by Vishnu | Mar 9, 2014 | Faith, God, Spirituality
I've given up, people. Blogging now instead.
Imagine random strangers sauntering through your home at all times of the day and night to visit the temple-like prayer room.
If you’ve lived in such a home, you know you’re likely going to need a therapist later in life, join a monastic order or become a spirituality blogger.
And no, not for a second as a teenager did I think it was odd to have strangers and friends seek the blessings of our 3-foot granite elephant God statue, housed in a make-shift prayer room.
Those who visited the friendly Lord Ganesha usually came seeking blessings, peace of mind and stock market insights.
Survey says…“Don’t talk about God!”
While I didn’t ultimately join a cult or spend many years in therapy, I did start a blog which focuses on improving your life and even occasionally mentions God here and there.
So imagine my surprise when I did a reader survey recently and received an overwhelming response from you reminding me that the last thing you wanted to hear about was…God.
You don’t want to read about it and many of us don’t want to even think about it!
And you almost can’t say the word “God” out loud in public places ‘cause people will think you’ve lost your mind.
We are more interested in a game of Angry Birds, Harry Potter novels, Miley Cyrus twerks, Kim Kardashian selfies and what the new royal baby, Prince George, is wearing today than anything to do with the ruler of the universe.
What we’re going to do during half-time of a football game has become more interesting than the afterlife.
Sunday football now trumps a day of devotion.
Instant messaging now replaces the rosary and prayer. Karaoke has replaced choir practice.
No doubt, God’s on the run. And there are some legitimate reasons for God’s disappearance from our everyday lives.
After looking at some of the many reasons for God’s absence from our lives, I’ll propose 7 reasons to consider allowing God back into yours.
A laundry list of reasons why God is less popular Vladmir Putin and bachelor Juan Pablo.
♠ Why would you ever want to worship a God whose many followers seem to be judgmental and carry around a holier-than-thou attitude? If God-worshippers are arrogant and ego-fueled, what can God really have to offer?
♠ You can see your new Android phone. You can see and heart the photos you post on Instagram. You can observe the many floats streaming down 6th Avenue in New York during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade.
Unfortunately, you can’t SEE God. Not only can you not see God, the entity, but you don’t feel you have enough evidence of God’s existence.
♠ You’re frustrated, confused or just offended by the mumbo jumbo in religious texts. You’re weary of words like sin and salvation, atman and samsara, the Covenant and the Law, tawhid and wahid, flustered by the myriads of angels, prophets, and kings in the religious books.
♠ The ways of worship trouble you. You might disagree or be offended by various cultural and traditional practices for worshiping God around the world.
You find fire worship and chanting loony, prayer five times a day obsessive, or the practice of confession disconcerting, scary and giving you a feeling that you might do some jail time.
♠ The same reason you hated school and your parents while growing up: rules and commandments.
There doesn’t seem to be leeway.
The standards are just too high. Accepting God doesn’t seem to be enough.
If you make the wrong move, commit the wrong sin, or find yourself off course, you’ve bought a one-way ticket to hell, or you might be reincarnated as Charlie Sheen in your next life.
♠ Although God is accepting and open to all, you’re offended by the close-mindedness of it all.
If you drink, you’re not permitted to.
If you party, you’re told God doesn’t approve.
You’re condemned if you divorce, lie, steal, text and drive, or watch House of Cards.
You’re told what is tolerable and what will make you burn in hell for eternity.
♠ You’re terrified that religious folks are using God for their own social and political agendas, absolutely petrified that your life will be dictated by principles in holy books and dictates from one religion or the other. You see the religious fanatics in every country trying to dominate the political discourse and hijack civic life with religious legislation.
♠ God ruined your relationship, gifted you a mother-in-law from hell, forced you to become a lawyer, or made you live in Flint, Michigan!
God allows billions of people to go hungry, die in war and remain in abject poverty.
What kind of maniacal God would allow so much suffering?
You didn’t get the job you wanted, the man you desired, the home you had envisioned in your mind since you were six. Instead, your life has been filled with disappointments, failure and heartbreak.
♠ Scandal-ridden clergy members and controversial ministers who are hypocritical, abusive and showy.
Not cool.
The men and women who claim to serve God include cons, sex-hungry thieves and scandal-filled charlatans. They drive fast cars, pocket from the people they lead and flash bling like 50 Cent (the rapper, folks!).
Now, there may be a myriad of other reasons God is simply an afterthought in your life.
Why do YOU hate God?
Why do you treat God like a house guest who has overstayed her welcome? Hang up on God like a telemarketer calling at dinner time?
7 practical reasons to give God another go.
You might hate God and hate me now for writing about God.
As I said, many of you who answered my survey told me not to talk about God whatsoever, and yet here comes this post about God.
Don’t worry, friends, I promise you’ll only see posts about God as many times as you’ll see X-Factor judge, Simon Cowell, being kind to a contestant (never), but a little more than how many days it rains each year in Southern California (twice).
What God can do for you that cheap medication and the mafia can’t.
Forget about all the reasons you’re resisting and keeping God away from your life.
Develop a relationship with God and you’ll experience these 7 benefits in your life. (Hey, it’s cheaper than feel-good meds and less dangerous than asking for a favor from a mob boss)
1) Strength.
When life-crushing and soul-shaking experiences come into your life, how do you deal with it? Ok, after you put down the gin and rum, how do you deal with it?
Alcohol and medication can only help you cope for so long. When life is unusually cruel or throws you under the bus and runs over you a couple times, allow God to carry you through the difficulty.
You can share your sorrows, summon the strength to carry on and seek the counsel of God.
It’s like your own personal psychologist without the insurance companies, therapist couch or condescending personality, similar to a trusted, loyal, uplifting and supremely helpful best friend.
2) Meaning and fulfillment.
Have you pondered the meaning of life after a binge 50-episode Duck Dynasty marathon?
Or charged off on a holiday shopping spree to rival those of Victoria Beckham? All the while feeling like you’re caught up in a consumerist lifestyle which gives importance to material wealth and social status?
God allows you to find meaning and fulfillment in your life. You’ll realize that you yourself are enough. You’re divine! You don’t need to be anything or anyone else.
Your purpose now is to live a divinely-inspired life.
Cozying up to God can help you find fulfillment and purpose, including loving your neighbors, loving God more, serving others, or inspiring others to live more divinely-inspired lives.
3) Humility.
You may think you’re smarter than Einstein, hipper than Jay-Z, more beautiful than Heidi Klum and more talented than Jessica Chastain, but you’re probably more likely living in a place where cannabis is legal.
Many religious traditions talk about being meek and humble. You may find that tough to do as our monster-like egos consume our lives.
Putting God in perspective allows you to surrender your ego to this omniscient, omnipresent entity.
The greater presence of God in your life permits you to be open to others, to temper that gigantic ego and to be a person of service.
4) Peace of mind.
Isn’t it nice to know that you don’t have to travel life alone?
God’s available at a moment’s notice to listen and to be there for you.
You can conveniently unload life’s thorniest and weightiest problems on God.
All you have to say is, “God, I can’t handle this, give me the mental stability and emotional peace to deal with this challenge. Walk with, walk beside me, and help me through this one…”
5) A practice of love and compassion.
Having a greater divine presence in your life allows you to see the divine in other people.
You can become a more loving person by becoming a more God-inspired person.
God doesn’t want to hurt anyone or see anyone suffer. God’s NOT a mafia boss or an angry ex-lover.
God is love and compassion. Seek more God in your life and you’ll find that you’re more loving and compassionate to others.
Interestingly, today’s religious fanatics are usually the worst at showing love to others.
If you, on the other hand, understand that everyone shares the same divinity as you, you can’t help but feel a kindred spirit with your friends and neighbors (and even your family)
6) Hope in despair.
How will you wake up tomorrow?
How are you going to deal with your house being flooded, cancer, a divorce or a legal squabble?
With God, you have two kinds of hope. First, God promises that you’ll get through the rough patches and make it to a better day. You’ll have the strength and courage to face life’s most cruel trials.
God may not alleviate the situation as much as transform you to be more accepting and resilient in your life’s struggle.
God can inspire you to find solutions, seek resources and light that spark of creativity to change your circumstances.
The second way God can provide hope is by giving you comfort at the end of life.
Your trial run on earth can be rewarded with heaven, enlightenment, reincarnation or other eternal rewards.
7) Community and fellowship. Although there are many complications you’ll encounter with religion, each tradition offers you a unique way to congregate and respect God.
Find a suitable religion, and leave ones that don’t resonate with your soul.
To deal with life’s trials and tribulations, God can help us through the dark alleys, but you can also benefit from the help of a congregation, church or temple community on a similar life path.
Most traditions of God-worship are communal and bring together a community of people.
Your co-worshipers can provide the additional courage, understanding and direction to help you through the ups and downs of life.
They’ll be there in the good times and the soul-wrenching ones.
I hope you’ll consider giving God another chance.
I hope you’ll even consider purchasing this book I wrote about God, Is God Listening? I wrote it 2 years ago, but just put it up for sale for your reading pleasure. Yes, you’ll laugh, cry and think about God differently.
Are you willing to give God another go? Or are you going to jump out the third-story window if you ever hear the word “God” again 🙂 ? Let me hear you in the comments below.
by Vishnu | Jan 26, 2014 | Books, Enlightenment, Inspiration, Present Moment, Spirituality
“Don’t let the past steal your present.” Terri Guillemets
I have a confession to make.
Anyone who reads my blog knows that I write a lot about pain and heartbreak, inspired primarily by a painful and heart–shattering divorce.
Over the last couple years, divorce has taken me to the depths of my sanity, led me to question my very being and forced me to confront the deepest suffering.
Without question, this life event has held me back, kept me down and paralyzed my life.
It’s a subject I wrote about often, talked about often and thought about, even dreamt about, more often.
I allowed my agonizing thoughts to dominate my life as I embarked upon a steep path of growth and revitalization in my life.
Now that I can look back with a little more clarity, I can see how I replaced a person (my former spouse) with pain. How I made heartbreak and sorrow my companions.
Through a chance conversation with a childhood friend, I was re-introduced late last year to the one author and book that had previously touched my life.
You may also have read this ultimate guide to and celebration of living in the present moment: The Power of Now, by the soft-spoken spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle.
Tolle’s message of living in the present moment packs a punch of clarity, wisdom and absolute truth.
How do you live in the present moment?
It’s easy and sometimes even pleasurable to get caught up and live in our past.
You’ve likely experienced struggle, heartbreak, loneliness, failure and loss.
But you know what’s worse than experiencing any of these events once in your life?
Painfully replaying each of these moments over and over again in your mind.
In The Power of Now, Tolle reminds us that we don’t have to replay the horror, the pain, and sorrow of our pasts repeatedly in our minds.
6 “living in the moment” strategies Tolle shares in The Power of Now:
You probably aren’t going to spend another week of your life re-reading Tolle (although I highly recommend it) and it will likely take us all a couple lifetimes to fully understand Tolle’s reflections.
I’m going to take to try to take out the Tolle-speak and seemingly dense spiritual concepts and explain The Power of Now as I understood it.
Here are 6 practical and actionable steps Tolle suggests.
If you simply implement one of the strategies below and shift your mindset, I promise you that your life will change forever.
1. Stop thinking. “What the…!?” you’re wondering as you read this line…
Tolle provides a solution to reoccurring sadness and pain in your life. Your thoughts continue to replay in your mind like your favorite iTunes track.
Each replay is a swift reminder and a continuation of past pain.
“When you listen to that voice, listen to it impartially. That is to say, do not judge…You’ll soon realize: there is the voice, and here I am listening to it, watching it,” Tolle writes.
So sit and become aware of your life’s darkest moments repeating themselves in your thoughts.
In the course of your day, when you feel sadness and loss, just call your thoughts out: “There you go again, mind! Taking me through this roller coaster of emotions. Replaying that sad and tragic past once again…”
Stop the mental replay by becoming aware of the negative.
When you stop thinking of or re-playing painful events in your mind, Tolle says, “You’re no longer energizing the mind through identification with it. This is the beginning of the end of involuntary and compulsive thinking.”
Action: Watch your mind. Or watch for feelings of sadness and pain throughout the day. When you are feeling sorrow or pain, immediately call out the thoughts that led you there.
Thinking about your difficult childhood, the loss of a loved one, your pet dying?
Shine a flashlight on these sneaky thieves wandering around the dark alleys of your mind.
2. Be highly alert in the present moment.
Well, geez, how do you do that? By being completely present in any activity or conversation you are in.
Ask yourself, “Am I in the present moment?” in whatever it is that you’re doing.
“Am I focusing on the task at hand?”
“Am I here or are my thoughts floating in la la land?”
Give normal and everyday activities your full and utmost attention.
As an example, Tolle writes, “Every time you walk up and down the stairs in your house or place of work, pay close attention to every step, every moment, even your breathing. Be totally present.”
Do this while you’re walking around town, getting in and out of the elevator, walking to the train station or wandering around the grocery store.
Be present in every moment by paying as much attention as possible to that moment.
3. Become aware of the pain-body within you.
Tolle defines the pain-body as lingering emotional pain.
He notes that some of us live entirely through our pain-body, whereas in others, the pain-body may be asleep 90% of the time.
For example, I used to be preoccupied with the pain of breaking up about 90% of the time.
My pain-body became ever more important in my life because it gave me a troubling new sense of self.
In the past couple of years, I have spent less time thinking about and experiencing the pain-body of loss and heartache.
When you and I become our pain-bodies, we have something to identify with.
“I’m the person who suffered loss.”
“I’m heart-broken.”
“I’m that person who failed financially.”
After marinating in this identity, you get swept over by a wave of pain, sadness and sorrow, and it supplies you with your identity. Your ego identifies with this pain-body and your pain becomes your self-image. You become your past, your loss and your hurt.
“Once this pain-body has taken you over, you want more pain. You become a victim or a perpetrator. You want to inflict pain, or you want to suffer pain, or both…” Tolle reflects.
So, how do you dissolve this pain-body?
Tolle summarizes this process: “Focus attention on the feeling inside you. Know that it is the pain-body. Accept that it is there. Don’t think about it…don’t judge or analyze. Don’t make yourself an identity out of it.”
“Stay present and continue to be the observer of what is happening inside you…This is the power of the Now, the power of your own conscious presence.”
4. Be aware of the difference between your “life” and “life situation.”
Tolle makes a distinction between your life and your life’s circumstances or situations. He refers to life situations as “psychological time.” Life situations are the past and the future.
You resist what happened to you in the past, don’t accept it in the present and are anxious about the future.
Whatever is happening to you is your life situation, which happened in the past or could happen sometime in the future. Both of those places aren’t the present moment.
Tolle says you could have a lot of situational problems, and most lives are filled with them, but you should find complete comfort and peace in the present moment.
“Use your senses fully. Be where you are. Look around. Just look, don’t interpret. See the lights shapes, colors, textures. Be aware of the silent presence of each thing…” Tolle gently nudges us.
You don’t have to identify with or be defined by your past.
If you accept the present moment, you can deal with those situations as they are.
You can’t change what has happened and what is coming your way: past and future.
All you have at this exact moment is something that needs to be dealt with or accepted. That’s it! “Why make it into a problem?” Tolle inquires.
“All it takes is a simple choice, a simple decision: no matter what happens, I will create no more pain for myself. I will create no more problems.”
Although Tolle says this is a simple choice, I’m certain if you adapt this philosophy and start living it, your life will completely transform. You’ll be a new person who will no longer be crushed by the weight of the past or the future.
5. Drop negativity like a piece of hot coal.
For more happiness and peace of mind, Tolle proposes letting go of negativity.
“How do you drop a piece of hot coal that you are holding in your hand? How do you drop some heavy useless baggage that you are carrying? By recognizing that you don’t want to suffer the pain or carry the burden anymore and then letting go of it.”
You have a choice to be entrenched in your past or to live for the moment that you have right in front of you.
Often we’re chock-full of negativity in our life because we refuse to accept something that happened in the past or are resisting something occurring in the current moment.
Tolle’s suggestion is to choose the current moment and accept what is, choosing to let go of the heavy baggage and drop the hot coals by consciously choosing to let go of the pain of the past.
When you let go of the pain surrounding the past and the negativity associated with it, you will find an ever-present peace of mind in the present moment.
6. Let go of the future. I sure love the future, don’t you? What’s not to love about it?
In my future, there is happiness, bliss, abundance and eternal joy.
Of course, Tolle bursts all our bubbles and insists on prying the future out of our hands.
Forget the future, he says:
“‘When I obtain this or am free of that – then I will be okay’. This is the unconscious mind-set that creates the illusion of salvation in the future,” Tolle writes.
Sure, we could find peace, happiness, and fulfillment some day, or we could scratch that futuristic thinking and chose to have all of that in this very moment.
You don’t need to go anywhere to find this joyful state of being.
“You ‘get’ there by realizing you are there already,” is one of the most powerful Eckhart Tolle quotes in the Power of Now.
I devoured this book once a long while back, but this past year, I really started to understand it, and it’s been a life-changer.
You can CHOOSE to let go of your past pain and suffering.
Become aware of how those past misfortunes resonate with negative feelings, thoughts and emotions.
You suffered once, why suffer again?
The future is a whole other story that isn’t here – you can’t do anything about, can’t change it, can’t guarantee happiness in it. You don’t even know if you’ll be there when you get there. So why live for a tomorrow that may never come?
Live for the present. Live in this very moment.
Change your mindset and accept this very moment. Right now, chose to be happy, choose to let go, to lift that heavy burden off your shoulders and release the heaviness of the past and future this very minute.
Give yourself permission to breathe in and breathe out with peace of mind, acceptance and emotional freedom.
Would it be too much to call this enlightenment?
What are you doing at this very moment? Are you being fully present and going to leave a comment below ? 🙂 Tell me about your experiences or strategies for letting go of the past.
by Vishnu | Oct 28, 2013 | Activism and Politics, Spirituality
Marianne Williamson- our next Congresswoman?
“The world won’t step into its greatness until we step into ours.” Marianne Williamson
Quick – Can spiritual people get elected to political office?
That’s a question I’d like to ask you to answer after you’re done reading this post.
But first, last week was an exciting day for the spirituality and consciousness community.
For me, it wasn’t just because I had a chance to meet Marianne Williamson at the ARC theater in Los Angeles, but like many of us, I heard the refreshing news that she’s running for Congress in California’s 33rd district.
If you’re not familiar with Williamson, she is an international spiritual author, writer and speaker who has written 10 best-selling books, including the New York Times Bestseller, a Return to Love.
It felt like there was a standing ovation in the heavens when Marianne Williamson announced her candidacy.
The spiritual and consciousness communities around the United States have enthusiastically embraced her candidacy for all that Marianne stands for.
Soul sister, Heather Waxman, applauded Marianne’s ability to set the trend for a change in consciousness in the political sphere and urged us to get involved.
Mastin Kipp declared her victory. “When Marianne wins, it will inspire other seekers to run for office. And one after the other, we will begin to transform the political arena just like we are transforming every other part of life,” he wrote last week on the Daily Love.
Now that Marianne’s in this race, she’s intent on winning this election so she can be an independent voice who represents everyday people – not the moneyed interests or the special interests who run this country.
Having worked in campaign politics myself for the past 10 years, I know that there are many challenges that Marianne faces in winning a race like this, including the fact she’s running against a 36-year incumbent of Congress, a gerrymandered political district that favors the incumbent and heaps of special interest money.
Seven Practical Political Strategies to Win this Race.
If I were advising Marianne Williamson, like this were a traditional political campaign, here are seven campaign strategies on how to win this election:
1) Tell her life story to voters and relate how her personal story and life’s work is in stark contrast to others in the race who have made a career out of politics.
2) Distinguish herself on issues that matter to constituents in her district, specifically her views on the recent government shutdown and her take on the debt ceiling debate. Also, her own platform on jobs, education, the military, the prison system and the environment.
3) Informing voters how she can make her vision a reality. What are practical things she will do if elected today? Letting voters know the specifics of her platform and candidacy.
4) Listening to her constituents. Begin a series of town halls and house parties in her district where she can listen to the concerns of voters in her district.
5) Recruit, organize and inspire her constituents, supporters and readers in the district to reach out and talk to voters in the district. Start a conversation with voters about what issues matter to them and introduce voters to Marianne’s background and vision for a new kind politics, a politics that transcends party and money.
6) Pledge against taking money from lobbyists and large special interest political action committees. And challenge the other candidates to do the same. Also, shed light on exactly how much special interest money her opponent takes from the very industries he’s supposed to be regulating (especially energy and pharmaceutical companies).
Continue to mobilize the spiritual and consciousness community around the country to donate to the campaign and raise funds from smaller individual donors. (I just donated by the way and encourage you to as well by visiting: www.marianneforcongress.com)
7) Have days of action in the district where the community can join Marianne to volunteer, clean up and start taking direct action to improve the lives of regular people in the 33rd Congressional district.
Now, back to the question I had for you.
Many spiritual leaders, including Martin Luther King and Gandhi, had to launch movements outside of elected office. They used their moral authority to change the social and political structures.
What will it take to have someone who is spiritually-minded win an election?
Is it possible for spirit-filled and consciousness-based leaders to win in the rough and tumble world of money and power ingrained in our political system?
Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
by Vishnu | Sep 2, 2013 | Spirituality
Who let Vishnu in? And where in Buddha's name is security?
I’m going to be honest. I have been salivating to visit the largest Buddhist temple close to my home in Southern California.
Hungering for enlightenment, wisdom and peace.
Delicious Chinese vegetarian food, prepared by monks (who else would prepare them, right?). At bargain prices, according to Yelp!
In an attempt to impress family who visited recently (some of my most favorite people) and grab a delicious lunch in the process, we headed over to the Buddhist Hsi Lai Temple. And no, of course I didn’t tell them about my secret lunch plans. It was going to be a culinary surprise for me. For them, of course.
Here are the facts you need to know about the Buddhist sanctuary in case you show up 2 hours too early for the tour: Temple sits on a 15-acre parcel of land. 20 miles east of Los Angeles. Situated here for about 25 years.
Founded by the Venerable Master Hsing Yun, of Taiwanese descent. Represent!
Established this Buddhist order in 1967. 200 branches worldwide. Ordained more than 1,500 monks and nuns to serve the order. (Don’t fear, I’m not one of them.)
This temple serves as a cultural and spiritual hub of Buddhism for Taiwanese and Chinese Americans in the area. We took an early morning stroll around the temple grounds and soaked up the peaceful energy of this Buddhist sanctuary, some call the largest Buddhist temple in America.
We toured the grounds, snapped many photos and I decided to secretly take on the role of Indiana Jones – on a mission to find the vegetarian lunch!
Bottom line: lunch is only served at 11:30. Life Lesson: Don’t go to a temple without finding out what time food is served!
All we left with was some *&#^@())@@!# peace of mind.
And these photos below. If you’re in the Southern California area, drop by and visit this serene and heartening shrine dedicated to Buddha.
p.s. If you’re picky and have high demands for good quality photos, better check out Annie Hall’s blog, featuring Hsi Lai temple photos.
Get your peace on.
Throw your hands up.
Real women meditate.
Do you visit temples for the food or the spiritual knowledge and wisdom? No…I’m being serious.
Any recommendations of Buddhist temples to visit where you live? Commenting below will guarantee spiritual realization for you and a person of your choice. Peace 🙂
by Vishnu | Jul 8, 2013 | Culture, Faith, God, Religion, Spirituality, Traditions
My life will forever be tied to Kota Bharu, Malaysia.
Yes, it’s officially the name I see on my birth certificate under birthplace.
But this also feels like the town of my spiritual birthplace.
Growing up, visits to Kota Bharu were always filled with audible Muslim prayers around town throughout the day, visits to the Hindu Sri Muthumarrian temple and plenty of 4 a.m. prayer time with my grandparents. Well, they prayed. I tried to stay awake.
I’m back once again visiting this northeastern Malaysian town that has so much family and spiritual significance to me. It’s also the place my great-grandfather moved to from India nearly 100 years ago.
Here are some photos of the Sri Muthumariamman temple from the Thai-border town of Tumpat. The South Indian Mother Goddess Mariamman, believed to have been found in the sands along the beach of the coastal town of Tumpat 100 years ago, resides here.
Like my friend Vidya who shares beautiful visits of temples in South India, I hope you enjoy a few photos below from my recent travels and temple visits.
Lord Ganesha
Lakshmi- the Hindu Goddess of wealth
The 100+ year old Tumpat temple
Decorative tower, or gopuram, above the temple entrance
So many memories of Tumpat temple visits, which is about 30 km away from the main town of Kota Bharu. The last years in Kota Bharu have brought forth a more centrally-located temple, the Siva Subramaniyar temple. The temple opened in 2004 and serves the local Indian Hindu communities in the central part of town. A few more pics:
The newest Kota Bharu addition
Hindu Gods welcoming visitors
Say What!?!
As I’m visiting temples and family in Kota Bharu, I hope you’re having a good summer too. Going anywhere interesting? Let me know in the comments below.
* Did you know that I post inspirational message and travel photos on Facebook. Add me and keep in touch:)
![5 Challenges When Returning to the Homeland [Portland –> Philippines]](https://www.vishnusvirtues.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/purplepanda-300x199.jpg)
by Vishnu | May 19, 2013 | Culture, Happiness, Inspiration, Optimism, Overcoming Challenges, Personal Development, Perspective, Purpose, Spirituality
Janet Brent - sooooo Pinoy!!
I’m a first generation Filipino immigrant to the United States and I’ve got a legit American passport to prove it.
In our first-time plane journey, Mom and I flew to the U.S. from the Philippines to begin our new lives. It all started from one of those pen-pal services that my mom joined pre-online dating sites. Sounds like a ‘Mail Order Brides’ kind of operation to me but who am I to judge?
Mom did what she had to do. All she selflessly wanted was a better life for me.
I spent my whole life growing up in the States; from pre-school through college.
I even worked my first two “professional jobs” in the U.S. We’d visit the Philippines every couple years if money allowed it and when I had those long summer vacations. My last visit was at the age of twenty with Mom. By that time, I was already telling my Tita (aunt) that I wanted to visit on my own next time and really travel the Philippines.
I forgot about this prophetic comment until my next visit six years later. I was twenty-five going on twenty-six.
Newly emerged from a self-proclaimed “quarterlife crisis” in which I had let go of a 5 year long relationship complete with house, mortgage and a dog. That was slowly killing that fire within, that frees-spirit, that wanderlust that I always had. I knew I had to make big changes and so I walked away.
I uprooted my entire life just to reverse all the opportunities I’d known to embrace my Filipino culture and living with my own people.
I thought returning home would be ‘a spiritual coming home’ experience – a return to my roots. I was going back to the homeland. I’m still here now, but it ain’t all bed and roses. Sometimes, it’s wooden floors and coconuts. It’s a strange sort of culture clash, when you’ve all but lost your own culture.
5 Challenges of Returning Home
1. IDENTITY or “Being Told I’m not Pinoy.”
The term ‘Pinoy’ is used to describe a person from the Philippines; a Filipino.
Pinoy can also refer to the native culture of the Philippines. e.g. “Woke up to bad karaoke blasting from the neighbors singing Michael Jackson’s ‘Beat It’. That’s so Pinoy!”
I have had many times, especially during when I first landed, where people have told me to my face that I am ‘not Pinoy’.
Who am I if I’m not even Filipino?
Are Filipino-Americans, particularly the Filipino-Americans who don’t know their own language fluently (guilty), such aliens?
Am I a freak?
Do I not belong in my country of birth?
Who am I if I’m not Pinoy?
The comments stung as I grasped for a sense of my own ever-changing identity.
Who am I if I’m not Pinoy and these aren’t my people? Identity is a real bitch. Each devaluation, regardless of the cultural context (OK, so I know I’m not as “Pinoy” as I am “American”), is a kick in the gut. It hurts.
2. ICE COLD SHOWERS or “Going Native.”
Joel Runyon, who runs the popular Impossible HQ, thought it would be weird and crazy to take cold showers for a month just because he can.
I mean, who does that!?
Filipinos.
And probably a big chunk of the world population not in the top 8% we call America. Cold showers are a reality for developing countries and “going native”.
Filling buckets of cold water and using little “dippers” to dump water over my head is a reality for most, especially in the province (Bonus points if you can do this outside with your clothes on. DOUBLE bonus if you can do this outside in your birthday suit. Context is everything. And if you’re wondering, heck yeah, I’ve done both.).
Despite the humid, hot environment, cold showers still take some getting used to.
My technique?
Grabbing my boobs with both hands to cover them while simultaneously jumping up and down with flip-flops (it’s weird to shower barefoot) under the shower. Once I get used to the temperature I let go of my boobs and hang loose, baby! So who’s the crazy one now?
3. CULTURE SHOCK or ‘You’re so yuppy!’
Culture shock is a broad category that can cover a myriad of situations and examples.
But the opposite of ‘Pinoy’ and not being culturally “native” is being ‘sosyal’ (think “social” with an accent). This term refers to the higher-class, often “yuppy” groups of Westernized socialites and urbanites out of touch with their native culture. These social elites live in high rises and not the bahay kubo (“high rise” house on stilts made out of bamboo that the provincial poor dwell in).
I am the LEAST poshy least social person ever and I live in the slums but I still get labeled ‘yuppy’ because it also refers to the mindset, if not the lifestyle, of a Westernized person.
(By the way, things like using utensils to eat instead of a fork and spoon gets you marked a sosyal!?!)
4. GIMME A KISS AND YO’ US DOLLARS or “Family Obligation.”
Money is a real bitch here, and family members are expected to help out collectively, for the greater good of the family. That’s all fine and dandy but it also means you can get taken advantage of as the “rich” Westerner. This was completely new to me having gone back for the first time by myself.
This is a huge culture shock for someone trying to travel and live on a budget!
Add to this the passive-aggressive communication style. How my aunts would call my mom on the phone to talk about how I wasn’t paying and my mom would call me to tell me I needed to pay. Big turn off.
To this day, I still hesitate visiting knowing that I’m expected to shell out money, and being guilt tripped if I don’t.
Now that’s so Pinoy!
At my current rate, trying to build my web/blog design business (www.byjanet.net), I’m just trying to survive like the rest of the ‘Pinoys’, with very little money to spare.
5. SLUMS or “I’m a Survivor.”
My life is so much different than it was a few years ago. I am now living in the Manila slums when I found my money run dry and was faced with living in the cheapest rent of the city that I could find.
This is like a season of “Survivor” but I guarantee you there’s no million dollar grand prize if I survive.
Not surviving means not making rent or having dinner!
My ‘coming home’ path wasn’t the path I had imagined but I’m certain it is the path that will ultimately make me succeed as a person.
Coming home does have it’s plusses – I am with my people (like it or not) I speak Tagalog daily (so Pinoy!).
I eat with my hands (more often at least) I’ve learnt persistence, survival skills and become more of a local than when I first landed here.
You know what? It feels good to be home.
Did you enjoy Janet’s story? Have you had to ‘go home’? Was your return home anything like Janet’s experience? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below
Janet Brent is a straight-up Pinoy, still living in the Phillipines and chasing her entrepreneurial dreams. She works with creative and holistic writers and authors to build web platforms, design ebooks and assists with product launches over at the Purple Panda. She’s also living on $2 U.S. dollars a day this month.
