Is it too late to go back to my regular life in Brooklyn?
If you’re a spiritual-seeker hunting for the truth, you might feel like you’re regularly letting yourself down.
You don’t have enough hours in the day to play chauffeur to the kids, be a fabulous manager at work, and super-volunteer in your church and community.
You may feel like your spiritual pursuits go to the wayside. You’d like to live a more spiritual and religious life but you’re just not able to do it ALL.
Wouldn’t it be nice to give it all up, move to a local mountain-side commune and spend the rest of your life seeking self-realization?
Should you disappear into the forests once and for all until you’ve become an enlightened human?
ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Learn to find spirituality in the world you live in.
You don’t have to pack up the suitcases, sell the house, abandon your family and hit the closest mountain resort to live the monastic lifestyle with a religious community.
You can be just where you are and continue to seek the spiritual life.
Learn to live in the ‘real’ (ok, “illusionary”) world.
You will learn many spiritual lessons in the world you live in today.
You want to move to the ashram, mountains or cave to find enlightenment. But you’re not going to find it there. Well, you might find it there but you’re not going to get to realization if you can’t conquer living in the places you do now.
You’re not going to get traffic jams, lawsuits, suspicious neighbors, antagonistic supervisors, penny-pinching landlords and rebellious children in the ashram!
You’re not going to get offended, heart-broken, crushed, pained, lied to, saddened, depressed in a mountain setting.
No money worries, loved ones dying, divorce, bankruptcy, failure, when you’re solely in deep spiritual pursuits.
Balance your spiritual life with your material life.
Your life gives you plenty of opportunities to practice spirituality: it allows you to confront people and circumstances who will hijack your peace and test your patience.
Not wanting to punch the motorcyclist who just cut you off on the freeway is a divine practice.
Choosing to forgive the man who just duped you of your life’s savings is a spiritual exercise.
Your life allows you to tame your ego, perfect your character and make choices about how you accept your life’s circumstances.
You will also have time for inner spiritual growth, mindfulness and prayer.
You can bring in spiritual practices into your life if you simply prioritize the importance of them.
Start small spiritual habits and be consistent with them.
A little spirituality every day.
Become a better person every day. Build your character every day. Find the spiritual answers to your life’s problems and circumstances.
Take the high road. Take the spiritual road. Give. Forgive. Love.
Be mindful. Peaceful. Thoughtful. Generous. Soul-Centered.
Use every situation and encounter to practice love.
Build up small spiritual practices daily that recognizes the divine. Practices which allows you to reflect on your mind and see through the illusions of the material world.
Stop the “I don’t have time excuse”
You may want to move to the ashram or commune of your dreams because you’ll have all the time in the world there to pursue your spiritual desires.
Pursue those desires right from where you are.
Make time for the things that matter in your life.
If you’d like to seek God, wake up earlier to reflect upon Him.
If you’d like clarity, be mindful throughout the day and spend a few minutes each day watching your thoughts drift through your mind.
Breathe.
Find the time. Make the time. Schedule the time.
Refuse to live by the “all or nothing” strategy some realized beings have taken.
You DO NOT have to go all in. You DO NOT have to spend every minute and every hour in prayer and meditation. You don’t have to do that remotely, in silence or by yourself.
You can chose the middle path. You can straddle the world you live in with the spiritual world.
You can be in the world. You don’t have to be of the world.
You don’t have to choose between the normal life of suburbia and family against the spiritual world of realized beings.
You can seek your best self and find your highest source of inspiration in daily life and everyday moments.
Forgive yourself for imperfections and keep trying every day.
If you’re human, you’ll have a bad day. You’ll fall off the fire-truck when putting out a fire.
You’ll blow half your salary on the roulette table.
Commit perjury, adultery, forgery, thievery and find yourself with all kind of other quandaries.
You might not have time today for silence, meditation, prayer, divinity.
Intentionally hurt someone else.
Refused to forgive a parent who’s wounded you.
Ignored your friends who desperately seek your help.
Refused to let go of your ego so you can salvage the friendship.
When you fall off the path to self-knowledge and enlightenment, keep going. Start over. Start again.
Do not move to the woods, mountains or your favorite religious order in search for the truth.
Friends, if you ever tell me you’re moving to the woods to spend the rest of your life trying to reach enlightenment, I’m going to do three things. First, get a hold of my ex-wife, a psychiatrist, to give you a special rate on weekly therapy. Second, contact the local police department to try to stop your planned-escape and finally, spend the rest of my time trying to track you down and bringing you back to your regular life.
Don’t take the easy way out.
Refuse to disengage completely from people, circumstances and the pressures of the world around you.
Listen, you’re hearing this straight from someone who would be first in line to join a monastery, new religious order or cult. If there’s a promise of free meals and self-realization, I’d get in line like your zealous holiday shopper, setting up a tent overnight to purchase my flat screen tv.
I’m not going to join the order. The brotherhood. The nunhood. Or any ‘hood’ with anyone wearing robes, saffron sheets or sunbathing in the nude.
I’m going to stay and fight. Fight, you say. Fight what?
Fight to come to terms with your human self. To become a better version of you.
Fight your anger, ego, desires, imperfections and all of your human qualities. Fight to become a better person.
You can’t fight in isolation without other humans, without worldly problems and without being challenged. In my opinion, that’s the easy way out.
Let’s confront our nemesis, face our ego, work on our shortfalls. Let’s work on loving our Creator more every day while we’re fighting the battles of our daily lives.
Ever thought about living the life of monastic? (Oh, you haven’t. 🙂 )
To pick up my book, Is God Listening, about God, spirituality and resiliency, click here.
“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” the Dalai Lama
Do you think about happiness much?
Like why you’re unhappy all the time? Or why your life is as happy as bottomless Mimosas, advertisement-free television and 3-day weekends?
Or are you like most people out there, having experienced brief periods of bliss, but generally searching for that elusive concept called happiness?
If you’re searching for happiness like a banker searching for sunny tax-shelter islands or the Bachelorette searching for the man of her dreams, then you’ve got to watch this video above.
As you watch this video, you’ll ask yourself a number of questions.
Vishnu, what do you know about happiness?
Very little, my friends. That’s why I followed Gretchen Ruben’s advice to imitate a spiritual master and picked up this book by the Dalai Lama called, The Art of Happiness. I dug into the nitty-gritty details and pulled out the pearls of wisdom the Dalai Lama shares on the subject of happiness.
Yes, you can spend 7 hours reading this book or 7 minutes listening to me tell you what I learned from the Dalai Lama’s handbook on happiness.
What I learned from this book, Eckhart Tolle’s book, and my friend, Galen Pearl’s book on happiness, is that happiness is really an inside job. We can change our mindset and take practical actions to strive towards more happiness in our lives. I share at least 6 of the Dalai Lama’s strategies in this post.
Why in God’s name are you in front of a Christmas tree?
I was going for the Santa Claus look then realized that I had neither the costume, the beard or the hat.
Actually, this video was made during the Christmas holidays — what better backdrop for your viewing pleasure than this decorated Christmas tree?
What’s up with the lighting and why does this video look like some low-budget movie production?
Simply, cause that’s what it is my friends. Me, my flip cam, the bad lighting, the Dalai Lama and you. I’m no professional and this is one of my first videos. Until I get the lighting down or hire Oprah’s cameraman, bear with me.
Watch this video, then please share your thoughts with me in the comments below. I want to hear from you – yes, you! Tell me, what makes you happy? What are your rules for happiness?
“Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays“Soren Kierkesgaard
What do you pray for in your life?
If you were anything like me as a kid, you prayed for your favorite toys and electronic gadgets to show up on Christmas, acing your exams, winning the soccer match and longing for your favorite pizza to manifest for dinner.
Later in life, you might have prayed for admission into the college of your dreams, professional success, marital harmony, healthy children, and lots of moolah $$
What you pray for.
Often in life, we pray to God for material possessions (a new Iphone, pay raises or your own tropical island), personal favors (like the Giants winning the World Series or the cop letting you go without ticketing your) and for a stroke or luck (winning the lottery or your stock broker actually being right for once 🙂
Nothing wrong with praying for favors.
In fact, God is there for your favors. If you live by God’s laws and obey His command, you’re going to reap the rewards of His favor.
But sometimes, life puts us through trials and tribulations. We don’t always get what we want. The house, the man of our dreams, the job or the financial security we desired may not materialize.
We then blame God. And wonder why he has forsaken us.
You can pray for favor but consider praying for the prayers that can transform you.
The prayers than can transform your life.
“Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.” Psalm 100
You have more in your life than you can imagine. And more to be thankful for than what you desire in your life. Instead of wanting, why not be appreciative for the blessings you do have?
Why pray for the promotion when you can be thankful for the job? Why pray for a bigger house when you can be grateful for the one you’re already living in?
Instead of asking in prayer, be grateful in prayer.
Pray for strength.
We tend to ask God to help us solve situations, fix circumstances and change the calamities in our lives. When you’re down and scuffling with life, you ask God why He’s testing you? You wish God can abracadabra the situation and change it.
What if instead of asking for a change of circumstance, you pray for strength to deal with whatever tribulations come your way? It doesn’t matter how horrific, heart-breaking or soul-crushing, why don’t we ask God to give us the mental and emotional power to tackle the pains and hurts we confront?
Give us the ability to reach out to the get the help we need, to find the scriptures that soothe us, to have the power to bear life’s challenges.
Pray for humility.
Ever asked God for fame and recognition in the eyes of friends and family? Ever asked for attention and recognition?
Why not ask for humility instead. Humble with the gifts that God has given us. Humble for the special qualities we have. Humble for the many blessings we have in our lives.
When we’re walking around with our head held high and our egos on the loose, ask God to put our lives in perspective for us. Help us tame our ego. Help us think about others and not ourselves.
Pray for others.
We tend to focus on ourselves in prayer. ‘Oh, God help me win this game. Help me write this book. Help me find peace. Help me land the job.’
We are us-focused. Why not pray for the problems and challenges our family, friends, colleagues and neighbors face?
Ask God to help them, guide them, lead them and lead them. Let’s turn our focus from us to others. Let’s ask God to give strength to those who need it. Those grieving, those hurting, those who have lost everything.
Pray for hope.
Your situation may be unimaginable and dark. Ask God to fill with you hope. To remind you and take you towards the flicker of light at top of the summit. Similar to praying for strength, finding the inner abilty to always be more positive. To seek a better tomorrow. To be able to deal with what comes our way knowing it will get better.
Pray for self-awareness and understanding.
We often think we’re in the right and everyone else is in the wrong. We think we are the ones who have it figured out. What’s wrong with everyone else? Why does it seem like everyone else has lost their mind? Why is the problem so challenging?
Why don’t your parents, husband, clients or children understand you?
Seek understanding. That you may not know everything about yourself but seek the inner knowledge to know more about yourself. That your thoughts become clearer. Your intuition becomes stronger. Your awareness of your behavior, perspective and actions makes more sense to you.
You can step back and be more mindful of yourself. This may take prayer to achieve. It may take meditation.
Pray for compassion.
Pray that you’re able to empathize for yourself and others. Be able to take it easy on yourself. Pray that you don’t view yourself as a failure and you can accept yourself for the person you are. And that you can extend that same compassion for others. You can feel, understand and put yourself in the shoes of others.
That you’ll be able to share in their grief and problems.
Pray for patience.
Why do you demand everything happen immediately in your life? When it comes to the plane taking off on time or in God responding your prayers?
Why can’t you wait for five minutes or 5 years. Pray that you’ll have the patience to not know when, how long, how far or how often and that you’ll be ok with that.
Pray for forgiveness.
Forgiving those that have wronged you is hard. Although the wrongs may be petty, the monstrous ego gets in the way and tells us that we are right, we’ve done no wrong and that we deserve the apology.
Pray that you can forgive. Pray that others may not know what they’re doing sometimes. That others may be lost, confused, mistaken, unaware, and hurt your unintentionally.
Pray for wisdom.
Pray that you will be wiser with every passing day. That you’ll understand the world better today. Understand yourself better. Understand God better. Understand the truths of the world better. You will learn the lessons that God has been trying to teach you your entire life.
Friends, if you’re going to pray, don’t put God in a tough spot. Don’t demand your stock portfolio double or your damaged car won’t cost you an arm and a leg.
Don’t pray for quick-fixes and Godfather-like-favors.
Pray for what really matters. Pray for the qualities that can transform your life.
Who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down?
“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” Oprah
Need more friends in your life?
No, you don’t!
What!!?? How could you say that V?
Well, I can say that, dear friend and blog reader of mine, because if you’re anything like me, you have an abundance of friends in your life. Or maybe HAD?
From our school and university days to our work days, we make friends. We are regularly around folks who are initially suspecting strangers, then mildly warm acquaintances to finally being best buds we want to spend every minute of our time with. (Well, not every minute – that might make you a stalker!)
Some of us might actually need more friends in our lives. If you don’t have any, yes, you need one.
If you have some (friends that is), you should strive to nurture those friendships instead of finding new ones.
Why friendship matters?
During three critical periods in my life, friends were there for me. And helped save my life. Ok, my sanity, at least.
When I was in my final year of high school in Northern California and my family moved back to Malaysia, I moved in with family friends. Along with them, many of my friends from secondary was how I was able to keep a sense of normalcy in my life. I was 17-years-old and found myself completely alone during the most important year of school. Friends were there for companionship, advice and help.
During college, I again found myself in a new city, living in a college dorm. I didn’t know a single person on campus when I arrived during what was probably one of the rockier years of my life. Getting adjusted to college life and complete responsibility for myself would have been tough if I didn’t have the help of room-mates, dorm-mates and friends.
Most recently, after my divorce, friends were the people in my life that I could most rely on for objective advice, non-judgment and understanding. As painful as divorce was, one of the many positive results were the unbending friendships which only became stronger.
Friends are there through the rough and smooth patches of travel. They are there to celebrate the dazzling moments but really are there when you crash, fall down, or fall apart.
A friend can share advice, change your perspective or even be a shoulder to lean on.
A friend in a moment of need can help you through the most prickly of life circumstances and salvage your well-being.
If they can uplift you perspective, rejuvenate your life, mend your soul, rally your drive – aren’t they changing you life? And your outlook on the world?
How do you keep your best friends forever (bff’s) instead of making new ones every 6months?
You don’t need new friends. You don’t need a lot of friends.
Value the ones you do have. Strengthen the friendship in your life.
How you ask?
Visit my guest post over at Mary Jaksch’s blog and find ten simple ways to strengthen your friendships (Please leave me a comment over there and let me know about the rock-solid friendships in your life and what you’ve done to sustain them)
Free air-conditioning and rent. What could get better than this?
It was 1:30 a.m.
I was startled awake by a loud knocking on the door. My friend’s roommate had returned a week earlier than planned, and would be needing the room.
Yes, the very room I was sleeping in. That very night.
I hurriedly packed my things, cleaned up, and moved to the comforts of the nearby living room where a beaten-up sofa welcomed me.
I have been couch-surfing ever since.
After sleeping in spare rooms – and on couches – for the past 6 months, I’ve started reflecting on my life.
Can it get any worse?
I now own sufficiently few possessions that they can all fit in my car. I’m equipped to travel with all my worldly possessions in tow: clothes, dishes, laundry basket, ironing board, lamps…
I’m also technically homeless, as I no longer have a permanent residence. My brother has been generous enough to provide a temporary room (and a mailing address) when I need it. My friend Diane kindly let me stay at her home on my last job.
I became jobless the day my last campaign ended in November. Although I should be accustomed to the fact that my employed life ends on election days due to the nature of my work in grassroots activism, it’s still unsettling and terrifying for the period of unemployment that follows.
I also became legally single more than a year ago after a sad – if amicable – divorce. Divorce changed everything I had known about my place in the world and my future and left me lost and searching for meaning.
During this time, I grew increasingly isolated. I eventually stopped contacting my unsupportive parents, who couldn’t see past a wounded family name to be supportive during difficult circumstances.
So, yes, to sum up my life at the moment: homeless, unemployed, divorced and isolated. And don’t forget couch-surfing, with all my worldly belongings in my vehicle.
Can it get any better?
Upon further reflection, I also realized that the four months I spent traveling in Central America last year were some of the best I’d had.
When I returned, I started working on a series of independent and freelance jobs, work which I put very little effort into finding. In fact, a recent project that came out of nowhere might actually turn into a full-fledged business.
Not having a home has allowed me to travel up and down the beautiful state of California. I’ve been grateful to reconnect with friends of new and old who’ve take me in, treated me like an honored guest, fed me, and opened their homes to me.
Not having a spouse has allowed me time to seek out many old friends, family friends, new friends, and blogger friends. So many relationships which have been rekindled, refreshed and renewed.
I’ve immersed myself in weeks of Spanish classes, lived in homes with beautiful views….
A beautiful view of the California bay.
I also attended nearly a month of Sunday church services at the Cavalry Chapel in Chino Hills, Baptist church services in San Diego and a visit to the Zen Center in San Francisco.
Are these the best of times? Or the worst of times?
I find it hard to think of myself as unemployed, homeless, divorced and alienated from my parents. I’ve found, instead, that the people in my life now bring me infinite happiness, the temporary housing has brought me into contact with wonderful people and places to live, unemployment has brought forth exciting opportunities, and spiritual discoveries have helped me uncover lessons of a lifetime!
Here are 6 life lessons I’ve learned in the process.
1) Change happens. Embrace it. I once hated change like you hate being pick-pocketed. It can be intrusive and inconvenient. One minute you have something, the next minute you don’t.
But I’ve realized that being able to adapt to changing circumstances makes you stronger, wiser and calmer. Change can be unsettling, but it also spurs growth. I’ve learned to embrace change, rather than shy away from it. Now, I welcome it.
2) The universe knows better than you. Trust it. I used to demand that my life work out a certain way, always trying to be in control of the circumstances. When life took its own twists and turns, I realized I could no longer do that. And the universe was infinitely wise in bringing me opportunities that were a perfect fit for me.
3) Friendship is a choice. Cherish it. While I am no longer with my spouse, or in touch with my parents, I’ve created much stronger bonds with everyone else in my life. My brother, who I fought with growing up, has been both supportive and helpful. I’ve strengthened relationships with many friends from my past, and reconnected with many people who fell out of touch.
Since friendships are a choice, you can make a choice to value them and work on them.
4) Gratefulness is a practice. Thank it. Although so many bad things have happened, so many great things have also swooped in. I’m grateful for the positive people, circumstances and energy I have found.
When you notice, acknowledge and appreciate the positive events in your life, you invite more of the same in.
5) Happiness is a choice. Choose it. Here’s the thing about happiness: you’re confronted with many opportunities to be happy each day. I have come to realize that I can choose happiness in every decision. So, I choose to be happy in both the simple and big events in my life. The people you’re with, the places you go, the work you do – all are laden with choices.
You have the power to choose happiness, and that’s a compelling feeling.
6) Happiness comes from within. Be it. You don’t have to go very far to be happy. No one person or event or job will make you happy. Happiness is an everyday practice. And more importantly, it comes from within. You have the ability to be happy exactly where you are, without doing one thing more.
Find the happiness in what you have, where you are, in the moment.
“I could chose to see this differently.” – A course in miracles*
I used to feel like I had so much control over my life. Now I feel like I’ve surrendered my life to the universe, and it leads ME.
I used to be so averse to change. Now I welcome it, accepting that it’s a part of life.
I used to strive towards happiness someday. Now, I simply choose to find it every day.
I used to hate falling. But now I realize that, the more I fall, the more I learn and the quicker I get back up.
Where you are in life has a lot to do with perspective. If you’re willing to change your perspective, the world around you changes.
Have you had life experiences that were both positive and negative at the same time? Something that was painful, but spurred personal and spiritual growth in the end? Please share your thoughts in the comments below. * If you would like to share your story through a guest post, please reach out to me. * Thanks for sharing this wonderful quote Galen.
If I don't eat you in .04 seconds, there is a God!
Piercing almond-shaped eyes.
Crushing-molars being sharpened like knife blades preparing to indulge you like a sumptuous delicacy.
Orange striped carnivorous animal, lying in wait to pounce at you at a moment’s notice.
The majestic Bengal tiger of South India.
Named Richard Parker.
Huh?
Well, Richard Parker, the name of the Bengal tiger in Yann Martel’s book and now movie, may have a funny name but is not as casual of a creature as his name makes him out to be.
If you’ve read the book or watched the movie, you’ll be familiar with the fictional story of the Patel family moving their zoo animals from South India to Canada. The Japanese cargo ship the family is traveling on capsizes in a violent storm and Pi Patel spends the next 200 + days of his life on a small life boat with a Bengal tiger, named Richard Parker.
Which God saves Pi’s life?
Throughout the novel, we learn Pi’s epic venture is both a religious and spiritual one.
Prior to Pi’s epic journey, Pi is toying with the idea of being a Muslim, Hindu or a Christian. In fact, he practices all three religions angering the local clergy of all faiths.
“But he can’t be a Hindu, Christian and Muslim. It’s impossible. He must choose” the religious clergy declare as they congregate in his house, at the same time.
With the eyes of a minister, a priest, the Imam and both his parents on him, Pi blurts out “Bapu Gandhi said ‘All religions are true’ I just want to love God”.
After months of consternation and feeling the glaring eyes of the spiritual crowd in his house, Pi’s father chimes in to offer his support, “I supposed that’s what we’re all trying to do – love God”.
Throughout the book, Pi reaches out to God and we can only imagine that it must been some phenomenal power that keeps Pi alive. And carries him across the Ocean for more than 200 some days. Oh yeah, with the company of a BENGAL TIGER!!
Was it the miraculous power of God, of all faiths and religions, which saves Pi’s life?
Pi was indiscriminate in his preference for a particular God – in fact, he believed in the God of all faiths equally.
Is there only one God?
According to Hindu traditions and dogma, there is also one universal God or ‘Brahman’. Hinduism actually believes that there are many paths to reach this God.
The Hindus believe that there’s no need to get into the details of how you reach the divine – as long as you’re trying to reach enlightenment through the path or religion that serves you best.
You don’t have to go with Ganesha, Shiva or Vishnu (the God, not the blogger) to attain salvation – you can just as well get there through Jesus or the teachings of the Buddha.
Which religion has the truth? Which one does God prefer?
Those of other religions and faiths would most likely call the Hindus universal acceptance of all religions and Gods ridiculous, even blasphemy.
Many religions want a mandate – that heir faith and their faith alone will get you to enlightenment, realization, divinity.
But could the God of one religion be the God of all religions?
Could there be only one God like there is only one sun? For example, people viewing the sun from different locations all around the world. Everyone will have a different perception/angle from where they stand on the planet but ultimately they’re all only viewing one sun?
Is God present in all religions?
Does God cozy up to anyone seeking Him and trying to live more divinely?
Or does God have the ins with your religion and planning to help you get on the VIP list to the club called salvation?
What do you believe? Please leave a comment below and chime in.
I help people overcome their devastating breakups and divorces and find love again. Instead of visiting the Himalayas, sign up below and join me. I am taking a writing break but will be back soon.
This guide is free. A ticket to the Himalayas is $2000. Your move.
