Do you feel like you’ve been instructed to do certain things, study certain subjects, go to college, get certain jobs, buy real estate, have kids and live a particular kind of life?
Well, if you have been feeling out of sorts with this pre-programmed life that society has concocted, I have a message for you.
Society lies.
Intentionally?
Yes!
Everything you and I have been told has been a lie, but we’ve grown up believing it. We’ve been told these lies since the day we were born and we’ve accepted it without any question.
We grow up believing in these lies because we’ve seen it everywhere from fairy tales to the movies. When you look around you, you see everyone you know living this life.
In western society, there is a pre-designed life path of school, college, marriage, family and retirement.
In Indian society, there is a pre-designed path of student, house-holder, hermit and ascetic.
Anyone in these societies or any society around the world has a pre-planned path by the people living around you who tell you, in no indirect terms, what to do with your life.
Society tells you that if you do x, y and z, you’ll find happiness, meaning and purpose. You’ll be fulfilled in this world.
Unless, of course, you did all these things and found that they don’t necessarily make you happy. When you follow society’s rules and suggestions commands, you might end up in a nice home with a good-paying job, but you might be disconnected from what matters most.
You may have all the externals right, but what about the internal qualities that matter?
Well, this is the subject of a new book that I’m about to release, 7 Sacred Promises: A Practical Guide for Living with Meaning and Purpose, but in the meantime, let’s explore some of these deeper questions.
Why does society lie?
I make two arguments in my soon-to-be-released book about the rationale for the lies.
One, everyone is on the same boat so society gets worried when you’re off the beaten path. When you’re doing your own things and living your own truth, society begins to feel left out. It feels it would be unfair for you to go out there and live your truth when everyone else is living according to a singular set of rules.
It’s not fair if you can pursue your art and creative endeavors. It’s not fair if you can live purposefully and meaningfully. It’s not fair when you get to live the life of your choosing and society has to follow the crowd. There is this inherent sense of jealousy, and society wants you to stay the course. It wants you to do what everyone else is doing.
Another reason that society advocates so vigorously for you to stay the course is that there are many industries and economies built around you following suit. The entire education industry, home-ownership industry, and child-rearing industry makes billions upon billions of dollars from you doing what everyone else does.
Society lies because it’s in its best interest to lie. It benefits and profits when you follow the course it has created. You, on the other hand, believe the lies because you don’t know any other way. When society’s advice is loud, repetitive and all you know, you have no choice.
This book will be your wake-up call to change your existence and how you start living from this day forward.
What to do when society lies?
The most important thing you can do to figure out the lie and shift your mindset about your life is to wake up to the truth.
Awareness is the first step to realizing you’ve been hoodwinked and lied to.
Awareness will be your wake-up call.
Once you realize society has been lying to you and you realize you’ve been living society’s lie, not your life, it will become much easier to take action.
The book is written to ask you to break the promises to society and urges you to keep a new set of promises. Instead of focusing on the external and the material, you will be challenged to cultivate a new set of promises from within.
What is the alternative?
You don’t have to live the lies that society has created for you.
It’s hard to imagine that you can break away because of how loud and demanding society is, but there is a way out.
You can disengage from pursuing a better job, a higher salary, a nicer house and a more luxurious car to pursue the things that matter.
In my new book, I encourage you to let go of society’s promises to you and cultivate a new set of promises.
Instead of going after the promises that everyone else is keeping, start keeping promises to something deeper.
The promises I talk about are all internal ones that will create more meaning and purpose in your life.
In 7 Sacred Promises: A Practical Guide for Living with Meaning and Purpose, I share a new set of promises.
Instead of a promise to your career, why not make a new promise to your art? I urge to you discover and, more likely, accept the gift that each of us has been given, and make the most of it. When you pursue your art, you’ll notice how you’ll start moving closer to your dreams. You’ll start seeing more opportunities and abundance in your life.
Instead of a promise to a straight and narrow career path, I urge you to make a promise to courage so you can follow your calling in life. It’s not easy or convenient to follow your purpose and do what you were put on earth to do. You have to keep a promise to courage everyday so you ignore those around you and move in the direction of your purpose.
In the 5th promise, I encourage you to keep a promise to love so you’re cultivating the love within and sharing your love with those around. When you keep your promise to love, you will learn how to welcome in more joy and connection into your life.
The 7th promise is how to live an ego-less life. How do you let go of all societal constructs and get to your core? How do you breakthrough the noise and live from the most sacred place: your essence?
When you live from this place, you’ll be able to live a more truthful and honest life. When you keep a promise to your essence, you’ll be rewarded with a life of meaning.
Each of these promises in the book won’t just talk about what promises to keep and how to cultivate a new set of promises; each promise will have practical directions and guidance to achieve these new promises in your life.
Are you ready to break out of the known path and start living your life from the inside-out, instead of the outside in?
Pick up the book, 7 Sacred Promises: A Practical Guide for Living with Meaning and Purpose. The book will be released on June 4th, 2016. If you’re on the mailing list, you’ll get an email when the book is released. You can pre-order the book here.
* This is a guest post by singer and artist, Nana.
Inspired by my mother, a classical pianist, I started playing the piano at the age of 4. By the time I was 5, I was performing.
Music was my world and the stage was my comfort zone. For many years, I practiced four hours a day.
Along with music, I dedicated my time and energy as a child to learning about the human experience – what “life” was about. I read many books on such topics as self-help, past lives, classical literature, philosophy and religion. I gained hands-on experience in these areas by listening and talking to everyone I encountered. I always felt my calling was to help others.
So how did a young girl who played classical piano and loved to help others end up singing a song called “Blessed Life” and pursuing her music dreams?
During my teenage years, I decided that classical piano was a lonely experience and announced to my parents that I was going to get a job and live life! Yes, I was only 13 years old at the time. My parents were apprehensive and felt devastated about my decision to work and dance in nightclubs.
Though they were disappointed in my life decisions, I spent much of the 1990s in the New York City dance scene, which was still authentic and resembled that of the 1970s. I knew in my heart that dancing was a journey with a purpose. Also, I figured, why wait until I was 18 to get wild and crazy? I might as well get it out of my system when I was younger.
I explored dance music, customs, liberations of the soul and collective experiences of love, kindness and unity on a mass level. For me, dancing was an expressive and spiritual experience.
This understanding augmented my experiences of music, art, self-expression and outrageous customs that later took me on a journey far into the dessert – what we in Burning Man call the PLAYA. The scene there took art, love and community to another level, and inspired me to become the person I am today.
The roads I traveled widened my artistic and musical understanding. I experienced a sense of community on a deep level and understood the things that moved and motivated people.
All this time, deep down inside, I knew that I wanted to write music. I had always known that I wanted to sing, dance and be on stage, but even though those were my callings, I hadn’t written a song yet!!
The time came when I had to help with my family business and, consequently, take on a full-time job. At work I interacted with intelligent people and built relationships with them by helping with their skin problems. I was putting my experiences with learning and healing into practice.
For a portion of my working years I helped clients who came into the skin care shop. In addition to assisting with their skin issues, I offered life advice, book suggestions and even techniques they could use to heal themselves. Having these clients return or write emails saying that my suggestions were useful and changed their lives became music to my ears.
As I helped people improve their skin and their health, a little voice inside me was whispering, saying that I needed to sing, dance and entertain. As the years passed, I got a journal and began writing songs. I wrote on the subway to and from work, jotting down my experiences, thoughts about life and descriptions of things I encountered on a daily basis.
I decided I would “relate to the human experience” through song and create a message that would lift up and resonate with people. I wanted to write songs that inspired others to take action – to love themselves, keep going, help others, etc.
Years went by and these songs – and my dream – remained in my heart. Then I met my life partner, who became my best friend and my biggest supporter. Someone wanted to help me and now it was my turn to learn the lesson of receiving. To give is great, but to receive is another gift and an art one must learn. The balance of giving and receiving is the key to life. If you only give, you will end up bitter; to learn to receive keeps the universe balanced.
A year went by before I became acquainted with the person who would lead and stimulate my music project – a well-established professional who handled many famous artists.
I went to him with three home-recorded songs and told him my vision – “MUSIC WITH A MESSAGE.” I wanted to help and inspire the world and use music as a way to communicate new forms of art. I wanted to bring together people who have love in their hearts and inspire them to create change in the world. I needed someone like him to represent and help me.
With lots of positive thinking, affirmations and support from the universe, I started the journey this past January.
Although I faced many challenges and bumps in the road, I didn’t give up on this project that I call “music with a message” or “revolution/evolution of self.”
I know I have a long way to go and that I’m in the beginning stages of this journey.
I hope you enjoy my first song, on which I collaborated with the great producer Kyle Kelso. The song is “Blessed Life,” and its video contains elements of the club scene, Burning Man-inspired customs, LED light and, of course, regular people I encountered while wandering around New York City.
I hope you feel inspired and share the light and the message to be “Blessed Always!” And I hope you, too, take action on your dreams today, no matter how big or small they are.
Here are six steps you can take to live a more holistic and conscious life, one that enables you to pursue your dreams and live your light:
1. Read.
Books inspire and give you the tools you need to better your life. These are the top, must-read books that have changed and inspired me.
Get a bundle of sage and cleanse either daily or weekly.
It’s like taking a shower, or vacuuming and dusting.
Open all your windows, light the sage and run it around your body. Then go to each room, including all the corners, and ask to cleanse the energy around you and in your home.
Ask to release everything you don’t need. Invite all new, positive energy.
Trust me – you will feel the difference.
3. Use affirmations.
This is so important. If you want to achieve something, you must get a journal and write, write, write. If you come to my home you will see stacks of notebooks and pages upon pages filled with the same statement, written over and over. In every one of your life’s time frames, you have different needs and goals, different things you must get done.
Write what you want, and do so in positive, present tense (i.e., as though you already have it). This lets your subconscious mind envision what you want, and helps the universe bring it to you. You become open to having it.
A few examples of affirmations:
I HAVE A BRAND-NEW, ENERGY-EFFICIENT RED CAR.
I LOVE MY NEW JOB, I ENJOY THE DAILY ACTIVITIES I DO AND I HAVE A GREAT SALARY THAT SUPPORTS ME ABUNDANTLY.
I LOVE MY NEW PARTNER (even if you don’t have one yet). HE/SHE (list qualities)…IS KIND, IS LOVING, IS FUNNY, IS HEALTHY, IS BALANCED, LOVES ME JOYFULLY.
When getting started, you might want to obtain a deck of affirmation cards from Louise Hay (she has many options), then pick one card daily and complete the affirmation. Repeat it at home and in your head.
4. Exercise.
My mom always says, “Healthy body, healthy mind.”
You need to stretch every day and complete some type of physical activity that will engage your body and mind. Take a walk around your home for 30 minutes a day, or go jogging or hiking on the weekends. Hit up a gym. Whatever it is, do something. Your body needs circulation and activity.
5. Give back and receive.
Help others, whether by listening to them and offering advice, or by doing a favor for them. Also, remember that when your turn comes to receive, accept the help and say, “Thank you.” If you find that no one gives back to you, open your heart and ask for help from the universe. Help will come, and you must stay open to receiving it. You will be surprised to discover who lends a hand or smiles at you when you least expect it.
6. Love yourself.
The world is full of demands. We may not achieve our goals quickly, and we may even fail, but we must remember that our worth doesn’t depend on the amount of money we make or the powerful positions we hold or the material things (nice though they are) we own. We are souls – energy – light. Every night give yourself a hug. No matter how tough your day was, tell yourself, “I love you,” and give yourself a hug.
I would love to hear from you, whether you have questions, feedback or thoughts. Please like my Facebook page, Instagram or Twitter feed. You can also visit my iTunes station or website to stay in touch.
MUCH LOVE TO ALL MY ALCHEMISTS OUT THERE,
NANA
P.S. If you feel inspired by my video, please share it with others who you think will enjoy it.
“When you walk with purpose, you collide with destiny.”—Bertice Berry
You’ve had enough.
Enough of browsing The Huffington Post and Match.com. Enough of reading Live Your Legend articles and pinning photos of Michael Kors handbags you’d like to own one day.
You had coffee, billed a client, called your mom, billed a client, browsed Facebook 18 times and billed a client. Now you can’t wait until 8 p.m. so you can leave the office.
Your life as a corporate lawyer is soul-sucking, depressing and completely mind-numbing.
The thought runs through you. ‘Who cares about this @#$%? What does it matter who owns a piece of intellectual property? Who cares who buys who and who’s infringing on the trademark?’
As clients fight and your billables increase, you lose sleep, your hair and your sanity. Oh yeah, and your soul.
Yup, it’s time for a change.
You’ve decided to listen to the soft whispers you’ve heard your entire life, and to pursue your calling, your life’s work, your dream…
My transition to my purpose.
“Be the change you want to see in the world” is the quote from Gandhi that has had the most impact on my life. Growing up in America, I saw a world filled with inequality, injustice and powerful corporate interests that took advantage of others.
It’s why I went to law school and became a lawyer. I thought I could achieve the greatest amount of change in people’s lives, as well as in society, by helping to change laws and policies.
When I found myself filing lawsuits for unhappy neighbors, people who rear-ended each other and bitter spouses, I knew it was time to do something else.
I wanted to help people; the practice that called to me was immigration law. I also wanted to work on my own terms, so I left a stable, full-time, well-paying job at a law firm to start my own immigration practice.
Was I crazy? (Don’t answer that.)
I opened an online immigration office. During the year I spent preparing to leave my full-time job, I rented an office, built a website that advertised my legal services, and hired contractors to help with various aspects of the business.
I left my steady job and found myself immersed in the world of entrepreneurism and business. I had to quickly learn about online business, sales and marketing.
I felt overwhelmed but in my element. I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. I was a conduit or vehicle for families to unite, for people to build their dreams and to live their best lives in the United States.
I loved everything about the work but had to let it go when, a couple of years later, I started struggling financially. Running a new business was a challenge and I realized that I was investing much of my earnings back into the business.
I went back to a regular, full-time job, but over the next few years I experienced another strong pull to serve people, albeit in a different capacity. I found that I enjoyed coaching people more than I enjoyed doing legal work for them.
In my clients’ most critical hours, they seemed to benefit more from my coaching skills than from my legal skills. I could help people change their perspectives, reframe their situations and achieve more control of their lives.
I wanted to become a coach and I launched this blog.
As I’ve built the blog, I’ve once again gone into and out of employment. I’ve taken a coaching course and started helping people around the world build their lives after epic downfalls. I’ve helped people stand up after hitting rock bottom in their careers and relationships.
I’ve had to plan for this change, alter my lifestyle to fit my variable income and take small steps to build the business. But now more than ever I feel like I’m in my element.
I’m able to help people with their most challenging life situations by confronting the very obstacles that keep them stuck. I help them dramatically improve their lives. The people I coach have moved on from paralyzing relationships and left soul-crushing corporate careers to perform more meaningful work.
Why ditch the corporate ladder to live your purpose?
No one is asking you to quit your job and turn your life upside-down today.
Or asking you to live a life of hunger and poverty.
But you need to embark on this career change to stay true to your lifelong calling and dreams.
If you don’t know what your life calling is, that’s another story, and a discussion for another day. This post is for those of you who know what your mission in this world is. You’re just not doing anything about it. (If you’re trying to figure out your purpose, read this post, or, after signing up for my weekly updates, check out the e-book I wrote on the subject. You’ll receive a guide called “11 ways to discover your highest purpose…”.)
Consider changing your career and pursuing your dreams. Life’s too short, and you don’t want to live it in regret. You don’t want to retire in 30 years and think that you could have done so much more.
When you’re pursuing your purpose, you’re contributing your greatest good to the world. You are serving yourself by staying true to yourself. You’re having the biggest effect on people. Your purpose is a gift, and we should always share our gifts.
Finally, when you pursue your purpose and you’re in 100-percent alignment with it, you become better at what you do. You realize more opportunities and become luckier in life as circumstances fall into place.
Here are 14 tips to help you transition from your humdrum career to your purpose.
1. Seek more clarity.
Don’t jump into a new venture until you’re sure it’s what you want to do. Don’t look around and think, ‘That sounds fun,’ then dive into something that might not suit you. Don’t take big leaps until you’ve done both the internal work necessary for discovering your purpose and the practical work involved in figuring out how you’ll arrive there. In other words, plan and prepare to undergo a transition.
2. Listen to yourself.
You may be hearing soft whispers or loud chatters within yourself to pursue a calling. First, ensure it’s not the alcohol talking. Then, become more aware of this inner voice – your intuition and your guide. You may have heard it your entire life, and it may be screaming at you now to pursue your dream, live your purpose or follow your calling. Be more receptive to the messages you hear from yourself.
3. Are you passionate about it?
A good way to determine whether your plans are in line with your purpose is to discover whether you’re passionate about the new line of work.
Your passions can sustain your purpose. If you’re about to undergo a career transition, why not do something you enjoy? Why not do something that won’t feel like work? Why not do something that you LOVE? Determine those skills that you love in your current job and that you can incorporate into your next venture.
4. Are you good at it?
You have no idea how you’ll do in your new career, but consider whether your strengths transfer to that line of work. Ideally, you want to use skills and strengths that you already have and find a new place to use them. What skills and abilities does your new line of work require? Do you already have them or will you be able to develop them?
5. Earn experience in your new field.
Get it (experience) any way you can – attend workshops, volunteer, take part in an internship or find another way to jam your foot in the door. Can you build the skills for your next venture in your current job? Can you work in a different department or on different projects that will help you hone the skills you’ll need for your new career? Can you transfer divisions at your current job, or receive training for work you’ll do after you leave your current position?
6. Freelance or consult.
A great way to test your new interest or your lifelong calling is to consult. Become a freelancer and work for a flat fee or an hourly fee (or for no fee if you’re just starting out). Give yourself an opportunity to test your big move while you still have a job.
How valuable can you be to people? How can you foster change? How much can you learn while helping and serving others?
By consulting and freelancing, you’ll develop a better idea regarding whether you’d like to pursue your purpose full-time.
7. No more school.
Unless your calling is to be a heart surgeon or to represent people in court, don’t think that you need another degree or more education. You can do 95 percent of what you want to do by acquiring more experience, conducting your own research and taking online courses that help you better understand your business or career. Don’t feel as though you must go into debt or take out loans to pursue your calling. Don’t let your finances or the excuse of more school stop you from moving toward your purpose.
Don’t get me wrong – a few professional fields require that you obtain another degree or license. But you definitely don’t need a certificate from a fashion school to start a fashion line or a culinary degree to open your own restaurant. Be creative and resourceful, and learn on the job.
8. Prepare.
If you’re planning to change careers, research your next venture. Read, find information online, talk to people and determine what you’ll need during your transition. Give yourself enough time to prepare professionally, personally, financially and mentally.
9. Save up.
Start preparing your finances if you’re pursuing something risky or that will leave you with unstable income for the foreseeable future. If you’ll be starting a business, consulting or going from a full-time salaried job to an entrepreneurial project, ensure that you have enough savings to cover your basic expenses for the next 6 to 12 months.
10. Scale down.
If you’re living large now but will be taking a dramatic shift in the opposite direction when you start your business, scale down to reduce your personal expenses. Move to a less costly apartment, pay off your car, and reduce expenses like cable and your wine-of-the-month-club membership.
11. Seek mentors.
Before you take the jump, find mentors in the field. Use your current contacts or even new LinkedIn contacts to learn more about the field you’re interested in.
When I decided to transition from my previous job to coaching, I reached out to other coaches, speakers and personal development experts who do this kind of work. Some I contacted online and some I contacted in person. I asked people to put me in touch with their own contacts who were coaches.
Every mentor you meet can provide you with ideas, inspiration and practical information about your future career.
12. Build your network.
Although you should have a strong network regardless of where you are in your career, this is especially important when you transition to a new field.
You’ll need allies, partners and people to hire you. Find out who they are and reach out to them. If you’re moving to a new field and don’t have contacts in that industry, start meeting them.
Find out which LinkedIn groups your tribe belongs to. Determine what events and associations represent the people you’re interested in working with. Learn the speakers and leaders in that field.
Attend events and workshops to meet potential allies and clients.
13. Rebrand yourself.
Most people have trouble with this part, but it’s critical if you’re undergoing a career change. Here are a few ways to rebrand yourself so that you’re able to tell a new story.
You’ll have to reframe your past experiences so they mesh with your new line of work. Whatever you’ve done in the past, you must explain it in terms of your new career. You must help people see the connection between your former skills and your current position. You must demonstrate how your former skills and abilities are relevant today.
Let’s say you used to work in banking but now consult for small businesses. What are the skills and abilities you have from your past life that can serve others now?
Or let’s say you were in sales but are now trying to become a teacher. You must highlight your sales strengths (listening, problem solving, helping people) and demonstrate how they apply to your current job.
If you’re a stockbroker who wants to work for a charity, determine which skills and abilities you can transfer. You must show that your ability to decide wisely, perform thorough analyses and communicate effectively are relevant to your new job. Your ability to work well in team-based environments, and with others in general, is also key.
You must rebrand everything about yourself – from your resume and LinkedIn account to the way you talk about yourself to other people.
One effective way to rebrand yourself is to look for jobs that you’re not only interested in but that align with your purpose. Look up a sample job description that provides information about your industry of interest and that lists the skills and qualifications you’ll need. When you analyze those criteria, think about all the actions you’re taking now that are on that list. This will tell you exactly how you should rebrand yourself.
14. Stay true to yourself.
As you narrow down your purpose and pursue what you should be doing in this world, you’ll meet both internal and external resistance. In terms of your own resistance, you must ensure that what you’re doing aligns with your values. You must challenge negative beliefs.
In terms of resistance from others, you must acknowledge that you will face judgment. Society wants you to conform to what it finds acceptable.
How do you stand up to societal expectations and family pressures?
As certified life passion coach Barrie Davenport has written, “The secret to non-conformity is the willingness to accept discomfort for a time – to accept the anxiety of uncertainty, the fear of the unknown, and the tension of possible rejection. By accepting the inevitability of these feelings from the get-go, you can dilute some of the discomfort. The rest will disappear over time as you become comfortable – even excited – about being your own person.”
You must be willing to not fight over it, to not force others to understand what you’re doing and to simply stay true to your life’s calling. If what you want to do diverges from the straight path that others follow, stay vigilant and focused on your mission in life.
Thank you for tweeting out this post and liking it on Facebook. Photo credit *Billy Gast
Interested in discovering and transitioning to your life’s purpose? Please visit my life direction coaching page here. Pick up my book on changing careers here.
Purpose = Become the Buddha? Or just pose with the Buddha?
“All men (and women) should strive to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.” James Thurber
There was a time when I was doing work that was out of line with my purpose. It wasn’t all that long ago when I was practicing law as a trial lawyer helping those charged with crimes.
It was exciting, challenging and required using a lot of my speaking, writing and persuasive skills. (A lot of my persuasion skills 🙂 )
My days were filled with preparing cases for trial and then presenting the evidence to a jury of 12 who were to make decisions on my clients’ lives.
Shortly after this work, I became actively engrossed in the world of politics. I worked with and helped elect some of the leading politicians in the cities I lived in. Again, exciting and challenging work that really made me feel like I was making a difference in the world.
Once again, I withdrew from doing this work.
Each time I left these careers, I felt a little bit of sadness.
At the same time, I knew I was transitioning from work which didn’t suit my soul completely towards my calling or life purpose.
I didn’t quite know what it would take, but I did know the immediate consequences of my journey included sacrificing promotions, pay and stimulating work.
Despite these personal setbacks, I chose to live more of my life’s purpose so I could be true to myself.
Here are 9 strategies you can use to find your life purpose today.
1) Find a way to serve. If you have no idea what your life purpose is, find a way to serve someone.
Serve at home, work, or a volunteer clinic. Help a friend, a neighbor, your former professor, your mentors, your clients, your cat, your obnoxious boss or even your lovely mother-in-law.
Find ways to give back to people: a way to make their lives easier. If they need help with babysitting, cooking, dog-walking, or dog-searching, lend a helping hand.
If you have skills or qualifications that you can use to benefit others, help them.
In giving, you’ll discover what brings you joy.
2) Find your joy. A decadent chocolate souffle or a hearty steak dinner might make you joyful, but it might also give you heart-burn and cause you to gain a few extra pounds.
Not temporary moments of bliss but what brings you lasting happiness and joy?
Out of all the jobs you’ve had, which brought you the most joy? Write those down. If you hated all your jobs, which skills at those various jobs brought you the most happiness? Note those on a piece of paper as well.
When work stops feeling like work, you’ve found your joy. When you’ve found your joy or satisfied your soul’s yearning in life, you’re most likely living your purpose.
You may like writing, teaching, preaching, singing or running long distances. If each of these bring you joy, see how these activities can contribute to your purpose. What lessons can they teach you about your purpose?
Write down the things that bring you joy, so you can see what common qualities exist between those activities.
Also, try to determine WHY each activity brings you joy. For example, let’s say you enjoy working with people, you most likely enjoy human contact and connections.
If you enjoy making complex subjects easier for others to understand, you most likely enjoy helping others learn and grow.
3) Find your strength. What are you good at? What makes you stand out like a Hollywood star?
If you answer, ‘nothing’, then your strength might be humility because, of course, you’re good at something.
You’re good at something, as much as you hate to admit it to yourself.
When your professor told you that you’re the best researcher he had in college, you ignored him.
When your students told you that you helped them take their practice even deeper in yoga class, you thought it was out of obligation.
When your in-laws praised you for the zea-licious chicken curry you whipped up, you thought it was expected of you.
Often, you don’t acknowledge or admit what you’re good at because all too often you discount your strengths or ignore them altogether.
If you’re painting Mona Lisa-like paintings but not showing them to anyone, you’re depriving the world of your art and depriving yourself of your purpose.
Your personality type can offer clues to your strengths in life. Find your personality type and Penelope Trunk says you’ll find fulfillment and even passion in doing that work.
4) Find yourself. You might want to spend some time getting to know yourself in your quest to find your life’s calling.
A discussion with a trusted pal for self-reflection or other opportunities to take a step back and analyze your life, are good ways to discover yourself first.
Once you unmask all the superficial characteristics and qualities in your life, you will be better suited to find your purpose.
You’ve been conditioned by your family and your community to do certain jobs, have certain beliefs and pursue certain career paths.
Most of these beliefs imposed on you are fear-based and might make you feel like you’re drowning.
A mindfulness practice, continuously listening to your inner-self and reflections on your intuition are needed to bust through all the layers of family, community and society.
Living your purpose unfolds miraculously in front of your eyes when you figure out who you are, what you stand for and what you value.
5) Find your clues. In many instances, you already know your life purpose is, but are in denial about it. Fear-based or scarcity-based thinking deprives you from fulfilling your purpose.
You might already know what you excel at and what your strengths are. You know what people repeatedly compliment you about and what you do well. But you may not be acknowledging the clues which will lead you to your purpose.
Your purpose may have been scattered in various experiences through different educational experiences, life experiences and jobs. It may not even be career-related.
It may have been when you pursued a hobby or tinkered around with some gadgets at home as a kid.
It may have been revealed in a soul-touching incident which brought you wander, awe or desire to re-experience the incident.
It could be something you’re already doing each week or during a part of your day. You just have to grab that captivating experience and pursue it more intensely.
Read more about this in Paulo Coelho’s book, the Alchemist, where he refers to this as omens.
6) Find your motivation. Sure, you have to feed the kids’ dog because you have to. Ok, fine, you want to, as well, to keep the local animal protection agency from coming after you.
You do have to cook for the kids, or child protective services and/or prison time might be involved.
Reports to your boss might be required in exchange for a pay-check.
But what do you do without being coaxed?
What part of your life at home or day at work do you start without feeling like it’s an obligation?
What are you naturally motivated to do? Your purpose isn’t very far from that activity.
7) Find your small and big breaks.
“And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
When you’re doing your purpose, the most interesting manifestations occur. You begin seeing favor in your life supporting the work you’re doing. It’s yet another clue that what you’re doing is in line with your purpose.
Let’s say you’re trying to practice your public speaking skills at the local Toastmaster club and get an overwhelming positive response by all club members. Small break.
Or you started a small personal development and spirituality blog called Vishnu’ Virtues and snagged a guest post on your favorite space in the blog-o-sphere, The Tiny Buddha community. Small break.
Or you’re trying to make it as a professional life sage and guru and you’re suddenly spotted by Deepak Chopra. Big break.
Positive reflection from others or the universe, honors and accolades from others, opportunities to partner, grow and nurture your talents should be seen as indications that you’re on the right path.
8) Find what isn’t your purpose. As my friend Razwana would say, you can’t just sit back downing a glass of wine to discover what your purpose might be.
She’d say you have to get out there and try new things. If you believe something is your purpose, do it. Get your hands dirty, invest in the tools you need, provide that service for a friend or gift that product you made to a potential customer.
Purpose isn’t found in theories and daydreams. Purpose is found in taking action to match life’s work with your being.
Want to be a chef? Take a class? Start a food movement? Start a blog?
Want to direct a movie? Volunteer your directing abilities to local actors at the community college making independent movies.
Believe your purpose is creating a multi-million dollar business empire? Create a product to sell. Start a notebook. Provide a service. Freelance. Start a podcast to help others. Unleash your creative works.
And the caveat is that you may not find your purpose once you do some of this but you will know if it makes you happy and brings you joy. You’ll know if it’s something you want to do the rest of your life.
If it isn’t, eliminate it and keep moving forward.
Test what you believe is your purpose. Continue to do what resonates with you and give up what doesn’t.
9) Find the intuitive voice.
You likely have a small voice within yourself that has been guiding you and directing you your entire life.
Most of the time, you hardly pay attention to this voice.
Most of the time when you didn’t listen to this voice, things have gone haywire.
In the depth of silence, if you listened real intently, you can hear what this voice is saying to you.
It likely has been speaking to you your entire life and pointing you in a particular direction that you have completely ignored, not taken seriously or never really explored.
Is it the time to get quiet and tap into this intuition so you can be guided to pursuing your life’s purpose?
Have you found your life purpose? How did you find it?
I wanted to share with you 3 resources that you may find helpful on your own journey to your life purpose.
Pick up Paulo Coelho’s book, the Alchemist, here on the journey to your life purpose.
Pick up my book, One Way Ticket: 11 Ways to Discover Your Highest Purpose and Transition Out of Your Profession, here.
Jammie Karlman is married to a man I refer to as the James Bond of blogging and travel, Bjorn. This international couple of mystery, salsa-dancing and helping others are chronicling their travels on both their blogs which are updated regularly.
This international duo quit their jobs in California to travel around the world for a year doing service projects. Their plan is to spend 3 months in 4 world cities: Bangkok, Thailand; Buenos Aires, Argentina; Berlin, Germany; and Mumbai (formerly Bombay), India. (They call it the B Tour.) This trip has been a dream of theirs for five years. It’s really an experiment in lifestyle redesign. An international life of do-gooding and adventure is what they want for the long-term. (That, and tasty food.)
Take it away, Jammie!
Right now, we are in Buenos Aires and have just come to the end of our fifth month of travel. The food, so far, has indeed been mind-numbingly delicious. Other experiences (e.g. humidity, taxi drivers that scam you) have been decidedly less so.
But that’s travel for ya — constantly surprising.
Through the ups-and-downs of our experiences, here are 5 things I discovered that (usually) hold true:
1.) You can live with half the stuff you have now. Take the remainder, halve it again and you’re left with what you actually use.
You need less than you think. When my husband and I decided to go on this trip, we got rid of 80-90% of our stuff. And now I can’t remember what most of that stuff was. What does remain is the memory that it was heart- and back-breaking work. A LOT of work.
And here’s the kicker: As we travel, I find I still packed too much. I actually have clothes and shoes sitting in the closet right now that I barely use. This is some kind of craziness to me, especially as I was that girl who had so many clothes she could go a month without wearing the same item twice.
But this is not a rant against consumerism and materialism. I still like pretty clothes, shoes and tchotchkes. But the experience of throwing out nearly everything we owned has made me leery of having too many possessions.
2.) Starting a new life doesn’t mean old problems disappear.
I can honestly say that I am living the life that I want and that I am happy. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have pangs of insecurity and doubt about what I am doing or encounter difficulties with my character development. Just because I am traveling the world does not mean I left my baggage behind.
I had thought that by going on this trip, certain problems would resolve themselves. After all, I would no longer have to deal with particular annoying people. I would have more time to keep in contact with family and friends.
But halfway around the world from where I was, I am still having problems with people and keeping connected. How is it possible that almost all of the taxi drivers I encounter have cheated me or tried? I would like to blame all taxi drivers as being fraudulent, but I know that can not be true. If a problem is that recurrent and pervasive, it must mean that there is something I am doing that contributes to the problem. (Perhaps I lack assertiveness? Or is it self-fulfilling prophecy — I expect to be scammed and therefore I am?)
And I am STILL missing and forgetting people’s birthdays!
My real problem, I realize, is that I had wrongly ascribed the origins of my troubles to external sources (e.g. other people, overbearing schedule, etc.) when really they were internal. It’s always easier to blame “the other guy” when really you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
3.) Traveling makes it easier to take a long, hard look at yourself.
Aside from questions of how much time I will spend on service projects and devote to sleep, I have a pretty open schedule (I ain’t gonna lie: It’s pretty awesome.) I have found that the break from the rigors and structures of a normal 8-10 hour job has created more space for me; space that I fill dissecting events/experiences that disturbed me. I can’t as easily push these thoughts away; I don’t have the same distractions.
Usually, these events are so disturbing because they reveal something disturbing about me. For example, I recently blamed a taxi driver for a fast meter. I forced him to stop and made my husband and friends jump out of the cab. Turns out that all meters in Buenos Aires cabs go faster at night and that my accusations were unfounded.
Aside from feeling embarrassed, I was mystified about why I had such a violent reaction. Instead of dismissing it with the rationalization that “most cab drivers are jerks anyway” and/or avoiding dealing with it, I thought about the experience which eventually led to the conclusions mentioned in #2 about taxi drivers, and some strategies that I will employ next time.
4.) Traveling makes it easier to change
Aside from occasional visits from family and friends, Bjorn and I have been on our own. I am freed from the expectations of others who “know” me and how they think I should deal with problems or act. I no longer have to deal with what others think I should do or perceptions of what “Jammie would do” by what I have done in the past.
I can reinvent myself.
That makes it easier to attack character flaws from a new direction, to do things that you normally wouldn’t have. Just like a kid moving to a new school can reinvent themselves from shy to fly (yes, I did just use dated slang from the ‘90s) the same holds true with traveling.
Plus, I don’t feel “rushed.” I don’t feel the need to have changed and improved myself by the next time I meet with someone. It’s been a more forgiving process.
5.) You should just do it.
No, not just travel. What I’m getting at (besides possibly incurring the wrath of Nike) is that I have found it is better to take action toward a goal. As mentioned above, my husband and I had been dreaming about this trip for 5 years.
Five years of thwarted longing is not only torturous to the soul, but also enough time to build up insecurity, doubt and fear as obstacles to this trip for another 5 years (10? 15? 20…you get my point). It is better to take charge and take action for what you want. Now.
And here’s the crucially important (at least for me) part: You don’t have to be without fear to do it.
I found a definition of courage that I really like: “the ability to do something that frightens one.”
Notice it does not say that you stop being frightened— but you can do it, nonetheless. I freaked out (read: ran around a room screaming while wind-milling my arms — many times) before we even began this trip. But not even two weeks into our trip, I realized it was probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made — aside from choosing Bjorn as my husband, of course (Awwww! Hugs, kisses, sweetness, gags. :D)
Now when I get tingles of anxiety about doing something, it’s usually a sure sign that I should do it. Even if mistakes are made. Actually, that should just read: Mistakes will be made. The journey toward the life you want is not a straight line but a series of readjustments.
In a way, that makes change comforting, instead of frightening to me. Even if the actions you take don’t lead exactly where you want, you can always stop and correct course (unless those previous actions lead to death. Please plan your actions carefully and wisely and avoid most things that are illegal, immoral and fattening.)
Who can know what the future will hold? But as for me, I’m looking forward to what I’ll learn in the next five months.
What exciting places you been to? And what have you learned from your travel experiences?
You can read Jammie’s entertaining and informative travel blog here: Go Karlmans.
I help people overcome their devastating breakups and divorces and find love again. Instead of visiting the Himalayas, sign up below and join me. I am taking a writing break but will be back soon.
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