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How Do You Keep Going When You Want To Give Up?

How Do You Keep Going When You Want To Give Up?

rupi

My handwriting, Rupi’s wisdom.

Has it been years since you had hope?

You keep hoping that things will improve but it doesn’t.

Everyone seems to be getting ahead but you seem stuck in the past. The catastrophic breakup or divorce seems to be holding you back and you can’t seem to shake it.

You want to come up for air but you feel like you’re just pulled in too deep under water.

Life doesn’t seem fair.

You just want to disappear and give up.

What’s the point after all? Some people are lucky and get what they want. Some people live their dreams, travel the world, marry their soulmates and have smart children.

Life can be so frustrating for those of us who are waiting on the sidelines of life. We watch the game of life passing us by while everyone we know is doing so much better than us.

Others making their families proud.

Others doing what they’re “supposed” to be doing with their lives.

Others are achieving success and recognition.

It can be frustrating and demoralizing to be behind and to wonder when life will fall in place for you.  When will life push you ahead?

When will you meet the man of your dreams? When will you have children? When will you buy your dream home? When will you bring home a fury companion? When can you post a happy moment on Facebook?

When can you feel joy and happiness again?

It’s been a long struggle. It may seem like your entire life has been a struggle. Why is it so easy for some people and so difficult for you?

I get it. I know it. I hear every word you’re saying because I’ve traveled the same path as you.

So, how do you keep going when you want to give up?

Well, first take a deep breath and then another. Take another breath. Breathe in and breathe out. Don’t let the unfairness or injustice of life weigh you down. As heavy as it is, a simple breath can help you feel lighter. A simple breath can release the tension and help you get more present. Take as many breaths as you need to relax.

Next, remind yourself of where you’ve been. You’ve gone through some hard times. Unlike many others, you’ve struggled and come back from places others can’t imagine.  You’ve grown as a person, you’ve learned lessons, you’ve gotten life experience that you can’t pay for or buy.

While it may seem like you’re drifting backwards in the ways of the world, you’re actually a lot further than you think. You may feel like you’re behind your peers and family but look at how far you’ve come.

You’ve stood strong in the face of hardship and challenge. You got up and left the house when you didn’t feel like it. You showed up at work when you didn’t want to.  You got out of bed when you feel like you couldn’t. You helped others when it felt like you couldn’t help yourself. Value these small steps you’ve taken.

No, you may not have love and family. No, you may not have achieved your careers and dreams. No, your life may feel unsettled and uncertain but here’s what you do have: self-knowledge, self-resilience, wisdom, compassion, kindness, empathy and understanding.  You have skills and tools that people will never acquire in their lifetimes.

Because you’ve gone through struggle, you know how to be there for someone else who is suffering.

Because you’ve found yourself on the bathroom floor, you know what it takes to get up from your life’s worst moments.

Because you’ve sat in church pews wondering if there was a God, you know where to find truth and wisdom. You know how to access the divine.

Take some time to count the small blessings that you do have in your life. Yes, your old life is gone and the past you cherished no longer exists but what have you welcomed in? Did you find freedom? Did you find resilience? Did you find achievement? Did you find spirituality? Did you find friendship?

Look at all the small things in your life that you’re grateful for. Be thankful for home, warmth, food, family, neighbors, work that pays you and transportation to get you there. Be thankful for small acts of kindness, big acts of courage and giant acts of love that you’ve shown over the years.

Acknowledge how far you’ve come as a person – how you picked yourself up and became a new “you”.

You have fallen so many times and fallen hard but unlike many others, you’ll bounce back. You’ll rise each time you fall. Remind yourself how many times you’ve done it. Take comfort in your resilience and find courage in your strength. Yeah, you did it! You got back each time and you know how to get back up every time life throws something worse at you.

Life takes time, sometimes much longer than you would have ever wanted it to take.

Instead of demanding life deliver for you or blaming life for not coming through, trust that your life will fall into place at the right time.

forward

Remember the story of the rabbit and tortoise?  The speedy rabbit hops off to a promising victory only to be passed by the steadfast tortoise who puts one leg in front of the other and keeps going until she crosses the finish line first.

It may feel like you’re inching away at your life but you’re going to get there. Slow and steady patience always wins the day.

You’re not going look around you and see what others are doing with their lives. There’s no point in comparison and you don’t win by playing someone else’s game. Focus on how to keep going until you win your game.

Society defines success for everyone in the same way. You don’t have to play by those rules of success.

Success doesn’t have to be marriage by 30, having kids a couple years later, buying a house a couple years later, and sending your kids off to college even a few more years later.

Yes, that’s the story they tell us but that isn’t the story you have to live.

You can create your own story. You can remain true to yourself. You can show up in the world as who you are. You don’t have to compare yourself to others or strive to be someone you’re not.

  1. Take a deep breath
  2. Remind yourself where you’ve been
  3. Count your blessings
  4. Be patient
  5. Trust life
  6. Surrender
  7. Ignore those around you
  8. Don’t play by society’s rules
  9. Stay true to yourself

You’ve done this so many times – over and over and over.

Walk on your own path. Take your own time.  One day in it’s own way, life will smile down upon you.

In an instant, you will see your scars as the very thing that prepared you for your success.

Your success may come next year or the year after.

You just have to treasure this moment in front of you.

* Looking for more inspiration for 2017? Check out my books on Amazon here.
18 Uplifting Quotes to Keep Going During Difficult Times

18 Uplifting Quotes to Keep Going During Difficult Times

hope

Do you need a boost of uplifting quotes after life’s stumbles and falls?

When you’re facing your darkest hours and your most difficult times, remember better days are ahead. Here at 18 uplifting quotes to help you move forward in life when the future seems bleak and the going gets tough.

18 uplifting quotes to inspire you to keep going:

1. “You may encounter many defeats but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” Maya Angelou

2. “When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” Haruki Murakami

3. “Once you choose hope, anything is possible.” Christopher Reeve

4. “In the middle of every difficulty lies an opportunity.” Albert Einstein

5. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” Winston Churchill

6. “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Winston Churchill

7. “The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.” Chinese Proverb

8. “Failure is a detour, not a dead-end street.” Zig Ziglar

9. “Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.” Oprah Winfrey

10. “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” Robert F. Kennedy

uplifting quotes

11. “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” Marilyn Monroe

12. “We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” E.M. Forster

13. “Arrange whatever pieces come your way.” Virginia Woolf

14. “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Maria Robinson

15. “Defeat is simply a signal to press forward.” Hellen Keller

16. “We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.” Kenji Miyazawa

17. “The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” Viktor E. Frankl

18. “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” C.S. Lewis

If you enjoyed these uplifting quotes, please share these 18 uplifting quotes on Twitter, Google+ and Facebook.

Photo credit Unsplash

9 Ways to Be Productive When You’re in a Slump

9 Ways to Be Productive When You’re in a Slump

stay productive when you're in a slump

A guest post by Kayla Mathews

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas Edison

There are a lot of times when life simply sucks.

Whether it’s something unexpected happening or some ongoing issue that’s keeping you down, life tends to put us on the outs now and again.

Many of us don’t feel like doing anything when life puts us in a slump.

It’s difficult not to think about whatever is wrong and to focus on being productive and motivated.

But here’s the thing: you can be productive, even when life seems like it’s getting the better of you.

Immediately before I left home for college, I started dating someone very special to me.

We had known each other for several years, but I had lost touch with him. Through a long and complicated string of events, we wound up reconnecting and discovered that we both had very strong feelings for one another.

Our timing was terrible, but we wanted to be together. So we began our relationship as a couple during a time when we lived over four hours away from one another. While the start of our relationship was wonderful and exciting, the huge chunks of time we spent apart was not. We both had very little money and couldn’t afford to travel to each other, except for maybe once a month (and even that wasn’t always possible).

I spent tons of time sulking around my college campus, dragging myself out of bed with every pitiful amount of motivation I could muster up. I felt depressed. Not exactly the most uplifting way to manage your first year at college.

I knew that I needed to focus on school and study to get good grades. If I let my emotions get the better of me and failed a class, or decided to drop out altogether (which crossed my mind just about every day), I’d be ruining the best chance I had for my boyfriend and I to have a happy future together.

So I pressed on.

I didn’t always feel like it – in fact I hardly ever felt like it – but I made myself stay productive in school. It was a very difficult year for me, and so was the next year. But I learned some very valuable lessons because of these hardships, and I think they bear repeating.

Life is hard, but it’s also beautiful and wonderful. Terrible things may happen, but you can only know that they’re terrible because of the great things that have already happened to you.

If life has you feeling depressed, out of control, miserable, or just fed up, you should know that it’s okay to feel that way. However, it’s not okay to idly sit by and let your negative feelings rule your life.

The best way to get out of your slump is to stay productive, even during the times when you don’t feel like being productive.

Here are some lessons I learned about how to stay productive when life has you in a slump:

1. Exercise for better sleep and to boost endorphins

Exercise is a greatly underutilized antidepressant. I know that some days it feels like you can barely get out of bed, let alone go for a jog, but exercising is a naturally proven way to increase your body’s feel-good endorphins.

Exercising for at least two and a half hours a week has been shown to significantly improve the quality of sleep you get at night, which positively impacts your overall mental wellness and your energy during the day.

In my personal experience, I’ve also found exercising to be a good way to relieve stress and frustration.

If you go for long jog, chances are that you’ll feel so tired when you get done you won’t even have the energy to be bummed out.

That and endorphin boost can do wonders for your mood and productivity.

2. Remind yourself that being productive now will improve your happiness later

I certainly didn’t always feel like going to class or studying for finals when I was in my slump, but I did it anyway because I knew it would be best for me in the end.

I know it’s hard, but you have to try to look beyond your feelings in the present moment and do what will be most beneficial to your happiness later. If you just sit back and wallow in self-pity, you likely aren’t going to feel better for a very, very long time.

You don’t have to be thrilled about whatever you’re doing, but at least do it so you can keep yourself moving forward, if only ever so slightly.

3. If you can, be productive on your own terms

Depending on what kind of job or daily responsibilities you have, this tip might be harder for you to put into action. What I mean by “be productive on your own terms,” though, is that you should do whatever will help you be most productive, even if it doesn’t seem like something a productive person would do.

There were some days in college when I knew I’d get more done if I spread out my books in bed and stayed in my pajamas all day, rather than going to the library. So I stayed in bed and let myself be motivated by the fact that I got to choose how I was going to be productive that day.

I didn’t go anywhere because I didn’t want to, but I also didn’t sulk in my room. I got things done…but on my own terms.

If it’s possible for you to control some of the terms of your productivity, do so.

It’s okay if they seem less productive to other people; all that matters is that you feel most productive working that way.

4. Be motivated by others in the same situation

Anytime I feel myself falling into negativity, I try to remember that there are definitely hundreds – if not thousands – of other people in the world going through the same thing. And, it seems, many of them don’t get nearly as down or stressed out as I do sometimes.

So, I figure, if they can face the same thing and carry on with their daily lives, so can I.

It’s also helpful to view yourself as part of a group working toward a common goal, rather than as an individual trying to reach a goal or achieve something alone.

5. Find something that you enjoy and do it every day

Another helpful tip for getting out of your funk is to find something that you enjoy and do it every day, even if you only do it for 15 minutes or so.

When I was in college, I discovered that I really liked playing video games  on my handheld, so I invested in a Nintendo DS and started gaming on there for an hour or so a day. Even with all my schoolwork, it was perfectly manageable for me to set aside some time to play each day.

When you do something that you enjoy, you start to focus on that activity, rather than on whatever has you feeling down. This is a good way to start to wean yourself off of your negative emotions and feel something positive again.

If you aren’t into gaming, try reading a book, creating some kind of art, writing, or cooking.

6. Get out of your comfort zone

In addition to doing something you enjoy every day, it’s also important to take small steps outside of your comfort zone. This will help you get out of your slump by boosting your chances of discovering new interests, opportunities and new people.

As you begin to try new things, you’ll likely find new friends who can provide a healthy social support system.

It’s helpful to do things outside of what you’re used to, even if it means doing something as little as going to a different restaurant or sitting outside in the sun for an hour.

7. Engage in emotional or spiritual practices daily

By engaging in spiritual or emotional activities each day, you learn to become more connected with yourself and your feelings.

For me, yoga is an emotionally cathartic practice that makes me feel less stressed, more relaxed, and more in-tune with myself.

Whether you engage in yoga, prayer, meditation or other spiritual practices, know that these are all good stepping stones for fighting off negative thoughts and emotions.

8. Don’t judge yourself

In addition to feeling down because of whatever put you in a slump, you also tend to feel negatively about how you’re feeling.

When you know that you should be productive but feel depressed and sluggish, you’re likely to judge yourself and criticize your emotions. Needless to say, this does very little to help you feel better.

Don’t judge yourself for feeling down. You can’t help the way you feel.

You can, however, feel poorly and still do things that will help you be productive.

You can be miserable and still do homework. Sure, it won’t be fun, but you can make it happen.

Don’t be too hard on yourself when it comes to how you feel. Rather, try to accept your feelings and find ways to cope with them in your daily life.

9. Read or watch something motivational to get you going

If you find that the hardest part of the day is just getting out of bed, you might find it helpful to read or watch something inspiring. This can help you get motivated and get going in the morning and can fuel your actions throughout the rest of the day.

Read some more inspiring articles on Vishnu’s site, follow motivational social accounts, or watch some inspiring YouTube videos. These are all easy things you can do from your smartphone while you’re still in bed in the morning, so you can get inspired and start your day when you are ready.

It can be so easy to let your anger, worries, depression or fear get the better of you in life. But if you don’t do anything to pick yourself up and actively fight against your slump, you’re not even living – are you?

I hope that some of the things I’ve talked about today will resonate with you and inspire you to bounce back and live a productive life in 2015.

You can’t change how you feel, but you can take some of these actions I mentioned above to be productive and get things done.

Start today.

Kayla Matthews is a productivity blogger with a passion for positive thinking and self-improvement. To read more of her latest posts, follow her on Google+ and Twitter, or at ProductivityTheory.com.

How Do You Build a Popular Blog

How Do You Build a Popular Blog

popular blog

You don’t.

You don’t aim for popularity!

Huh!?

Nope, you don’t blog just to build a popular blog.

You blog for meaning. For impact.

You blog to make a difference.

You blog to help others and to serve.

Don’t create a popular blog.

Create a blog that matters, and people will come.

My blogging journey.

I’ve been blogging for a little over two years now. With 1,000 readers and 10,000 monthly views, I wouldn’t say I have a popular blog, but I do have passionate readers – you.

And from time to time I get questions about what I did to build up my blog.

Here are 10 tips to help you start your own blogging journey towards a popular blog that matters.

1. Be passionate about writing (or creating).

This is my number-one tip, and you know what? No one tells you this. If you read all the blogs that tell you how to blog well, not one says that you should have an interest in or a passion for writing.

If you don’t like to write, think twice about blogging because it requires a lot of writing. At a minimum, I’ve written 200,000 words on my blog and in guest posts. That doesn’t include comments, emails and “about” pages!

What if you don’t like to write? You can still become a great blogger if you enjoy creating. That means podcasts, videos, photos or other creative ways of sharing your content.

If you’re not a natural writer and don’t like to write, you can still blog if you commit to becoming a better writer. Commit everyday to building this skill. Put in the hours and practice writing.

2. Know your “why.

blogimpact

Simply put, have a message. Even if you don’t know what your message is, know that you must develop one to build up your blog. You can’t stand among the thousands of blogs out there without standing up for something, without saying what you believe.

It took me awhile to develop my message, which started as spirituality and ended at resilience. My blog’s initial premise was that you could start your spiritual journey today without moving to the Himalayas.

Today, my message is that you can make a comeback in life no matter how bad things get. In the dark of night or the depths of your darkest hour, hope and light exist.

I developed this message because it paralleled my own life. During my darkest and most difficult hour, after my marriage ended, I had a meltdown that inspired this blog. Today I’m able to share this message with others who are in similar places, whether in their careers, relationships or lives.

You will take weeks, months or possibly years to develop a message. Be patient while you craft it.

3. Pick a niche or topic you’re passionate about.

Blogging is hard work. You’re writing, almost always alone, for hours at a time. Just you, your computer, your thoughts and your writing. If you pick a topic you’re not excited about, you’ll get bored quickly and simply give up.

I love blogging because I love the topic I’m writing about: resilience, getting back up, finding your meaning in life, living your purpose. I love it because I can share a message with people who need to hear it. I can share a message with people who are in life-crushing situations and who need hope and encouragement.

It’s difficult for me to write posts on topics and subjects I don’t care about.

Sometimes you have to do work you don’t care about – like your day job. But blogging should be your “passion” business, so focus more on the passion than the business.

Of course, if you don’t have a day job or another means of earning a living, and your service-based business is completely online, you must make money doing work that you may not feel passionate about. My suggestion, then, is to get closer to the intersection of pursuing your passion and earning a living.

4. Guest post.

There are no two ways about it. You have to guest post to grow your blog.

When I publish new content, no matter how great I think it is, I never receive immediate responses or subscribers. Sure, you may have found one of my posts a few weeks or months after I wrote it, but you didn’t find it on the day I published it.

Likely, the way that you, as a new reader, found my blog was by reading an article I wrote on another blog. The best and most effective way I’ve grown my blog is by guest posting. Guest posting requires that you up your game – writing effective, high-quality content for popular blogs.

5. Make friends and get social.

To be successful as a blogger, you need a tribe of readers, followers and allies.

People will NOT simply visit because you’ve built up your blog. You will have to invite them. Let them know you exist.

In addition to guest blogging, I’ve found that these four strategies work.

Use social media to meet and connect with people in your niche. Interact with them on Twitter, share their content on Facebook and +1 their posts on Google +. Add, follow and engage your friends on social media.

Comment on other people’s blogs. If you’ve found a blogger you’d like to connect with, comment on his or her blog. Without question, the blogger will click back on your blog to learn more about you.  Provide smart and insightful comments to help make the blogger’s posts even better. Other commenters and readers will also read your comment and possibly check out your page.

Email people. I’ve met some of my readers and other bloggers simply by emailing them or responding to their emails about a post that I wrote or a question they had. Email still works in terms of building relationships and meeting new people.

Meet bloggers in person. I’ve met a handful of bloggers in person through meetups, lunches and other get-togethers. If you get a chance, take the opportunity to meet a blogger in person. Don’t let your relationships always be cyber ones – bloggers are real people, too.

6. Listen to your audience.

Your audience has questions, problems and challenges. They’re willing to share their struggles with you. Be willing to listen to what they say.

Pay special attention to reader emails and questions. If you get a question repeatedly, respond to the asker by email, but also write a post addressing the question so that you can deliver your response to a bigger audience.

Survey your audience. Use Survey Monkey and send a survey to your readers, asking them about their challenges and problems. If you’re thinking about writing a book or designing a course, find out how interested in it they would be.

Your readers will willingly share their opinions and thoughts with you.

7. Work on becoming a better blogger.

Blogging, like anything else in life, is a process that takes time and practice. Here are four mini-tips on becoming a better blogger.

Learn more. So many free resources are available online to help you become a better blogger. Three sites that I read regularly are Unmistable Creative, the Middle Finger Project and Social Unmistakable Creative, The Middle Finger Project and Social Triggers. I like these blogs because they dispense free, practical tips that help me improve my blog.

Get inspired. Read and follow not only blogs that help you blog better, but also those that inspire you. Know where you’re going and what you’re trying to build. From the very beginning, three blogs have inspired me: Zen Habits, Becoming Minimalist and Tiny Buddha.

These blogs focus on topics different from mine, but they still inspire me to blog better (and, hey, even live better!). These popular blogs had strong messages that impacted people’s lives.

Collect ideas. Blog topics come from brainstorming sessions and inspiration, so always be on the lookout for ideas. Keep a journal to write down ideas when they pop up.

Your best ideas and thoughts will come to you at the most random moments.

Edit. Don’t just write a piece and hit the “publish” button. Take the time to review, edit and improve your post. If you have the funds, hire an editor to proofread and edit for grammar and spelling, and to ensure that the post makes sense.

8. Commit to the long-term.

There’s no such thing as overnight success in the blog world. Success requires relationships and blockbuster content. All of this takes time to build and create.

Are you willing to blog for the long haul? Will you spend the hours necessary to churn out content? Are you willing to put your passion to the test? Will you put yourself out there for responses (some nice and some not so nice) from your readers?

Are you willing to sacrifice several hours a week for your blog? Willing to wake up early to write, spend Friday evenings responding to readers and take all weekend working on your dreams?

9. Be helpful, generous and different.

Help and serve your audience. Solve your readers’ problems. Provide content your audience needs. If one reader has a challenge, others who come to your blog will have similar challenges.

Give generously. As a blogger, you have the opportunity to give to people on a regular basis. Freely share as much content as you’re comfortable with.

Reduce the number of ads and hindrances on your blog. Remove pop-ups and invitations for people to subscribe. Yes, such invitations are effective, but they’re also annoying.

Give by sharing other people’s content generously. Tweet a blogger’s post that you liked, or share it on your Facebook page. Keep up with blogs that you enjoy reading. Add value by leaving a comment. Show support by being there for your blogger pals.

Be different. Don’t be just another blog on the Internet. Don’t be another raincoat, umbrella or bowl of chocolate-flavored ice-cream. Be known for something. Differentiate yourself in some way so that your blog stands out in the crowded blogosphere.

Use excellent photos that you take yourself. 

Write thought-provoking content, or write about topics that no one else covers.

Conduct interviews.

Be personable, humorous or vulnerable in your writing. (And, this goes without saying, always be yourself.)

Find a way to stand out.

10. Start.

You can read articles like this from today until the next century, and still one thing won’t change: you’ll still be waiting to build up your blog.

I have one suggestion for people who aren’t sure whether they should blog. It’s what I did. Write 10 posts about the topic that interests you. No, you won’t get feedback and you won’t get comments, but you’ll prove to yourself that you can write 10 articles. If you’re able to write 10 articles and not hate the experience, you’re ready to blog.

To start:

1)   Brainstorm, check and buy a domain name for your blog.

2)   Get hosting services through Bluehost. (It’s affordable, reliable and the hosting that I use for Vishnu’s Virtues.) You can click here for a free blog name and 50% discount on Bluehost hosting.

3)   Pick a theme like Thesis (the one I use for my blog) or Genesis (many bloggers recommend this one.)

4)   Write content and click “publish.”

And, of course, let me know that you’ve started blogging. I try to keep up with as many of my readers’ blogs as I have time for. Send me a tweet on Twitter or email me using the contact form at the bottom of my blog. I’d love to check out what you’re creating.

Photo Credit Ron Cogswell and Upslon

30 Women (Bloggers) I Can’t Live Without

30 Women (Bloggers) I Can’t Live Without

Can you start your day without a cup of Starbucks Caramel Frappuccino or Malaysian Boh tea?

Or make your vacation plans without talking to your personal psychic?

Exactly. Me neither.

If you can’t drink your favorite morning beverage or know what your astrological outlook is, how can you live your life?

Similarly, if you’re a blogger, how can you go it alone?

You can’t.

Fifty percent of blogging involves creating content that helps people. The other 50 percent involves relationships.

So who do I turn to when I need a morale boost, a dash of motivation, or a burst of creativity? Whose blogs helped me turn things around, rebuild my life, and become a better version of myself? Whose blogs do I read for career, coaching and living advice?

These 30 women.

Let me introduce you to 30 powerful voices online that are lanterns of hope, strength, and resilience. I am grateful to every one of them.

Inspirational Bloggers and Coaches

amita patel

1. Amita Patel—If you’re ready to change your life from the inside out, you should check out Amita’s blog. There’s no better person from whom to learn about changing your life than someone who has done so herself. Do you have a high-pressure family? Check. Have you sought external sources of happiness? Check. Diagnosis? Check. Medication? Check. If you’re curious about how Amita went from being a victim to the hero of her own life, read her blog! Her straightforward, no-nonsense approach will help you change your life.

Angel

2. Angel Chernoff—Angel is one half of the Marc and Angel Hack Life blog, which provides practical advice to help others live up to their potential. Her blog is bursting with energy, inspiration, and useful tips on an almost daily basis. When not churning out blog posts that can literally change your life, Angel tweets, shares Facebook posts, and offers Instagram updates that boost the spirit. Her (and husband Mark’s) greatest inspiration and newest addition, baby Mac, makes their updates even more adorable. How long before “Marc and Angel and Mac dot com” comes into existence?

balroop

3. Balroop Singh writes the blog Emotional Shadows, and has a very unique voice on the blogosphere. She writes about emotional resilience, happiness, contentment, and more. Her blog is an instant pick-me-up and will always leave you feeling inspired. She offers not only inspiration, but also thought-provoking life questions that make one think. Are contentment and happiness the same thing? What shapes our personalities? What are the meanings behind words like “spirituality” and “happiness”?

bhavana

4. Bhavana Nissima writes the socially conscious blog Earthwoman. An Indian blogger and writer, Bhavana offers wisdom and advocacy that shines through even her short tweets and Facebook posts. She regularly blogs about women’s empowerment, religion, sexual identity and freedom, relationships, the caste system, and more. Bhavana uses the written word to be a champion not only for women in India, but for women everywhere. Her writings will be discovered around the world before long, and her voice will become a roaring call for women’s equality in India.

caroline leon

5. Caroline Leon transformed her life. Now she chronicles her journey and provides information about how you, as well, can live a limitless life. Via her blog, she writes and coaches about such issues as overcoming fear, loving oneself more, and going after one’s dreams. Caroline’s blog is raw, honest, and vulnerable. Reading her blog will encourage you to go within, to become more aware of the life that you’re living, and to start making improvements.

celestine-chua

6. Celestine Chua—I met Celes recently in Singapore and found her to be as inspiring in person as she is online. She’s the founder of the Personal Excellence Blog, and is also a coach, speaker, and media personality. The advice on her blog about relationships, productivity, and purpose is both practical and helpful. Celes openly shares her life experiences and struggles; in so doing, she inspires a global audience to pursue personal excellence. Whenever I read her blog, I feel motivated to do more and to achieve my dreams.

corinne

7. Corrine Rodriguez is a Mumbai-based blogger, writer, and motivator who helms the Everyday Gyaan blog. She regularly takes her readers through journeys of gratitude, happiness, and creativity. Corinne uses her life as an example of how to live, how to improve, and how to become a better person. One of her blog’s highlights is the fact that it’s socially conscious and regularly takes on difficult subjects so that they’re brought to light.

debbie

8. Debbie Hampton is a survivor of life. Despite decades of depression, a suicide attempt, and an ensuing brain injury, Debbie kept going and stayed strong. At her absolute lowest point in life, after losing her brother and facing the end of her marriage, Debbie found herself in a coma after swallowing 90 pills. From this low point, Debbie decided that she would no longer live in such a manner. Slowly, she recovered and started making radical changes. With the help of various therapies, yoga, meditation, and a keen desire to understand the brain, Debbie made a remarkable comeback. She now dedicates her writing and her blog, The Best Brain Possible, to helping others understand and improve their own brains, focusing on behaviors, emotions, and thoughts.

elle

9. Elle Sommers writes a blog called Reflecting a Life, where she dishes out actionable tips for abundant living. Whatever your dream is, and even if you don’t have one yet, Elle’s blog will help you discover and pursue it, enhancing your life in the process. Whether you are dealing with change, need some encouragement, or are trying to get motivated, you’ll enjoy reading Elle’s blog. It radiates with love, positivity, and abundance.

lilou mace

10. Lilou Mace—Lilou inspired me to quit my job, co-create, start my blog, and live a more conscious life. I’m so grateful for her web-interview series, through which she’s introduced me to leading spiritual thinkers and modern-day philosophers. This series, seen by millions of people, not only motivates viewers, but also teaches them to be better people. Lilou is a reminder that you can do anything you want and that you should go after your dreams. We are watching her online now, but she’ll be hosting the Lilou Mace Television Show before we know it.

Lori Gosselin

11. Lori Gosselin is the blogger behind Life, for Instance. Think of her blog as a porch where you gather to discuss life. How do we deal with failure, overwhelm, despair, and fear? How do we laugh, stay inspired and hopeful, and find happiness in our lives? Lori shows up for coffee in the morning and is usually available throughout the day to check in with her regular customers. A couple years back, Lori lost her 23-year-old son in an accident. Despite this unimaginable life event, Lori got back to writing and blogging. She openly speaks about the loss of her son. Behind every word she writes, I see the soul of one of the most resilient people I know.

luminita

12. Luminita Saviuc is the creator of the lighthouse of the Internet, Purpose Fairy. A survivor of life and of a turbulent childhood, Luminita has taken all of her struggles and turned them into one of the Internet’s most illuminating places. If you’re dealing with trauma, pain, heartbreak, or life-crippling circumstances, find your way home by reading Luminita’s writings. Her personal examples and words of wisdom can be both healing and transformational. Her talk at the Mindvalley Awesomenessfest offered one of the most courageous personal stories I’ve ever heard. Look for Luminita on her blog, but also look for her sitting next to Oprah before too long.

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13. Swapna Raghu Sanand writes and blogs via Petals from the Heart, where she is extremely honest and open about her personal struggles and challenges. She blogs about how to be a better person, as well as a more resilient and spiritual one. A talented wordsmith, she uses a toolbox of words to tell stories, make us think, make us cry and inspire us. Swapna mixes up her inspirational posts with posts containing book reviews, movie reviews, and tales of motherhood. While she writes book reviews for a global audience, I can’t wait for the day when she shares with us excerpts from the book that she’s going to write herself.

Varonica Frye

14. Varonica Frye teaches people to hug their fears and go after their dreams. Instead of trying to become fearless, Varonica shows you, through her appropriately titled blog, Hug Your Fear, to live with fear, work through fear, and take action despite your fear. Her courageous blog offers personal examples: how she quit her job, reconnected with her father, reached out to people around the world, and more. I enjoy reading her blog because she regularly introduces us to folks around the world who are facing their fears and taking big actions in pursuit of their dreams. After reading Varonica, you’ll start feeling braver and, eventually, unstoppable.

vidya

15. Vidya Sury is a freelance writer, blogger, and author. She shares how-to advice, health tips, inspiring daily reflections about her family, and photos from around Bangalore, where she lives. Vidya is the epitome of inspiration. Each of her posts will bring a smile to your face. If you’re going to a coffee shop, there is no better companion to pull up on your iPad than Vidya. No matter what’s going on in her life, Vidya shows us how she gets through it. In the process, she helps us face our own struggles and life challenges.

Zeenat

16. Zeenat Merchant Syal is a psychological counselor, holistic healer, and writer at Positive Provocations. She’s a spiritual soul who fosters kindness, compassion, and love with every utterance on her blog. If you’re healing from past hurts and pain, and feeling hopeless, visit this online oasis of positivity. When you read Zeenat or follow her on social media, you’ll feel the love! If you’re feeling stuck in life and need a transformation, this is the blog for you.

Career

barrie

17. Barrie Davenport—Barrie is a certified life passion coach who helps people find their passions so that they can live their best lives. If you don’t believe you have a life passion, or you’re not sure what yours is, check out Barrie’s blog. In addition to helping people find their way in life, Barrie teaches them to build up their confidence and create good habits that stick.

farnoosh

18. Farnoosh Brock—Since I’m writing only briefly about each woman here, I’ll have to try to limit all the good things that I can say about Farnoosh Brock of Prolific Living. I had the pleasure of meeting Farnoosh in Southern California at (where else?) a green juice café. 🙂 Farnoosh left her corporate job to write and coach others to live their truth. In addition to providing information about living a prolific life, Farnoosh can help you get ahead in your job, quit your job, or determine which job is right for you. Farnoosh is one of the most down-to-earth, friendly, and helpful people you’ll ever meet.

jenny foss

19. Jenny Foss—Jenny Foss is the best friend and coach you need when you’re looking for work, updating your resume, or learning the ins and outs of LinkedIn. She has a true gift for taking job hunting principles and serving them up, through her blog, Job Jenny, in the form of practical, lively, and often funny nuggets of wisdom. So many boring and unhelpful career advice blogs are out there; this is not one of them. If career advice puts you to sleep and you had resigned yourself to staying in your job for the next 50 years, you need Job Jenny on your side. You can either hate your boss, or work with Job Jenny and navigate your career like a boss. Her resume and cover letter kits, like her, are ridiculously awesome!

Business

Janet Brent

20. Janet BrentJanet Brent is a friend; I really do need to meet her, since we chat just about every day, and we’re not that far away from each other geographically. (Of course, she’s never in the U.S., but globe hopping most of the time.) Janet decided to quit the life that she had and live a bigger life, which includes world travel and her own freelancing business. She read all those blogs about becoming a suitcase entrepreneur and actually did it. A graphic artist and freelance designer, Janet helps people create visually appealing e-book layouts and market their e-books. She’s a designer with plenty of heart, wisdom, and courage.

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21. Razwana Wahid—Razwana Wahid is a bartender of words and wisdom. That’s a funny way to describe a friend who I turn to for most blogging, coaching, and life questions. If you have an online business and need to stand out, read Razwana’s blog for tagline advice, copywriting tips, and branding help. She doesn’t do “same old” or clichéd; everything she writes is unique and persuasive, and just might make you fall on the floor laughing. It’s also filled with practicality and truth. If you need your online business to reflect how awesome you are and, more importantly, to deliver results, you need Razwana on your writing team.

Wisdom

Julie Barret

22. Julie Barrett—Julie reminds you that you’re an intuitive with your own spiritual team. Her spiritual blog offers glimpses into her life story. If you want to better understand yourself and the intuitive voices that guide you, check out Julie’s blog. It’s a great place for self-reflection, learning, and wisdom about how to contact your spirit-guides to live your soul’s purpose. Julie is a great story-teller and has the funniest anecdotes on life (based on her own life)!

lori deschene

23. Lori Deschene—I love Tiny Buddha; I also love Lori Deschene, who runs Tiny Buddha! Lori has created a global community of people who share with and learn from each other. Experience is the best teacher, and every day, on Tiny Buddha, regular people from around the world share their life experiences. Lori is proof that one person can affect and change so many people’s lives. The community that she’s created is a light of hope for many. I’ve acquired so much life wisdom from the Tiny Buddha community, and immeasurably more from Lori, about how to be a compassionate, caring, and generous person.

martha

24. Martha Orlando is a blogger and author of the Glade series of books. She is a prolific writer who simultaneously churns out regular blog posts and novels. Her devotional blog is one of my favorites. She weaves in her observations, personal life events, and devotional stories to inspire each of us to seek the truth. She packs a church sermon and prayer into every one of her posts. If you’re looking for more peace or grace in your life, get your weekly blessings at Martha’s blog.

melissa tandoc

25. Melissa Tandoc is a former Catholic nun who returned to her worldly life after a decade or so in the order. She’s a friend who inspires in her own quiet and unassuming way via the Ahuv Sheli blog. Steeped in faith, her writings urge us to seek the divine within. Sometimes she writes in parables, and sometimes she writes with poetry, but she always speaks with divine truth. She’s motivated me to live a more purpose-driven and inward-seeking life.

sandra pawula

26. Sandra Pawula is a wise teacher who invites her audience to go within, to be more mindful, and to find personal happiness. A visit to her blog will inspire you to slow down and live a softer, gentler life. She makes us think about what we’re doing, why we’re doing it, and how to be more mindful about it. In a world that embraces a fast-paced lifestyle and mindless living, Sandra’s blog is for anyone who wants to go against that norm. If happiness, peace, and inner fulfillment matter to you, sit on Sandra’s porch and take notes. (I don’t mean show up at her house and literally sit on her porch; I mean, visit her blog, Always Well Within.)

Parenting and Home

Our gift from the universe.

27. Alex Simpson—Alex is the creative, better (lol), and blogger half of the Rolex couple. She (Alex) and her then-fiancé (Rod) created the celebrity nickname “Ro Lex” or “Rolex” and turned it into a blog after the two met and fell in love. They married and their story became sweeter with the introduction of baby Henry. For plenty of northern California travel photos, how-to tips on raising kids, and ADORABLE baby pics, check out Alex’s blog. Alex (and Rod) are two of the handful of people in the blogosphere whom I’ve met in person. We were friends before our blogs began. I was at their wedding and personally met baby Henry. This blog is one of my favorites.

cathy treatment talk

28. Cathy Taughinbaugh is the writer and coach behind Treatment Talk. Her blog is the go-to place for parents dealing with children who are addicted to drugs and alcohol. She regularly blogs about how to cope with having an addicted child and how to support the child without experiencing the guilt and shame that typically accompanies such a situation. This blog is an essential resource for any parent dealing with the unimaginable. Cathy provides resources, encouragement, guidance, and coaching. I read her blog religiously because it helps people start over and deal with life’s serious problems. It also teaches us how to experience more joy in our lives.   

jodysaveslives

29. Jody Lamb—Imagine that you’re a kid with a parent addicted to drugs or alcohol. To whom would you turn for solace and guidance? Jody Lamb. Jody’s mission in life is to be there for these kids, through her blog, her book Easter Ann Peters, Operation Cool, her talks at schools, and her advocacy. Jody grew up as a child surrounded by alcoholism; however, she has taken that challenging experience and used it as the basis of her efforts to help children cope with similar situations. She not only survived a childhood with alcoholic parents, but has faced other adversity as well. Somehow, she’s been able to roll with it, write fiction about it, and be the voice for countless kids who might not have anywhere else to turn.

wendy Irene

30. Wendy Irene—Wendy blogs at Give Love Create Happiness. If Oprah, Martha Stewart, Giada De Laurentiis, and Ina Garten started a blog together, it would look a lot like Wendy’s. In addition to offering delicious vegan recipes and seasonal creative projects, Wendy shares guided meditations that she’s filmed and placed on YouTube to help moms (and all of us) find inner peace. Her gift is to transform healthy eating, meditation, and even household creative projects into things that anyone can do. I can’t wait for Wendy’s blog to become a magazine or television show. 🙂

Check these blogs out and change your life. If you could do me a quick favor and share this with the people you love via Twitter or Facebook, I’d appreciate it!

You Don’t Have to Have All the Answers Right Now

You Don’t Have to Have All the Answers Right Now

bird song

I don't do songs. Or Karaoke.

“A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.” Maya Angelou

I wanted to have a baby.

I don’t mean me personally, but you get it – to father a child (Modern medicine hasn’t quite allowed men to carry another human yet!!).

At one time in my life, not too long ago, the desire to have a baby was a life priority for me. And not having a child was a serious loss in my life. I can’t tell you why I wanted one or if I was ready to have been a father, but it seemed like the right thing to do.

After not having a child in my life, I was fraught with disappointment and sadness.

My marriage ended. There was no baby in sight. This image of a laughing child in my dreams became blurrier and more distant than ever.

I could have been devastated by a dream lost but I have chosen to follow a different path.

Believing that everything happens for a reason, I let go of my attachment to this unborn child.

I let go of my desire to have a child.

I let go of my timeline to have a child.

And most importantly, I let go of my desire to know if a child was in my future or not (the demands, expectations and urge to know and make plans).

Over the last couple of years, I’ve gone through this arduous personal development journey, many parts of which I write about, realizing that I may not have been the ideal father in the first place, or much less a prepared one or even a competent one.

If I wasn’t emotionally healthy myself, nor had the patience or ability to care for a baby, was I really ready to be a parent?

A baby then would have been ill-served having me as their father.

Since the time that the possibility of a baby abruptly disappeared from my life, I chose to forge ahead without knowing what the future holds. 

Instead of being stuck to a specific timeline over something I have no control over, I spent a lot of time with my adorable baby nephews and try to visit them at every chance I get.

nephew and I

My nephew and I.

Not knowing my future brought me to where I am today.

I’ve had similar experiences with my career path.

I had NO IDEA what I wanted to do with my life in college. Like many students, I didn’t have the answers to what my future held or what I should be doing with my life.

I never received any clear calls from the Gods as to my life vocation. (But my Indian parents did call me a lot to let me know about the benefits of becoming a doctor – service to humanity and beach-front property!)

What do you do when you don’t know what the future holds?

Well, I did something that I was weak at and wanted to improve on. Public speaking. Although I enjoyed writing speeches and speaking in public, it wasn’t my strongest point. I spoke too fast, sometimes too slow and I never understood the mechanics of effective public speaking.

Near campus, I joined a Toastmasters group which was dedicated to helping people improve their public speaking skills. I participated in this professional group for 3 years, being the only student in the group.

I never knew exactly where public speaking would take me the entire time I was in Toastmasters.

It was only when I was nearing graduation, when having the public speaking skills and confidence inspired me to consider going into law (That and my parents who had sadly come to terms with the fact that I wasn’t going to be a doctor).

Ultimately, law was not a career I stuck with. On the plus side though, my legal background has brought me to a place where I am able to speak in front of large groups of people. Whether it’s at a community meeting, workshop or even a family get-together, I have no hesitation when standing up to speak.

My point is that I had no idea what I wanted to do but I forged ahead anyway, without knowing the answers.

Doing something that interested me and helped me improve, like public speaking, is now an integral part of my destiny.

How do you move forward when you don’t know how or when you’ll get there? 

path

How do you create the life that you’ve been envisioning and the life your heart seems to be longing for?

When you feel like your whole life has turned upside down and you’re a long way from living the dreams you created in your mind years ago, it’s easy to feel paralyzed.

When you feel frustrated by your life’s current circumstances or just plain stuck, you might feel like throwing your hands up in the air and saying, “I give up”.

Your career isn’t moving along. You have no idea where your business is going. Your partner isn’t showing up. The baby you’ve bought baby clothes for isn’t quite here yet.

I notice that many of us tend to clutch to our end goals. When we cling on to the desired outcome, we are left with the feeling of not having achieved it. We feel a lacking in our lives.

But fortunately, you don’t have to be paralyzed by the thoughts of not achieving your dreams. Nor do you have to feel frustrated by the lack of movement in your life.

Instead of being stuck on the fact that you don’t have what you want, try this.

1. Be OK with not knowing.

Be perfectly comfortable in not knowing the answers or having clarity in your life.

Let waves of uncertainty and confusion wash over you without attaching yourself to the frustration of not knowing.

Practice sitting with uncertainty. Learn to be comfortable not knowing the answers of where your journey is going to take you.

2. Do something. Anything at all.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step,” declared Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu.

Whatever your dream or desire is, take some small steps daily towards that goal without being paralyzed by or fixated on the end result.

Meet people if you want to be in a relationship. You don’t need to meet “the one” today.

Look for a compatible partner who also wants children if you’re firmly set on having kids.

Start learning new skills, attending more training, do some volunteer work or freelancing if you are keen on transitioning into a completely different industry.

Take small concrete steps towards your goal.

Bombay wasn’t built in a day. It was built one brick at a time, over centuries.

3. Listen intently.

As you’re taking small steps and moving forward, listen to your soul’s messages. Your feelings and your inner voice will be conveying messages to you.

You’ll hear these messages through your mind’s subtle messages, repeated internal thoughts or feelings that will guide you in a certain direction.

The inner voice, or intuition, will sometimes tell you to continue. Or it may tell you to stop. Alternatively, it may advise you to change your game plan. Or to perhaps even to abandon your dream.

It might convince you that something that you’re chasing isn’t right for you and you’ll be better off with something else.

Whatever it is, be mindful of your inner voice and be willing to listen to it.

4. Be open to life’s gifts and timelines.

No, you may not get exactly what you want and at the time you want it.

Instead of demanding a certain result at a certain time, be open to whatever it is that unfolds before you.

If Prince Harry doesn’t knock, but a short banker with a stable job and a loyal spirit does, open the door!

If your dream job working for Facebook doesn’t materialize, consider the job at the small start-up as an opportunity to learn and grow.

Be open, be patient, and be confident knowing what is meant for you will come to you in due course.

5. Every circumstance is a lesson in disguise.

Although you’re not getting what you want right now, know that every situation has a message for us.

Every life circumstance can become our teacher.

If you start viewing every twist, turn and hiccup as an opportunity and lesson, instead of an unfulfilled dream, you’ll have a much healthier and happier journey forward.

Ask yourself what a delay means?

Or what can it teach you?

Where is the blessing in this circumstance?

What can you be grateful for right now?

There is a soulful tranquility about not knowing what the future holds and simply being OK with it.

Embrace uncertainty and welcome the magic of possibilities unfolding in your life.

Your ability to manage the unknown can be the ultimate source of your strength and wisdom in life.

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Photo credit roberthuffstutter and Splitshire