“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” Mahatma Gandhi
For most of my life, I valued and lived by the rule that the busier I am, the better.
And the more speed and momentum I had, the more I felt I was ‘progressing’ in life.
While there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking lots of action and seizing the day, when we find ourselves in a perpetual rat race, struggle to keep up and begin to put ourselves and our health last, problems arise.
Last year at one stage, I found myself working 3 jobs, plus studying part time.
Did I feel like an “I-can-do-anything” Superwoman at the time? Absolutely! But did I also sacrifice my sleep, my family time, my social life, my eating habits, my exercise, my alone time and my hobbies? Absolutely!
It was only when I began to feel disconnected from my true self, anxious, always on the run, grumpy and irritable around my loved ones, and burnt out and exhausted to the point where I literally could not wake up at all one whole weekend (yes, I actually lost count of how many hours I slept!) that I realised that something had to change.
I began by slowing down, taking stock of my life and asking myself the question we all dread to ask ourselves: “where am I going?”. It’s amazing how the veil of ‘being busy’ gave me no time to think about just ‘where’ being perpetually busy was taking me – and even more importantly, WHO being perpetually busy was turning me into.
Then I spent the next 6 months actively reconnecting with myself and restoring more balance in my life.
With divine help, I made some much-needed positive changes in life including developing a closer spiritual connection with God and cultivating more faith…
developing a beautiful romantic relationship;
resigning from a job that was not serving me;
relaxing my mind and healing myself through Reiki;
launching my own small Reiki business…
detoxing my life more of negative energies;
sleeping more;
consciously beginning to acknowledge and let go of ‘ego’ habits such as pride;
spending more time with my family;
engaging in my hobbies such as writing and creativity more;
and developing healthier eating habits.
Here are 8 strategies I’ve learnt – and am still learning – on the road to creating a more balanced and authentic life.
1) Begin to see yourself as a HOLISTIC BEING (mind, body, heart and soul)
“Each of us is a house with four rooms – a Physical, a Mental, an Emotional and a Spiritual Room. We tend to live in one room most of the time. But unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person.” – Rumer Godden
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learnt through life, through practising Reiki and through my Holistic Counselling studies is that we are a multi-faceted, rather than one dimensional, being. And that balance comes when we begin to take care of these 4 aspects of ourselves, rather than just one or two.
It may sound complex to juggle 4 aspects of yourself, plus other aspects of life, but it is more straightforward than we think because our external world is a reflection of our internal world, and therefore positive internal shifts lead to positive external shifts, thus slowly creating a more harmonious existence.
And let me tell you from personal experience that even one small consistent change (such as the ones below) can lead to huge internal shifts and many other unexpected and positive results because our minds, bodies, hearts and souls are so intricately connected to each other.
♦ Some ways to nourish your Body: sleep more, exercise more, dance more, eat more natural and unprocessed food.
♦ Some ways to nourish your Mind: read more, do more creative writing, journal your feelings and thoughts more.
♦ Some ways to nourish your Heart: do more random acts of kindness, volunteer or give to charity, do more nice things for your family, friends or partner, do things you love doing more.
♦ Some ways to nourish your Soul: pray more, meditate more, write down your inner most dreams more.
Do more things that nourish ALL aspects of your holistic self such as Reiki, Yoga and Meditation.
2) Slow down and once in a while and ask yourself and God: “What can I change to make my life better and more authentic?”
Asking myself this question helped me reconnect with the person I was underneath my tiredness and grumpiness: the person who was desperate for peace and balance.
Asking yourself reflective questions like this may feel raw at first, but can lead to many positive results after. After all, we can only positively change the things that we first acknowledge as needing to be changed.
3) Create a personal Vision Board
Once we have acknowledged some things in our lives that can be positively changed or refined, we can choose to set some goals, dreams and visions and then create a Vision Board.
This board can be made simply by pinning to a pinboard the images, words, inspirational quotes and feelings we wish to cultivate more of in your life.
This is especially beneficial if you’re a visual learner and has worked really well for me personally.
As well as setting goals, allow room on your board for fate and the unexpected. The beauty of a Vision Board is that it can change over time as our lives and our dreams change.
Remember that setting up a board is not about being rigid or having a narrow vision, but about positive and flexible goal setting.
4) Switch off the TV, computer, phone and music from time to time.
Being accessible and ‘on call’ 24/7 means that we often don’t have time to breathe, let alone be alone with our true thoughts and feelings.
It’s okay to switch technology off from time to time.
Give yourself permission to do it, and you will find you have so much more free time than you realised.
5) Go out in nature more
We may often suppress, rather than fully express, our true selves in our daily lives. But in nature and environments where we are free from external glares, judgement, and expectations, we can be the person we are in our heart: fully ourselves.
To reconnect with your true nature more, spend more time in nature more.
It’s as simple as that.
6) Live more simply and from the heart.
The more I live, the more I am convinced that life is inherently simple.
And that being as straightforward and in tune with your intuition as possible is the best policy.
Listening to your inner signals and your intuition (heart), rather than overthinking everything (mind) may take longer to learn and implement (I’m still learning too) but it will be worth the effort.
By clearing and relaxing our minds, we become more in tune with our intuition and our lives begin to seem much more simple.
And we literally breathe easier.
7) Focus inward rather than outward.
Let’s remember that our only competition in life is the person we were yesterday, so never compare your life with others.
To others, it may not seem like my life has changed or that I have changed over the past 6 months. But I know it has, and that I have, and that is enough for me.
It may not seem like I am ‘progressing’ on the outside, but I know better and that is enough for me (and I have a different perception of ‘progress’ now too).
Remind yourself of 3 things:
Life is not a race – with ourselves or with others.
Dreams don’t have an expiration date.
Direction is as important as speed. Don’t just rush into things. Take it slow and choose your direction wisely and consciously.
8) Cultivate more patience…in relation to yourself and life.
Don’t rush any changes you make, force any new habits, or expect results overnight.
Instead, let’s honour the time it takes to do something, to develop a new habit or routine, and to see positive changes occur.
Just like seeds don’t grow into flowers overnight, new habits need time to grow and flourish.
They say it takes 30 days to form a new habit, so be patient with yourself and kind to yourself, especially in the beginning.
Because we are all a work in progress and constantly learning and evolving.
That is the beauty of life.
And finally…
remember to give yourself lots of support and credit, because working on our internal world is always more challenging than working on our external world.
You are amazing already for the efforts you have made and are continuing to make!
Tatiana Stoianovski is a Reiki Healer and Founder of Inspired Self. For daily inspiration and wisdom for the Mind, Body, Heart and Soul, please visit her Inspired Self Facebook page and follow her on Instagram. She looks forward to connecting! *Photo credit
I remember one Christmas when I was growing up and wanted a big box of Legos.
I’m not talking about one of those tiny sets that would build a castle; I’m talking about the whole enchilada—an entire kingdom. This was a giant Lego box that I, along with my brothers, deeply desired, but all December I remained uncertain as to whether or not I would be gifted this luxury.
I remember that, during the weeks leading up to Christmas, I was filled with anxiety. I remember having discussions with my parents about the box’s cost. My Indian parents reminded me that the Lego set was a big sacrifice and financial commitment on their part.
Christmas day came and, ultimately, my brothers and I received the Lego set we wanted—but it was after much anxiety and uncertainty.
A couple of other incidents in my childhood had similar lasting impacts. One was the constant talk in my family about money and whether or not various things were affordable. I’m sure this is a conversation that occurs in every household, but the predominant thought in my family regarding every purchase was, “Can we afford it?”
I guess the incidents that stood out the most, and that were the most embarrassing, for me involved school projects and field trips that families had to pay for. I recall that, regardless of the field trip or event, my parents would inquire whether a fee reduction or scholarship of some sort was available.
Now, let me say three things here.
One, many of these behaviors could have been cultural—Indian people hate to pay full price for anything. It’s why they have a love/hate relationship with America. Their earning capacities are high, and they constitute one of the wealthiest communities out there, but they can’t fathom paying full price for anything.
In the motherland, we bargain, negotiate, plead, and coerce shopkeepers, dentists, and even auto drivers to give us the best possible prices.
Two, as immigrants to the United States and operators of a new business, my parents were doing something inherently risky. Having invested their lives’ assets into a small family business was nerve-wracking. Being in a new country like the United States, running a business, and managing a family’s finances was hard work.
What I’m saying is that my parents were certainly in a financial crunch and that the money issues our family faced were likely real.
Since graduating from law school, I’ve run my own businesses in the United States and know the highly unpredictable nature of business. Until the next client comes along, you never know whether you can meet your monthly expenses or hit your bottom line.
Three, I want to say that although I don’t blame my parents for the rocky financial situation I faced during childhood, I do think it affected me. When you’re constantly being told that your family doesn’t have enough, or that it’s unclear whether your family can meet simple expenses, you end up with fearful attitudes about money and constantly feel as though you don’t have enough.
The money-related anxiety and fear that our parents instill in us can damage us financially for life.
When you want to live a richer life, you forget about the underlying subconscious script playing at the back of your mind. You don’t realize that your entire outlook and ability to earn is being held back by your beliefs and blocks about money.
Simply put: You can’t invite more money into your life until you change your beliefs and subconscious thoughts about money.
You can read all the blogs, books, and magazine articles in the world, but your money situation is not going to change until you address the underlying beliefs about it.
If you’ve grown up in a household that was tight about finances (and I’ll just say any Indian or Asian household), you likely have certain beliefs about money that are not based on reality but, instead, are based on traditions or mindsets cultivated over generations.
Some common false beliefs about money include:
Money doesn’t grow on trees.
You have to work very hard for money.
You can either be happy or rich.
Earning money is a struggle.
Money is scarce and difficult to accumulate.
More money, more problems.
You’re not a good person if you’re rich.
The more money you have, the more snobbish you are.
You need to save up your money for a long time to be wealthy.
You get the idea.
You have, I have, we all have been inundated with these limiting beliefs about money. Many of us have taken these beliefs to heart and have allowed them to shape our views of the world.
So when you’re struggling with money issues or having difficulty making ends meet, you must attack the root cause of your problems—your money mindset.
You have very deep, subconscious, and psychological fears about money.
Would it be fair to call this an emotional money trauma?
When you grow up without enough food to eat, you’re likely to feel that you might run out of food.
It’s the same with love. When you don’t have enough love as a child, you’ll tend to feel rejected and abandoned throughout your life.
Ditto with money. When you struggle with money during your formative years, you’ll have some deep emotional wounds and, consequently, believe you’ll never have enough of it.
Forget about making money for now. There are plenty of programs, methods, and people out there who will tell you how to earn more money.
It’s not your bank account you should be concerned with, but your money mindset.
Let’s get to the root issues surrounding money.
Here are 10 strategies that can help you shift your thoughts about money and help you live a richer life.
1. Visualize your abundance.
Instead of thinking about what you don’t have and what you’re lacking, think about what you want in your life. What does abundance feel like to you?
What would it feel like to not worry about money? Where would you live? What would you do with your time? What would you buy?
Have you ever experienced a period of abundance in your life? How would you walk? How would you breathe? Imagine and stay in a place of abundance instead of a place of lack.
Use positive visualizations to imagine having enough. Imagine whatever it is your heart desires. What would make you feel abundant?
Get creative and picture an abundant life in your mind. Some people create vision boards that portray a visually compelling picture of an abundant life. But you can just as effectively visualize a picture of a rich life.
2. Embrace the positive vibrations.
How do you embrace the vibrations of joy and gratitude when you feel neither? Well, here’s the thing—you gotta start cultivating these feelings in your life.
You have small moments of joy every day. Capture it, cultivate it, and create more of it. Actively schedule activities that bring you absolute joy. Try to refrain from those activities that make you feel horrible about yourself.
Put yourself in high-vibrational places where you’re emitting positive energy.
If hanging out with your high-achieving sister who works at Goldman Sachs and who has two kids and the perfect house makes you feel like a loser, spend less time with your sister!
If your daily yoga class or workout makes you feel good about yourself and brings joy into your life, make sure those activities are on your calendar.
Fight for your joyous activities every day. Do things that bring you pleasure (unless they require a bottle of Crown Royal or could get you arrested).
3. Immerse yourself in a little luxury.
I hate luxurious things; it probably doesn’t help for me to write that here.
I grew up wanting to do something that would help a lot of people, serve others, and create a more just world. I practiced law to balance the scales of justice for some of the most vulnerable people in society. I worked as a union organizer to give workers a voice and to help them stand up to corporations.
While it’s understandable that I’m not comfortable surrounded by luxury, I’ve tried to reverse that trend by putting myself in luxurious places. I’ve walked through and hung out in the lobbies of the fanciest hotels in the world. I’ve embraced the experience of going to conferences where I was put up in nice hotels. I’ve volunteered to take rides in fancy cars.
I’ve spent days at nice beach resorts and even eaten at a handful of fancy restaurants, all in an effort to help myself get comfortable with luxurious places. In the process, I’ve dealt with my own resistance and uncomfortableness. I’m trying to embrace luxury so I will stop resisting it.
Similarly, I encourage you to take a couple of actions this week. Go to places where you normally wouldn’t go. Have coffee and dessert at a fancy restaurant. Walk through a place like Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills, Fifth Avenue in New York City, or the Shoppes at Marina Bay Sands in Singapore.
4. Role play (seriously!)
What kind of abundance do you want in your life? Travel? Wealth? Better relationships? The man of your dreams? More excitement? Enjoyment? A more exotic city to live in?
Whatever it is you seek, try playing that role. What do I mean by this?
Take a trip to the city where you want to live. Dress up in the clothes you would wear if you had an abundant life.
Have a meal at a nicer restaurant. Attend plays at artsy theaters.
If you can upgrade your hotel room, your rental car, or the meal you ordered, go for it. Do those things you would do if money was not an object.
Live up your life a little and try to do those things that you would do if you had all the money you wanted.
You don’t have to spend exorbitant amounts of money either; look for free events and opportunities. Rent cars or clothes to help you feel more abundant.
Essentially, set yourself up in situations and play roles that help you feel more abundant.
5. Give affirmations a try.
I’ve not talked much about affirmations here, but they have helped myself and others. My friend, Farnoosh, talks about how affirmations were critical to changing her mindset and helping her become an entrepreneur.
In this post, Farnoosh not only provides examples of affirmations you can use, but also offers a one-minute affirmation video.
If your mind is filled with negativity and thoughts of lack, repeat affirmations regularly to shift your mindset to more positivity and abundance.
Keep a list of your affirmations on your refrigerator, bathroom mirror, or steering wheel so you’ll have a continual reminder of them.
If you would like to create more abundance in your life, you can also try a meditation. This 10-minute meditation by Lilou is one I’ve found effective:
6. Tap your way to abundance.
I don’t quite know why tapping works, but I have found that it creates a state of abundance in my life.
It’s based on ancient teachings and acupuncture points on your body. You tap these various designated points and repeat affirmations of healing and positivity toward your money blocks.
Again, weird as heck, but what you’re doing is tapping into your unconscious mind patterns and breaking through subconsciously to clear your money blocks.
Try to do this when no one’s around because if anyone is watching you, he or she might call the local mental health clinic to wheel you away.
Videos I regularly use include these two by former Harvard lawyer Erika Awakening and certified hypnotherapist Brad Yates.
7. Continually acknowledge abundance.
When good things show up in our lives, we tend to ignore them.
Instead of doing this, take a moment to celebrate the synchronicities that show up in your life. These are coincidences and blessings.
Get serious about showing appreciation for the small things.
Be grateful for your car and for the money you use to buy gas. Be thankful to your boss who lets you go home early. Be grateful to the client who pays off his or her bills, or the patient who brings you a fancy box of Cadbury’s chocolates.
Every night, write a list of 10 to 20 items you’re thankful for. Your family counts, your pets count, your annoying neighbors moving out from the next-door apartment counts, and so does the lunch your best friend treated you to.
8. Dress better
Get in the spirit of feeling more abundant. During college, in my quest to live like the Average Joe, I bought my clothes from thrift stores and second-hand stores. It didn’t bother me if the clothes were torn or had holes in them.
Since that time, I’ve realized that, no, the average person doesn’t wear torn or ripped clothing.
While I still prefer simple clothes, and have only a minimal number of clothes, I try to buy better-quality clothing and have even purchased a couple of nicer shirts.
Your closet doesn’t need to look like the rack at Nordstrom’s, but you can purchase a few good-quality shirts or dresses. Wear them on a regular basis and feel more abundant by sporting some stylish fashions.
9. Create an inspiration board.
Some people say a vision board can inspire more wealth and abundance. On it, you place pictures of what you want to see in your life.
I have a different approach. I put things on my vision board that simply inspire me and that put me in a better mood. I incorporate quotes that inspire me, people who inspire me, and other photos and pictures that make me feel good.
I use this inspiration board to create a sense of happiness and positive vibrations so every time I look at it, I feel more abundance. My inspiration board is filled with peaceful places, churches, sanctuaries and a few famous people (Oprah, Deepak Chopra and hey, even my hero, Leo Babauta)
10. Be generous.
Finally, there’s no better way to feel a sense of abundance than to give back.
When you give, you feel better about yourself. Giving is the simplest and easiest way to feel abundance in your life.
When you give, you’re telling the universe that you’re in a state of wealth and enough. You can’t give unless you have.
Of course, you can’t give money when you don’t have money. But you can give your time and your energy. You can give your attention and your presence. You can provide free services or just help someone. Do one small act of kindness a day.
All of these practices will help you feel more abundance. If you’re wondering why you don’t have the money you desire, don’t sit back and do nothing.
And don’t take action alone without shifting your vibrations and your mindset.
No online course, special training, or raise at work will help until you change your mindset regarding money.
Start with these money-blocking exercises to break through your abundance blocks.
Feel more abundance and you’ll start seeing more abundance in your life.
Why does Apple make standout products that so many people want?
Why do people tattoo Harley-Davidson tattoos on their bodies?
How did Southwest Airlines create the most profitable airline in the United states?
Some companies get it. They’re able to have fun, make money, inspire those around them and help the planet at the same time.
We know what these companies do and how they do it but Simon Sinek’s book, Start with Why, digs into the ‘why’ behind these companies.
“By Why I mean what is your purpose, cause or belief? Why does you company exist? Why do you get out of bed every morning? And WHY should anyone care?”
Sinek talks about Apple frequently in his book because we all are familiar with their company and products. Apple doesn’t say, “we make great computers. They’re beautifully designed, simple to use and user-friendly.”
Instead, they start with their why: “Everything we do , we believe in challenging the status quo. We believe in thinking differently. The way we challenge the status quo is by making our products beautifully designed, simple to use and user-friendly.”
“Apple starts with WHY, a purpose, cause or belief that has nothing to do with WHAT they do” Sinek writes. “It’s worth repeating; people don’t buy what they do, they buy WHY they do it.”
Same reason people are so passionate about Harley Davidson. In Start With Why, a former US marine and general manager of a Harley-Davidson store proudly sports a Harley tattoo on his left arm. “It symbolizes who I am,” he says, “Mostly, it says I’m an American.”
“The meaning of Harley-Davidson has value in people’s lives because, for those who believe in Harley’s WHY, it help them express the meaning of their own lives.” Sinek writes.
Southwest Airlines has a similar story. In the 1970’s, Southwest began as a champion for the common man – to make flying accessible to all. “Those who could relate to Southwest, those who saw themselves as average Joes, now had an alternative to the big airlines.” Southwests’s ability to stay true to their cause, and more importantly embrace their “Why” is what has made them the most profitable airline in the United States.
What does this have to do with you?
People, like you and I, also have our “why’s” in life but we never pay much attention to them.
Do you want to know your purpose?
Do you want to know why you exist?
Do you want the Gods to reveal to you the very reason for your being?
Unfortunately, you’ve probably looked in all the wrong places all this time.
Your reason for being isn’t locked up in some secret cave or hidden from you by some spiritual master.
You have the ability and tools you need to discover your why.
Know exactly why you were put on this earth.
How?
As the Godfather of personal development, Tony Robbins, points out, “values guide our every decision and therefore, our destiny.”
“If (you) want the deepest level of life fulfillment, you can achieve it only one way, and that is doing what these two men have done: by deciding upon what we value most in life, what our highest values are and the committing to live by them every single day,” writes Robbins in his classic book, Awaken the Giant Within.
“Too often, people have no clear idea of what’s important to them. They waffle on any issue; the world is a mass of gray to them; they never take a stand for anything or anyone.”
You have a different set of values than I do. So does each person you know.
Your values and your values alone will make you happy, bring you immense pleasure, joy, bliss, fulfillment and find in a drunken state of excitement.
On the other hand, if you’re not living your values, you likely despise your life, hate your job, want to strangle everyone you see every day.
If you feel unfulfilled, directionless and purposeless, you’re most likely not living your “Why”. You’re not living your values.
Live in alignment with your values and decisions will become easy. Choices will become black and white.
What action you take next or what you do with your life will seem like no-brainers.
But having values-confusion and or just not knowing what your values are will cause a lot of unwanted frustration, pain and misery.
Tim Brownson, life coach extrodainaire, my personal life coach and teacher of life coaches says it best: in his online best-seller, Aligning With Your Core Values, “When you see the core of values of an individual, you are effectively viewing his or her identity, and you are almost getting a window into his or her soul.”
Find your values.
Before you can live your values and enjoy life to the fullest, you have to discover what your values are.
Values exist within you. It’s shaped by a lifetime of living, your beliefs, your understanding of the world, your perspective on life, your family background, your politics and religion.
Your values get to the very core of who you are.
It’s for this reason that Tim not only discusses values at length on his site but in his excellent life coaching course for coaches, which I had the benefit of taking, Tim delves deep into values and discusses how to elicit values from clients.
(On a side note, Tim’s course is an excellent crash-course for up and coming life coaches. Tim not only packs in a ton of information in practical terms based on his personal coaching experience with hundreds of clients, but teaches the nuts and bolts of coaching, marketing and helping clients achieve results in the quickest possible time. p.s. Tim – send a check made out to me at…)
Tim provides a structure to find our values within. First, being aware of the many values that are out there and then asking you to reflect on your life to determine your most important values are.
For example, Tim provided us a list of the common values that people base their life on: peace, freedom, integrity, love, passion, loyalty, adventure, and dozens of other sample values.
Once you recognize your values, Tim advises prioritizing them and ranking them from your most important value to your least important.
Finally, he encourages life coaches to help clients get clarity with each value, understanding what that particular value means to each person.
Values like freedom, peace, humor, fun or adventure have different meaning to different people so Tim encourages you to get as specific as possible with your what a value means to you.
Live your values.
Once you’ve acknowledged your values, it’s time to see if you’re living your values. Time to look at the way you’re living your life, the work that you do, the relationships that you have and what you’re doing on a day to day basis.
If there’s frustration, if you’re feeling unfulfilled or resistant towards certain tasks or people or goals, you’re more than likely experiencing a life conflict or values conflict. Your are not living your life according to the values you’ve created your life around.
Conflicts can be internal and external. For example, if you value freedom, fun and humor, you’re more than like going to hate your job as a computer programmer.
If you’re a peaceful, justice-loving spiritual hippie of a person, your badge and job as a police officer isn’t going to cut it.
The power of values.
Are you ready to change your life?
Ready to examine, understand, analyze and live your values?
How are 3 ways to discover your values so you can start living
1) Hire a life coach to help you see if your life is in alignment with your values.
2) Pick up Tim’s book, the more advanced version for life coaches will give you plenty of insights and expertise to not only discover your life values but help others understand theirs.
3) Go through the list of values from a list like this and note your top 8 values. Rank them and prioritize them by values of importance. Then, examine your job, relationships, and life and see if your life fits those values.
Success, fortune, weekend getaways to the Cannes Film festival, notoriety and fame await those of you who are living in tune with your values.
You’d be unstoppable if your life values are in symmetry with your life.
If they’re not, you’ve now been let in on the mighty little secret to life fulfillment and satisfaction.
Is it time to figure out your ‘why’ in life? Are you living your values or is it time for a values tune-up?
“Wait! Are you saying that I have to stop following instructions and start being an artist? Someone who dreams up new ideas and makes them real? Someone who finds new ways to interact, new pathways to deliver emotion, new ways to connect? Someone who acts like a human, not a cog? Me? YES!” Linchpin, by Seth Godin
You have two choices.
1) Get a job, earn a salary, get health insurance and strive for security; or
2) Do work you enjoy, make a difference and unlock the genius you’ve been hiding.
Are you choosing “conventional”? Or “revolutionary”?
Showing up or standing out?
Following the rules or creating the rules?
One book that has inspired me and altered the course of my life is Seth Godin’s Linchpin. Although the book came out in 2010 and I read it only a couple of years ago, I wanted to take a moment to share its insights with you.
Will this book change your life the way it changed mine?
In Linchpin, Seth gives you a choice between two options: either to be a cog in the giant industrial machine, just one small part that makes the machine run; or to stand out and become a linchpin, an essential and crucial piece that’s irreplaceable.
You can be a worker. Or an artist.
Your two choices.
Seth equates today’s white collar workers to factory workers.
“It’s factory work because it’s planned, controlled, and measured. It’s factory work because you can optimize for productivity. These workers know what they are going to do all day – and it’s still morning.”
But it doesn’t end there. Today “machines have replaced those workers. Worse, much worse, is that competitive pressures (and greed) have encouraged most organizations to turn their workers into machines,” Seth writes. “If we can measure it, we can do it faster. If we can put it in a manual, we can outsource it. If we can outsource it, we can get it cheaper…”
Seth’s premise in Linchpin is that you should challenge the working world of today – refuse to be a cog in the machine. Refuse to simply show up and stick it out.
“The only way to succeed is to be remarkable, to be talked about,” Seth writes.
Your new role in the world is to “be remarkable. Be generous. Create art. Make judgment calls. Connect people and ideas.”
Be impossibly good at your job. Be more human, less machine.
“When you’re not a cog in a machine, an easily replaceable commodity, you’ll get paid what you’re worth. Which is more.”
Less busy work. More art.
Fewer directions. More inspiration.
Less about what you get. More about what you can give.
How do you stand out and become irreplaceable in the world?
1) Be an artist.
Seth talks about how artists are indispensable linchpins.
“Art is scarce; scarcity creates value,” he writes.
And by no means is he implying that you need to start painting and creating sculptures before your next business endeavor.
“Art isn’t only a painting. Art is anything that’s creative, passionate, and personal. And great art resonates with the viewer, not only with the creator.”
“Art is a personal gift that changes the recipient. The medium doesn’t matter. The intent does.”
You can create art not by singing a song or writing poetry. You can create art by affecting someone, inspiring someone, creating a change in others.
You become an artist when you find a new way to do things. You’re an artist when you create joy or pleasure for another person. You’re an artist when you do something original.
And you’re doing all these things not for money, but for the sake of giving and changing people.
“The reason you might choose to embrace the artist within you now is that this is the path to (cue the ironic music) security. When it is time for layoffs, the safest job belongs to the artist, the linchpin, the one who can’t be easily outsourced or replaced,” writes Seth.
And if you’re wondering, you don’t have to quit your job to do this. You can be creative, original, inspiring and generous in the very joy you’re currently experiencing. You can care and you can make an impact on someone by changing the way you think about your work.
“Your art is the act of taking personal responsibility, challenging the status quo, and changing people.”
2) Give away your art.
Now is not the time to think that Seth Godin wants you to become a pauper and live on the streets, selling your watercolor artwork.
“When art is created solely to be sold, it’s only a commodity. A key element for the artist is the act of giving the art to someone in the tribe,” Seth writes.
When you give away something you care about because of love, care or inspiration, you are offering something that cannot be adequately repaid – and that’s okay. You deliver so much value that people have no choice but to be grateful for and appreciative of your art.
Your smile, your act of courtesy, your thoughtful gesture, your connection with someone in the same industry, your introducing that person to a wine she’ll love – all are small examples of gifts that make you invaluable. Indispensable.
Your small acts of art, given generously, make you a linchpin.
Don’t do it for the money, but for the love of it and for the sake of changing people’s lives. The money will come.
Seth challenges us to give not because we want to receive, but simply as an act of love.
3) Be unique.
Seth relays the stories of Louis Vuitton, Hermes and other French artisans who embraced handmade luxury goods that took time and care to produce.
“Mechanizing and cheapening the process would have made it easy for others to copy. Relying on humanity made it difficult – it made the work done in France scarce, and scarcity creates value.”
Don’t go for the easiest or the cheapest route.
Whatever situation you’re in, ask yourself, “What would the artist do here?” How can you make something special or different to improve the final product? How do you inspire and make your customer’s experience stand out?
4) Raise the bar.
“The problem with meeting expectations is that it’s not remarkable. It won’t change the recipient of the work, and it’s easy to emulate (which makes you easy to replace).”
Choose to be remarkable instead, Seth preaches. In fact, if you can’t be remarkable or exceptional in what you’re doing, don’t do it at all.
Stay away from humdrum, average and already been done. What is the game changer? What can you do that is art?
What can you do that will change someone’s life?
You can do something exceptional as a courtroom lawyer or as a telephone receptionist.
Raise the roof if you have to.
5) Become an expert to question how things are done.
“Expertise gives you enough insight to reinvent what everyone else assumes is the truth,” Seth writes.
If you understand better than anyone else the products you’re working on or the topic you’re writing about, you’ll have more breakthroughs and big ideas.
Mastering a subject or a field allows you to do something special in that field. The better you know something, the more likely you’ll know what’s missing, what doesn’t work or how to make something better.
The more you know, the greater your ability to make meaningful changes.
6) Maintain empathy and engagement.
You’re not paid to care, but you’re freely able to do so.
You don’t have to talk to anyone, but doing so can change someone’s day or improve someone’s life.
Can you look for ways to help people and improve the situation? Can you think about the small things that you can do to show you care?
Can these things be as simple as a smile or a “How are you?”
Can kindness, generosity and common courtesy be art? I’d venture to say, yes!!
7) Break the rules.
The easy thing to do is to learn the rules and follow them. There are rule books, policy manuals and employee handbooks. There are instructions that tell you what to do, and bosses who tell you how to do it.
Can you do it differently even if it means bending the rules?
Can you find a more effective solution? A more creative one? A solution that delivers more value to the people you’re serving?
Are you willing to step on toes to introduce an unexpected solution, or go against the usual way of doing things so that you stand out?
Yes, you might be disciplined or fired. But in Seth’s world, the linchpin says, “If I lean enough, it’s okay if I get fired, because I’ll have demonstrated my value to the marketplace. If the rules are the only thing between me and becoming indispensable, I don’t need the rules.”
Following the rules? Or breaking them and creating new ones?
8) Stay passionate.
Artists are passionate about their jobs and passionate about doing important work that gives a gift to others.
Seth writes that “transferring your passion to your job is far easier than finding a job that happens to match your passion.”
Interesting, and contrary to what we’ve been told. It may be the one point I slightly disagree with Seth on.
It may be easier to transfer your passion to your job, but it’s more fulfilling and satisfying to search for your purpose in the world and pursue that thing you were made to do.
Getting passionate about something you’re not interested in is more difficult, I’d argue, than finding what makes you jump out of bed in the morning.
But can you get passionate about aspects or parts of a job you’re already doing?
I’d say, either way, the bottom line is to do work that inspires passion. Either find a new job or discover what you’re passionate about in the work you’re doing.
9) Ship.
In Seth’s world, “ship means hitting the publish button on your blog, showing a presentation to the sales team, answering the phone, selling the muffins, sending out your references.”
Shipping is getting it done. It’s getting the product out the door. Delivering your project to the computer.
If you’re having trouble completing something, you’re likely facing resistance. The solution a la Seth: “Call its bluff, ship always, and then change the world.”
As a linchpin, confront your inner fears and face the resistance you feel.
Your product may not be perfect, but it’s better to get something out the door.
“Shipping something out the door, doing it regularly, without hassle, emergency, or fear – this is a rare skill, something that makes you indispensable,” Seth concludes.
10) Break through the resistance.
People may not like your ideas.
You might fail.
You might be laughed at or fired.
Some of these fears and doubts will stand between you and your work.
The resistance, Seth writes, seeks comfort or wants to hide. Seth encourages you to get uncomfortable when facing resistance.
When you’re feeling uncomfortable, “you’re doing something that others were unlikely to do, because they’re hiding out in the comfortable zone.”
The only solution to breaking through the resistance, Seth tells us, “is to call all the bluffs at once, to tolerate no rational irrational reason to hold back on your art. The only solution is to start today, to start now, and to ship.”
Finally, you may be wondering what art to make and what gifts to share with the world around you.
That question is the “crux of it. Once you commit to being an artist, the question is an obvious one. The answer is the secret to your success. You must make a map. Not someone else. You.”
Linchpin can change your life if you adopt the revolution that Seth is asking you to lead. The power is not in society’s hands or your boss’s hands.
You’re the artist. You’re the linchpin and you can make it happen.
To purchase Linchpin, click here. For coaching to help you discover your art and become the linchpin of your life, click here.
When you’re stuck on the road, you need a car coach. We call him a mechanic.
When you’re days away from your 20th high school reunion and want to lose 20 pounds fast, you need a gym coach. We call her a trainer.
And if you’re trying to eat healthier or switch to a vegetarian diet, you need … yes … a cooking coach. They do exist!
But what exactly is a life coach?
In a nutshell, a life coach is someone who helps you live the life you want to live.
At first, some lovely people, like your parents or boss at work might seem like life coaches.
They’ll say things like, “Get an MBA” “Take the promotion,” “Buy a house,” or “Put in the hours to move up the command chain.” However, one small problem exists with this kind of coaching … it may have nothing whatsoever to do with what you want out of life.
When you end up pleasing others and receiving coaching from people who want the best for you, but ultimately want you to do what THEY want you to do, you’ll live a miserable life. You’ll live someone else’s life. You’ll live a society-prescribed life that won’t fulfill YOU.
A life coach is an agent who helps you tap into your highest self, discover what you want and figure out how to get there.
Once you work with a coach to discover what it is you want out of life, you will then begin the road to achieving it.
See, a lot of times in our lives, before we accomplish anything – a goal, a dream, a life-changing decision – we have to confront our beliefs, value systems and limiting thoughts.
Most of the time our minds crush our dreams and goals before we start.
A life coach can help you examine your beliefs, get aligned with your intuition and overcome the objections or obstacles in front of you.
A life coach can help you gain clarity by listening intently, helping you see what’s going on in your life and helping you shift your perspective so that you can move forward.
If you have no idea what you want to do with your life or what the reason for your existence is, a life coach can help.
If your professional career frustrates you and you want more control of your work life – a work life that’s more personally satisfying – a life coach can help.
If you need to stop moving in one direction and change course (while following an action plan that will help you do just that), call a life coach!
What can life coaching do for you?
Life coaching can help you face the resistance and limiting beliefs that prevent you from living your best life.
Life coaching can help you get to where you want to be. It’s like GPS for your life, without the annoying “wrong turn” messages your GPS machine barks at you.
Life coaching can help you evaluate your choices, clarify decisions and get super clear about your “why” in life – yes, your purpose!
Sure, you can “figure it out” on your own, but that could require the passage of several years, a number of therapy sessions and the emergence of dramatic circumstances that force you to take action. Or you can cut the crap, start being accountable to yourself and do what your heart desires today.
Will your coach hypnotize you or put you under a spell? (or, what tools do life coaches use?)
Most likely, your life coach won’t hypnotize you, dunk you underwater or cast a spell on you.
Life coaches rely on the power of listening, powerful questions and intuition (both theirs and your own) to move you toward the best course of action for your life.
It’s important to note that a life coach doesn’t tell you what you “should” or “need” to do with your life. A coach guides you so that you discover your values, goals and dreams, and then helps you bring them to life.
Life coaches challenge you when you feel you can’t, believe it won’t work or never thought of trying.
They re-frame and shift your perspective, ask what you can learn from a hopeless situation, show you how to move on in the face of failure and even help you discover the lessons you can learn from your current circumstances.
They help you brainstorm, stay accountable and stay true to your dreams when the going gets tough and the resistance creeps in.
They focus on helping you get unstuck and make those changes you desire in your life, relationships and career.
When is the best time to get a life coach?
There is no good or bad time for a coach.
Many people find coaching necessary during low points in their lives or when they face transitional circumstances.
If you’re stuck, if you’ve fallen down or if you feel knocked down by a roller-coaster set of life events (divorce, breakup, job dissatisfaction), you might consider coaching.
But you don’t need to be down on your luck or facing Godzilla-size problems to seek help from a life coach.
If you feel as though you’re not moving ahead in life, if you feel shackled by your fears, or if you simply trudge along without a purpose or mission, it may be time to get a coach.
If you know you could be doing a lot better than you are now and want to live a richer or more fulfilling life, consider life coaching.
What makes a good life coach?
A life coach should have three critical skills.
It’s my view that listening and presence are the most valuable tools a life coach offers. A coach must be capable of understanding what you’re saying and uncovering what you may be denying or resisting. They must be willing to shut up and listen so that they can get to the root of your frustrations and struggles.
A good life coach also knows the power of relevant questions and curiosity. They use questions to unearth your desires and discover your calling. Questions will help uncover your limiting beliefs and self-doubts.
Finally, intuition is an important part of the life coaching process. A good life coach can tap into his or her intuition and help you see things that might not be readily visible. Not only will you benefit from the life coach’s intuitive touch, you’ll find that your own intuition becomes clearer.
Those gut feelings are more accurate than you can imagine. Be prepared to tune in and let your strong internal whispers guide you.
How is a life coach different from a therapist?
In life coaching, you and your coach sit on the same couch.
Your coach does not interrogate, interview, examine or diagnose you.
You don’t delve into your past, heal emotional wounds or try to figure out what went wrong. A life coach can’t cure depression or anxiety, or offer a medical diagnosis.
Life coaches deal with the here and now. They take your life as it is and help you make improvements to it. It’s a collaborative and co-active process that helps you design and achieve your best life.
Life coaches believe that you have the answers and help you navigate your beliefs and values toward a place of fulfillment.
Therapists treat you for specific conditions and help you cope emotionally.
Life coaches help you navigate life and live the life you want.
Why did you need a life coach yesterday?
Sure, you might “figure it out” on your own or start on your dreams “someday,” but if that someday is long overdue, you needed a life coach yesterday.
If you’re stuck and frustrated because you haven’t made any movement in your life and you need a catalyst to get going, you needed a life coach yesterday.
If you decided to run a marathon, save the Bengal tiger or take some action toward a new career but didn’t get out of bed until noon, you probably needed a life coach yesterday.
Is now the time for life coaching?
If you’re tired of living a mediocre life or feel unfulfilled and trapped by the life you’re living, it’s time for you to coach up.
You can do it on your own, but a coach just might help you accelerate the process by a year or two or ten.
Are you ready for life coaching today?
*If you’re in need of coaching that will help you discover your purpose or transition out of a un-fulfilling career, visit my coaching page here.
I help people overcome their devastating breakups and divorces and find love again. Instead of visiting the Himalayas, sign up below and join me. I am taking a writing break but will be back soon.
This guide is free. A ticket to the Himalayas is $2000. Your move.
