not trying to brag in any way here about my bird-like ability to speak Spanish but I have and continue to reach a level of proficiency that I can get my basic point across (no matter how bad it comes out) and carry on a conversation.
That’s when I realized the successful ingredient to speaking Spanish or being successful in anything in life.
1. The language to success is learnt by failure.
Instead of hiding from the language or something new, the best way to master it is to attack it. You have to jump in there and get your hands dirty (if cooking), your feet dirty (if playing soccer) or your mouth dirty when speaking Spanish (You know what I mean!).
You must persist in pursuing a new skill or habit you desire to master, and be prepared to do it wrongly, incorrectly and so bad that you’ll be laughed at!
2. Cuddle with AND embrace failure. And no I’m not suggesting you go to bed with that loser ex of yours:) Not only is it a good idea to fail and fail often but also FAIL BIG. Because the more you fail, the more you’re learning. Most people don’t like the idea of failing because they look bad or feel embarrassed. But the flip side of never failing is never learning and never growing.
If you’re trying to learn a new course, a new language, mastering becoming a ninja, trying to become a yoga instructor, then go out and fail. It’s the same way when we were learning to ride a bike or mastered our handwriting as kids. We didn’t just come out on the first time and excel at it. We continued to mess up, look bad, feel horrible, had our parents yell at our incompetence before we figured it out and mastered it.
3. Treat your failures as your building blocks to success. When you do fail and do fail big, treat those failures as the vault of your future success.
People think the more you fail, the more of a loser you are. What if instead, the more you fail means that the more you know how not to fail in the future. And if you fail a lot now then you can’t help but being successful at the skill you desire to master, the habit you desire to have or the business you desire to build.
So, I’m not going to tell you to go out and pursue success. No, my friend, I’ve learnt that the language to success is failing big and often. Falling flat on your face is a good thing.
My Spanish teachers hate me and are trying to ban me from coming back to the school because I speak the language horribly but I’m speaking it everyday, conversing with people and getting better.
The other day, I told the woman who tried to sell me a wallet that I wanted a $10 cordoba ($.50 US) discount because I didn’t want a plastic bag for the wallet. No, she didn’t give me a discount and no I didn’t buy the wallet but we both conversed without the dialogue turning too violent or her ripping me off.
Go on now – go FAIL at something. Keep failing your way to success.
Do you agree about failing being the recipe for success? Do you love to fail or do you embrace failing like a shark in an aquarium?
P.S. Can you do me a favor and share this article with the patrons at the pub you’re reading this post at? Or via social media, if easier. Cheers!
Even if you have no interest whatsoever in spirituality, religion, faith or this blog, you’re probably a fan of music. Well, how ’bout spiritual tunes that can stir your heart and awaken your soul?
Music can be a big part of anyone’s spiritual practice. Having grown up in a Hindu household, I regularly awakened to hot devotional tracks with shout-outs to every Hindu God that existed (more than 20,000 it felt like) and spent Sunday mornings singing group devotional songs called bhajans.
Some call spiritual music the universal language of God; a way to invoke the divine in our practice. (Others of you might call music a must-have for building up any modern-day, main-stream cult but that’s a conversation for another day)
So, what are my favorite spiritual songs?
Here’s a list of my top 7:
1) Familiar with the Gayatri mantra? If you’re not Hindu, probably not. If you are, you’re probably sick of hearing this chant. But how could you be? This particular Hindu mantra recited by millions of people at sunrise and sunset around the world is a divine recitation straight out of the Rig Vedas of ancient times. Set to catchy music in this video, this mantra praises the divine creator in the world and asks for enlightenment. Who can ask for more, yo?
I’ve known people who have told me that reciting this mantra has brought miracles into their lives. Check out the song and let me know what you think.
2. Who isn’t moved by the magnificence ofAmazing Grace? Basically the spiritual story of an Englishman, John Newton, this hymn has been a strong part of our culture in the United States from the time of the country’s founding. Newton was an obscene sailor living an irreverent life ‘til one day he found himself in the midst of a terrible storm. His spiritual conversion started right there on that rocky ship and produced this beautiful hymn later in his life. Here’s a rendition from child gospel singer, Rhema Marvane:
3. Ave Maria is a Catholic prayer, based on the Gospel of St. Luke. Here’s a wonderful rendition of this Catholic hymn dedicated to the Virgin Mary, by Mirusia:
4. Swing Low Sweet Charriot is an African-American spiritual with references to the underground railroad, which helped free thousands of slaves in the United States. It’s a deeply moving and spiritual song.
5. Om Namah Sivaya is a Hindu mantra praising Lord Siva, the powerful Hindu God know to destroy evil spirits. Siva is as big as it gets in the Hindu faith and most temples have a shrine dedicated to this powerful God. Enjoy this devotional tune dedicate to the all-powerful Lord Siva:
6. Oseh Salom was a song I had never heard previously until I came across it in the CD to the spiritual tome, Spirituality for Dummies. Sharon Janis has put together a terrific collection of songs bound to get spiritually inspired. Oseh Salom is a beautiful song praying for peace and wholeness.
7. Finally, Creere, by Tercer Cielo is a song I’ve fallen in love with in my travels in Central America. A tour guide introduced me to this song on his Ipod, as one of his favorite’s, while on a hike in the heart of the La Amistad International Park tropical rainforest. It translates to “I will believe” and is an inspirational song about believing in yourself when the doors are closed and going forward in life even when you feel like you can’t.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euMCH7UyKB8
For my book on spirituality and resiliency, Is God Listening?, click here.
“If you could pick one rule to experience amazing things, I suggest: If it feels uncomfortable then you’re doing something right. When you’re uncomfortable, you’re growing.” Scott Dinsmore
Are you living a comfortable life?
A life that’s within your comfort zone? A life without much variety or challenge?
Is life becoming boring, monotonous and preventing you from growing further.
Why shake up your life?
I wrote my last post on why to shake up your life on purpose and encouraged you to get out of your comfort zone and take more risks. To take on more challenges and try more uncomfortable things.
One reason I suggested to purposefully shake up your life is to help you embrace the impermanent nature of things and changes that life brings your way.
Shaking up your life and getting out of your comfort zone can also be fun, exciting and challenging all at the same time.
5 ways to live a life shaken, not stirred. How to take action and challenge yourself.
1. Determine why you want to shake up your life.
You can shake up your life due to simple boredom and blandness.
You can also do it to challenge yourself, overcome a fear, take on new challenges and grow as a person.
For example, you may be terrified of traveling alone and being uncomfortable outside of the city you live in and the language you know. So travel to overcome your fear.
You may be a terrible dancer because yo were never taught. Take lessons to show yourself you can improve and master a skill.
You hate writing because it requires you to express yourself. Start blogging so you can overcome your reservations.
Don’t have a midlife crisis or go jumping out of airplanes for no reason. Know why you’re shaking things up in your life.
2. Choose activities outside your comfort zone.
The idea here is to challenge yourself and grow as a person.
If you do activities that you’re already doing, you’re not giving yourself the opportunity to grow and develop.
If you love meeting people, you’re not challenging yourself by ‘forcing’ yourself to the company party.
If you practice silence every day of your life because of monastery rules, being silent out in public is no big deal.
If you think about an activity and it makes you feel uncertain, anxious, fearful or uncomfortable, that’s the activity you should pursue.
As Ali Luke suggests, the question to ask yourself is, “what makes you nervous” in life? Those are the things to do in order to test your comfort level and challenge yourself.
3. Do your research.
I decided to leave a comfortable job, friends and a place I was becoming comfortable with. A year before I did so, I started doing research.
I found out how much it would take financially to take a work “sabbatical”. I calculated how much it would take to live in different parts of Central and South America. I researched the various countries I was going to travel to and prioritized them
With the power of the internet, you can research anything today. No matter what it is. From starting an online bookstore to selling tea online, to traveling the world or pursuing an acting dream. There are bloggers, writers, and experts in the field showing you how to do what you want to do. Find out how much things cost, and evaluate the pros and cons before you shake up your life.
4. Plan ahead.
Before you leave for an around the world journey or try to become enlightened or launch your music career, have a plan.
Just like doing your research, a plan is important for your journey to shake up your life. If you don’t have a general idea of where you’re going and how you’re going to get there, you’re not going to get very far.
Figure out how many months or years you’re going to pursue your project or passion. Figure out how you’re going to get around and what kind of transport you’ll use.
If you’re going to need the support of friends and family, know when and who to ask.
If you’re going to move to become a ninja, you have to figure out how to save up to get to Japan, find a dojo and master you skill.
If you’re going to start a web design freelance business by returning to the motherland, the Philippines of course, have a plan on how you’re going to deal with the challenges of moving back and working there.
For me, it took planning but that’s why I can now share these Nicaraguan pics with you:)
A view of the city of Granada
A fountain in a lovely garden.
Colorful streets of Granada, Nicaragua
5. Evaluate your progress.
Once you start your journey to shake up your life, evaluate your progress regularly. If you set out to overcome a fear or grow as a person, check in and see how you’re doing.
Are you getting more comfortable in your adventure or less?
If you’ve nailed it and successfully become the person you wanted to be or overcame the obstacle you were facing, maybe it’s time to shake up some of the other areas in your life.
Consciously monitor the progress of your new activities and see if it’s making an improvement in your life and helping you become the person you’d like to be.
If you are the new ‘you’, great! If you’re not and you’re spending a lot of time on it, it could be time to move on.
Here are a few folks I know who have shaken up their lives in different ways:
♦ Janet quit her job and move to the Philippines to start her own online freelance business.
♦ Amy is a personal trainer who regularly challenges her clients to get out of their comfort zone with working out and life.
♦ Wendy Irene strives to live a life of wellness and took on the Gunnar challenge, witth her husband, to lose weight.
♦Irving, or the wise Vizier, has embraced change in his life and blogs about the many lessons life’s taught him on his blog, Han of Harmony.
♦ Penelope left the city, married a farmer and is raising two kids on a farm, while writing, blogging and helping young professionals manage their careers.
♦ Milo, Therese and Izzy quit their jobs. Milo is now an international man of copy and is trying to dominate the world . Therese helps you get unlost in life so you find your career path and Izzy is going to become a ninja. (laugh at your own peril here)
♦ Lori runs an engaging community blog and made a leap to publish her own e-book on kindle without going through traditional publishing channels.
♦ Keith started his own blog recently and is about to break some habits. (and takes us along for the ride)
♦ Caroline, Meg, David & Maria are each shaking it up by traveling, taking on life and blogging about it.
♦ Razwana has made a couple major job changes to London, then Paris and started a blog to help others find their ideal jobs.
Have you shaken up your life by doing something new, challenging or different? Please share your experiences in the comments below and what steps you took to shake things up.
— legendary Hollywood (should have been Oscar-winning movie) Dude where’s my car?
Ashton Kucher and Sean Scott spend a full 90 minutes looking for their cars in the epic movie, Dude Where’s My Car after a full night of intoxicated partying. They wake up in the morning looking for their lost car and spend an entire movie trying to track it down.
This post is not about finding your car.
But I would say, on a side note, that I’ve had plenty of trouble finding my car.
You know that feeling when you park at a shopping center and walk out 8 hours later carrying 12 luxury shopping bags filled with necessities from Gucci, Saks 5th Avenue, & Nordstroms? And all 4 sides of the shopping center look EXACTLY the same?
You walk up and down the parking lot trying to unlock every car that looks like yours? And in the process are surrounded by armed security guards asking you to put your hands over your head and then cite you for disturbing peace when you try to run away?
Oh…never happened to you…Ummm.. moving on…
You may not have searched for your car in the shopping center parking lot or after a night of drunken stupor but what are you searching for in your life? (what a transition!?!)
Don’t we all spend our lives looking for something? Paris romances? Dubai riches? Hollywood glamor? Thrills of driving a Maserati?
Not you?
Okay, how about your own search for what you think will make you happy and bring you inner peace?
I think it’s safe for me to say that I was searching for work success, advancement, glory, riches. And spent the 12 to 14 hours of my working life every day trying to get ahead.
Why eat with others when I can eat and read journals about the next big ideas and great inventions?
Why drive, listening to music I enjoy, when I could listen to movers and shakers talking about leadership and achievement on CD?
Why go home early to see the family when I never know who I’m going to meet at the next business networking event?
Of course, when we spend all this time in our life in pursuing the wrong things – climbing the corporate ladder, chasing the next promotion or raise at work, pursuing Hollywood fame, achieving social standing, things tend to come to a crashing halt.
When do you search for inner peace?
Each of us at different point in our lives come to the same realization – “hey, I don’t know if want I’m pursuing in my life is really want I want! There’s something missing in my life.”
“I’m pursuing external achievements, milestones, relationships, and material possessions that really don’t make me happy or bring me peace.”
“This job, this relationship, this car, this house, this business isn’t really what I wanted.”
Or maybe you did want those things but you’re still feeling a big void in your life – you’re not at peace with yourself. Your mind is a worried and scared, you’ve lost meaning in what you thought you wanted or life throws you a nasty curve ball that brings you what appears like insurmountable problems and challenge.
Sometimes, it takes one or all of those things, to start your search for inner peace, calmness, and stability.
It might take a life changing event or tragedy for you to realize that you cannot be controlled by outside circumstances anymore. You will not let the outside world determine your peace of mind. You will refuse to bullied by life’s circumstances and events.
Why are you looking in all the wrong places? And the secret to finding inner peace.
When you do start looking for inner peace, many of us go awry and get lost in the journey to inner peace. We seek healers, gurus, spiritual leaders, books, religions, cool cults and other practices that we think will help us achieve inner calmness and awareness.
Just like how you previously traveled along the road of life towards external destinations, achievements and goals, you now believe that the road to inner calmness and peace comes through external means.
It doesn’t.
Unfortunately, it takes us a long time to realize that inner peace is something that’s…how should I put this…INTERNAL!
As scary, uncertain, and daunting as that may seem, the journey to inner peace begins within ourselves.
We can be guided by spiritual practices or guides but ultimately the state of inner peace is journey that begins within. The journey to inner peace is a daily choice that confronts us with hundreds of daily circumstances. As my friend Wendy points out, it’s how we react to daily challenges.
We can use external tools and methods on the journey to inner peace but the trip requires us to go within ourselves and strive to find peace in each moment of our lives. If you’ve started on your inward journey towards peace, here’s 10 practical steps you can take today on your journey to inner peace.
As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Nothing can bring you peace but yourself”.
Are you looking for inner peace within yourself or searching for it like you’re at a buffet line at your favorite restaurant? What path are you pursuing to find inner peace?
To learn more about my book about spirituality and resilience, Is God Listening?, click here.
Traffic jams and accidents in the pueblo, or village, take on a life of their own.
Earlier this week, I traveled from the Costa Rican pueblo I’m living in for the summer, Biolley, to another nearby pueblo, Las Tablas. We went in my friend’s truck to pick up a student volunteer who was joining us at the farm for a couple of weeks.
It was a typical morning in Costa Rica; heavenly! The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, the greenery was as vibrant as ever. We even left 2 hours early for the 30 minute ride down to the Las Tablas bus stop, trying to capture the beauty of this region with our cameras.
As we drove down the last winding turn towards a straight road that would take us into Las Tablas, we approached a trailer full of cows sitting in the middle of the bridge! (see photo above) The trailer could not make it up the small uphill climb because of the weight of the cows.
Indiana Jones to the rescue.
Since the trailer was stuck in the middle of the narrow bridge, cars couldn’t travel either way. 8 am in the morning, a trailer full of cows in the middle of the road, traffic stopped on both sides, what would you do if you got stuck on this traffic jam?
Exactly. Stop the engine, get out of your car and chit chat with all your neighbors from the village who you hadn’t seen in weeks. As we commiserated and tried to find the humor in this situation, we realized our cell phones didn’t have reception in the area to make calls or communicate with anyone.
At that point, we didn’t know how many kilometers away the actual bus stop was and it was nearing 8:30 a.m, the time the student volunteer was to arrive. As we looked out into the sea of cows stomping with restlessness in the trailer, a frustrated driver who couldn’t figure out how to move his heavy trailer, and no cell phone reception, I volunteered to do the only thing I could do in that situation.
Walk across the bridge to the bus stop.
My Indiana Jones-like tactics required I tip toe without falling into the river behind me and without getting a kiss from the agitated cows whose faces were literally a couple inches away from mine.
I had to walk past the entire trailer, clutching onto the rails with my life, to get over to the other side of the bridge. Once I made it across, I started to walk towards the bus stop. I commenced my long and treacherous uphill journey, uncertain of how many kilometers away the actual bus stop was located.
When you move forward past the initial road blocks, the obstacles seem to disappear.
I made it past the cow-filled trailer and began to walk towards the bus stop.
To my relief, the bus stop was only 1.5 km from the derailed cow trailer. I reached the bus stop exactly as the bus arrived. The student volunteer and I started walking back to our friend’s truck.
A local merchant in a van pulled over and offered us a ride back to the bridge. He rolled his eyes at us when we tried to explain to him a trailer full of cows had broken down back at the bridge. He drove us back to the bridge, where we jumped out and trekked back across the bridge, holding onto the rails with our lives.
Without falling in the ditch again or exchanging kisses with the cows, we got back to the other side of the bridge. Our friend was able to make a u-turn with her truck and we headed back home to the farm.
What does a broken down cow-filled trailer have to do with life? Well, if you confront an angry-cow filled trailer traffic jam, you have 2 choices. You can sit there and wait it out or try to move forward despite the obstacles.
All I did was decide to cross the bridge to walk to the bus stop.
From there, I found that it was just a short distance to the bus stop. The bus also arrived exactly when I did. A local merchant gave us a ride back and we were able to head back home a lot sooner than if we had sat in the traffic jam until the driver had figured out the physics of moving his cow-filled trailer.
When facing obstacles and challenges, you just have to move forward. While I could have ended up kissing a cow or falling into a river, I didn’t. And once I showed the situation I was willing to take a smooch from my four-legged friends, the other obstacles just disappeared right in front of me.
What about you? What do you do when facing a trailer full of cows? How about other life obstacles? Have you noticed that obstacles tend to fall away when you take them on? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
A couple other photos of the scenery that morning.
This train's on Indian time. What's your excuse mate?
Ahhh…you’re back for more, eh?
What’s happened since we last spoke about delay and resistance? Did you start that blog? Kick off that business? Fire your stockbroker? Un-friend the deadbeat “friends” on Facebook?
To those of you who simply say, “screw it, I’m just not going to do it right now no matter what my attorney or Vishnu says”, you’ve embraced resistance and procrastination in your life. The bigger problem is for everyone else who’s in denial about resistance.
The language of resistance.
Resistance is putting things off in your life which you need to be doing but are not, for some strong underlying reason. It’s why you don’t take the garbage out until 4:59 a.m. (1 minute before pick-up time), why you never go to your in-laws house for dinner and why you keep library books with you until you receive an ‘intent to sue’ letter from the library. It’s why you don’t go to the dentist, why you stopped going to church and why you’ll never go on a diet.
The problem with resisting action is that it’s easy to overlook the language we use to delay. We can be incredibly creative in putting off tasks. Language is one cue that can help show us how clever we are when resisting action.
While the examples I share below may be over the top, the 21 trigger phrases I suggest (they’re italicized and underlined) are phrases we may be using regularly to resist action.
Which of these phrases have you said to yourself lately?
1. I really should become an A-list actor and do a movie with Brad Pitt. (My friend, Amy, just wrote about why you need to stop ‘should-ing’ your life away.)
2. I need to give up my Wall Street job and save children in Sudan.
3. If I had enough time, I would start a business that would allow people to post photos of their faces online and then create a social media platform where they can connect with each other based on shared likes and interests.
4. If I was a millionaire, I’d hire Tim Brownson to move into my guest house and be my life coach and spiritual advisor.
5. If I only couldwake up in the mornings meditate, I could find inner peace and reach enlightenment by the end of the year.
6. I could run a triathlon if I really wanted; I’d do 3 a year and probably set some world records.
7. I’d like to travel to France, climb the Eiffel tower, walk over to the Pierce Brosnan-looking businessman staring out into the streets of Paris and tell him that we were destined to be with each other.
8. If God had wanted it, I’d have a house golf-course side in Palm Springs too.
9. When I meet the right agent, publisher and editor, I should be able to start writing my New York Times best seller.
10. If I had gone to school for that, I would have probably dropped out of Harvard and started Microsoft in a garage.
11. Once the housing market rebounds, I’m going to save up a little bit of money to buy a couple rental properties in the Florida Keys.
12. I need to stop working until 9 p.m every night and see my 2 year-old twins a couple nights a week.
13. One day, I’m going to start eating vegetables, lose 100 pounds and audition to be the guy who replaces Jared on those Subway commercials.
14. I love the idea of going into work at the post office, telling my boss to ‘stuff it’ and start that around the world overnight delivery service I’ve always dreamed of. (Actually, I know a blogger who did just that, with some slight variations of course). Milo said goodbye to the civil service, gave them plenty of notice about his departure and now is a full-time freelance copywriter. He didn’t just love the idea but he made it happen!)
15. I must forgive my third grade teacher for beating me in class every week when I was growing up and I must stop casting spells on her via this voodoo doll I had shipped over from the Caribbean islands.
16. I’m going to stop partying every week night til 2 a.m. at the clubs, spending my hard-earned money on booze and late night Denny’s runs.
17. When the new year rolls around, I’m going to stop smoking, turn vegan, drink organic water, cut out carbs, move out of my Mom’s basement, go up and see my Mom weekly and get a job!
18. If I knew people, I’d be in the U.S. Senate too and would have been Vice President by now instead of that Joe Biden guy.
19. My dream is to quit this waitressing gig in my hometown of Otis, Kansas and perform those country western songs I sing around the campfire to a live audience. (What if your dream was to quit your job, move to Japan and become a ninja? Yeah, I know someone who did that.)
20. Once the kids are grown, I’m going to give up my career as a trucker and really get serious about raising goats and selling them.
21. I would like to travel the world and teach people languages when I retire in 20 years. (One globe-trotter who didn’t wait 20 years and is teaching languages while she travels is my friend, Maria. If you want to learn Spanish online, she’s a Skype call away.)
We can’t knock out resistance in our lives unless we learn to identify the language we use to resist. That was my stab at common resistance phrases I’m familiar with and hell, may have even used at different points in my life.
Did I miss any? What words or phrases do you use to resist taking action in your own life? Let me know in the comments below.
By the way, do you love goats? If you do, check out what rush hour looks like on the Costa Rican farm that I’m living at, Morning Rush Hour on the Farm. Also, check out a recent guest post I did on Bjorn’s blog, Culture Mutt.
I help people overcome their devastating breakups and divorces and find love again. Instead of visiting the Himalayas, sign up below and join me. I am taking a writing break but will be back soon.
This guide is free. A ticket to the Himalayas is $2000. Your move.
